Confrontation anxiety

[Whatsinaname]

Hi everyone,

Long time between drinks, but just looking for a shoulder to lean on I guess.

Today's story: I overtook a car in a 100 zone, my speedo said he was doing 90. Anyway he touted at me and I could see in the rear view he was yelling at me. As we came up to a T intersection he was still going and I honestly had no idea what the issue was so when he pulled up beside me I lowered my window (not sure why) nd he proceed to yell at me.for over taking him when he was doing 100 and over taking on unbroken lines (the definitely were, they were unbroken for on coming traffic as we were going down hill).

I kinda just disagreed and he yelled some more then we went our own ways.

Long story short: I know feel really anxious about the possibility that I did do something wrong.

I'm well aware that worst case my speedo is wrong and he was doing 100 and I over took by speeding, but nothing happened and life goes on.

My issue is something like that instantly puts me in a spiral of what its and ends with me feeling like I need to do something dramatic (like sell the car).

Does anyone else have an issue like this and bonus points if you have a trick to stop that spiral?

Thanks,

[Whatsinaname]

Sorry a few typos in there, but I think it makes sense haha

[Birdy77]

Hey Whatsinaname,

Your post made perfect sense! I didn't even notice typos - pleaee don't let them send you into another spiral, typos send me that way sometimes 🙄

I can totally relate to your scenario, so i wanted to lend you my shoulder to lean on.

Not sure if i will get those bonus points, because it seems to depend on other things that are going on for me whether i can divert my unhelpful thinking (eg "let's sell the car") towards more healthy solutions (eg, "lets go to for a nice brisk walk, listen to some good music and clear this bad energy out of the system").

Not sure if that's how it is for you but that is kind of how it works for me - it's like i get trapped in this negative vortex of bad energy, and it's not until i can extract myself from that, that i can see the scenario rationally and give myself a hand up out of that anxiety.

Sometimes just talking to someone who gets it, or who has something to say that sort of snaps me out of it can help too.

So .... I'm hoping that even posting here has helped, to see that you're not alone ...

I think it's also totally ok to feel yuck after confrontation. I'm thinking, if you felt awesome after it, that would be more worrying, right?

🌻birdy

[Whatsinaname]

Thanks for your reply Birdy, apologies for my late response.

Funnily enough I did exactly what you suggested, I took my wife and son to the park.

I do worry that my son will pick up on my anxiety because I become very quiet and distant. Last thing I want is for him to go through the same thing.

And yeah you're right, if you felt awesome after a confrontation there might be worse issues at play.

[Mel72]

You sound so much like myself, I know thats no answer for you but just reading your post made me feel not so alone.

thank you