confused

[user9463728]

hi. ive been really wondering if somethings wrong with me and its stressing me out. i think that i might have ocd but not sure if this is a symptom. every month or so ill read a book, watch a tv show, see a new person or discover a new sport. i become so obsessed with that something that i feel like my whole life revolves around it. i start feeling really guilty (i have no idea why) and like i cant live without it. for example, right now its a tv show. i want to be in the tv show so bad that i start hating my life. (sounds stupid, i know). i was feeling perfectly fine since my last obsession until this one started. i cant do anything without thinking about the show or comparing everything i do to it. i hadnt cried for a long time but these past 2 days i cant stop the feeling of wanting to cry. i keep crying about it but i physically cannot stop myself from watching it. it was like my last obsession, which was figure skating. i discovered the sport and decided right then and there i wanted to be an olympic figure skater. then of course, i spent hours researching everything about the sport and found out most olympic figure skaters started at an extremely young age. i felt so sad i couldnt stop crying and thought that my life had to be based around this. (i didnt even know this sport existed a few hours before this.) i signed myself up for a private figure skating lesson. then 3 days later i woke up and was really confused about what i saw in the sport and cancelled the lesson. that was the end of that obsession. it doesnt sound like much but during the obsession i feel so paralyzed and like i cant escape it. really. is there something wrong with me or is this normal? it is seriously annoying. anyways this was kind of long sorry. thanks.

[geoff]

Hello User, having OCD creates obsessions and compulsions that interfere with our daily activities and cause significant distress and those who don't have OCD can't understand nor appreciate the pressure it makes us feel so that we need to do something, not once but several times, so they have no comprehension nor understanding that many people do suffer from this condition, either silently or be made known.

I'm not a doctor so I can't diagnose you, but I've had OCD for a long long time and know the many different compulsions this illness can cause, so you can get help from a psychologist who specifically specialises in this illness, and from what you've told us, this could well be this illness.

It will also cause people to have 'intrusive thoughts' which you can type in the search bar above and read the multitude of comments people have made.

I also take medication, although it hasn't completely stopped my obsessions and compulsions, while others have been able to overcome their OCD.

I hope you can get back to us and continue the talk.

Best wishes.

Geoff.

[Sophie_M]

Hi user9463728,

We are really sorry to hear about how much distress you have been in due to these obsessions and feelings. It sounds like things have been rough for you and we are really glad you reached out and shared this on the forums tonight. 
We'd recommend you talk about your experiences  with our Support Service, our mental health counsellors can offer some support, information and referrals: www.beyondblue.org.au/getsupport or 1300 22 4636.  

I want you to know that with the right treatment and support, things really can improve. Realising that something is wrong and being able to share this is a great first step.

Kindest Regards,

[user9463728]

thank you very much. ive looked up a little about intrusive thoughts and i think that i may get them sometimes. i sometimes think about doing hurtful things to my parents. i really hate it and tell myself to stop. i love them so much and would never want to do that to them. ive looked up a few other symptoms like having a lucky number and double checking things. ive had a lucky number, 3, for a while and i do sometimes do things in sets of 3. before turning off my phone, i have to check i have no tabs open 3 times then turn off my phone and place it upside down. however, i don't do it all the time, only when i feel the need too. another one ive noticed is that my parents always tell me to leave the windows in the bathroom open while i take a shower. i never do because i feel like someones watching me. i always open them up after i put my clothes on so it seems like i had them open the entire time. i always double check the bathroom lock till im comfortable. before i get in the shower, i always flip the clock in the bathroom because i feel like theres a camera in it. i double check under the stool in the bathroom too incase someone put a camera there. if my brother had a shower before me, i always have the flip the bathmat because he stood on the other side which just bothers me. ive been flipping the bathmat since i was 12 and have only started being paranoid about the cameras since a year ago. another thing is it bothers me so much when im watching a tv show with someone and i can see them breathing next to me. i try so hard not to match our breathing patterns. it irritates me so much i usually just block them out a little with my hand. (not rudely haha) these problems usually aren't a big deal because it mostly happens before i get in the shower and certain situations. it definitely doesn't bother me as much as the obsessions but still annoying. do you think i should tell my parents about all these problems? thanks for taking the time to read this. i have no one else to talk about this with.

[Petal22]

Hi user9463728,

Welcome to our forums!

I understand anxiety, I had severe anxiety OCD I have now recovered from this condition… with my OCD I had intrusive thoughts these thoughts caused me distress, I would check things, I would have the thoughts if I don’t do this….. then something bad will happen, I’d have a lot of what if’s, I’d perform compulsions to try to bring my anxiety down, I’d seek reassurance, I’d analyse my thoughts…….

OCD is a vicious cycle, but the good news is you can learn to break free of its grips with the correct help….

My recovery started from seeing my gp we did a mental health together, this then enabled me to see a clinical phycologist who gave me many strategies, I saw a psychiatrist who diagnosed me this then led me to a OCD clinic that specialised in OCD I did a 8 week group therapy there, this is we’re I learned to master my OCD…. It took perseverance but I’ve now been free of its grips for 4 years going strong… I was taught many tools……… if it is OCD you have there is hope you can recover from it….. if I have you can…….

Yes, have a chat to your parents about what’s happening……. If it’s causing you distress please take the steps to see health professionals so you receive the help you need……..

Your not alone many people have this condition…

im here to chat

[Petal22]

Also OCD for me was ….. I new my thoughts seemed irrational but they “felt very real “……. The anxiety with OCD is very intense…..

[Amanda2000]

Hi there,

I have the same kind of obsession as you. For you it's figure skating, for me it was artistic gymnastics. I'm talking about many many many years ago when I was 16. Yes I went through the exact same thought process as you've described.

A psychologist once told me you need to perform some kind of ritual in order to be ocd.

Maybe this kind of obsession is more a personality thing. Like we're over-passionate or something?

Over the years I have developed ocd unfortunately. On my bad days I feel totally defeated and I just need to ride it out. It's all about ongoing management and trying to find some enjoyment in life on my good days.

[user9463728]

what could be an example of a ritual?

[user9463728]

this is so frustrating i cant stand it. if its just a personality thing im going to be so annoyed because then whats wrong with me? i cant deal with these obsessions i just have to wait for them to pass and its so bad.

[Petal22]

Hi user9463728,

Sorry you are feeling this way, I understand how frustrating and scary obsessions can be …… when I was in the grips of OCD they were continuous until I received professional help……. If your obsessions are causing you distress I strongly encourage you to seek professional help……. Start with your gp……

In my experience with OCD a ritual ( compulsion) was some times performed in my mind…… so they weren’t always physical…… You CAN learn to break free of its grips with the correct help….. “ please know if it OCD that you have it is totally treatable! You CAN recover with the correct help……

Have you spoken to your parents about the way you are feeling?

Please know I’m here to chat to you 😊