Where to start...
So, I'm new here to the forums and live with intense anxiety and bouts of depression - a reality I'm only really starting to talk about and admit to myself and others. I am reaching out for support. I have experienced a traumatic few months with my mental health with changing medications and working with the ACUTE mental health team to see what was best for me so I didn't have to go to hospital. I thought I may have had to go, though wanted to stay home in the environment I know. I am seeing psychologists, and going through a change with work. I feel like my my identity is completely rattled and unsure presently.
You see, I get stuck. I get stuck in my thoughts and believe them to be the truth. I realise this isn't helpful though these thoughts and feelings totally consume me and I become lost. I am lost. Lost within the past or future or the worry, rahter than living in the present and taking every moment as it comes. I can break out of it sometimes, though it comes back. I want to be free of my negative thought patterns. To let go. To believe I am something. That I am worthy. I care so much about what others think of me. I project my own judgement onto others so it reaffirms my own judgements. Maybe people do judge me? But I don't want to care. This is so tricky...
I don't want to end up in hosptial. Last week I really thought I might. I want my confidence back. I lost it somewhere a while ago and can't pinpoint how, when or where?
Can I ever be free?
