Avoiding exposure

[Shila]

Hi,

This is my first post and I'm not sure where else to turn. I have anxiety and ptsd and a huge trigger for severe anxiety attacks for me is clowns. Long story but last year I had a complete break because someone at work thought dressing up as one after disclosing my phobia was funny and I was off work for 6 months.

With the remake of a certain movie out at the moment my trigger seems to be everywhere. I'm now avoiding just about everything and it feels like the whole world is stopping me from recovering. I know that its the anxiety talking but it's like the world is out to get me.

Does anyone else experience this and how do you cope in times of repeated and unpredictable exposure?

[RandR]

Hi there Shila and welcome to the BB forums 🙂

After reading your post ,and especially your first, I can only imagine that the idea of reaching out being a little daunting. Well done for mustering the courage and may name is Raman and it's nice to meet you on the forums.

Thanks for sharing your situation. My phobia is spiders! The smallest one can force me to not sleep at night or in the same room. The timing of the recent IT movie doesn't help and I can imagine it would trigger a lot of anxiety as I too see it advertised everywhere. Unfortunately I think it's just something that will be advertised for a short period of time and will reduce day by day so fingers crossed that's sooner rather than later.

I suffered from major depression however 10 months ago my ex girlfriend suffered major anxiety, PTSD, social anxiety, sleep deprivation and panic attacks so I got to see first hand the effects, impacts as well as triggers. I'm also sorry to hear that your work colleague did that to you. People can be beyond idiots and stupid at times and If someone put a fake spider on my work desk I know I too wouldn't have been impressed and would of been very angry. I understand the feeling of 'the whole world stopping me', this was a huge feeling when I suffered major depression. Although you might not feel it, this is a typical offset and feeling but I can assure you the world is not out to get you. In these times I found focusing on my interest and hobbies (especially things you do that make you at ease or find therapeutic to be key).

Regarding repeated and unpredictable exposure I will reach out to some of our other community champions who have similar backgrounds to you and who have also experienced what you are currently experiencing as they may be of more help.

Thanks so much for reaching out, know that you are being listened to and are not along and that things do get better over time but appreciate that it is step by step process and a journey and not a race 🙂

Thanks @Shila 🙂

Raman.

[white knight]

Hi Shila, welcome

Raman has described phobia very well. When several other people describe it in a similar vein, you know you arent alone.

So, after working in a jail as a young man I had a phobia if blood. 15 years later while having a transfusion I knew my fear would come home to roost so for the first time I decided that blood water coloured water, cordial, ...no fears...I was fine. Why? Because a combination of emotional maturity over 15 years and a change in mental state/approach.

The second time was more severe. After a workplace incident when my honour was questioned I had a panic attack that was initially incorrectly diagnosed as heart attack. That led to a fear of crowds, traffic and nasty people. I put up the "wall" to survive. I escaped to the bush intending it to be forever...it lasted 5 days. Clearly I had to find an answer....and I did. Hence why I'm replying.

The secret is getting all this in perspective and acknowledging that our mind is over reacting due to trauma. Add to that some people after a cheap laugh at your expense which we are limited in our ability to stop.

The answers I found are in the first post of the following threads. Add information to professional therapy and GP recommendations and directions and you're on the way to a normal life with your own personal conditions.

Use google

Topic: fortress of survival- beyondblue

Topic: be radical- beyondblue

Topic: how I eliminated anxiety- beyondblue

Topic: 30 minutes can change your life- beyondblue

Topic: wit the only answer to torment- beyondblue

Post anytime.

Tony WK

[MarkJT]

Shila. hey welcome to the beyondblue forums and well done on a really courageous post.

I can understand where you are coming from as I have PTSD from an incident i attended in my job in the emergency services.

Without going into detail, what I experienced is replicated on TV, in games and in pictures quite often however after some really successful treatment, it does not worry me as much as it once did.

Are you currently being treated for your PTSD and anxiety?

If you are not being treated, I would love for you to get the GP and start treatment. I am walking proof that you can overcome your triggers.

If you are being treated, how?

Lets work through this so you can get back to being you again.

Oh and in regards to that person who dressed up as a clown, if you could teach dumb that person would be a Professor. Just plain dumb behaviour.

Mark.

[Shila]

Thank you for all of the replies. It helps to know I'm not alone.

I moved to a rural town last year and after the work incident I went back home for treatment and am now is a larger city centre. I think a trip back to my GP is a good idea. I thought that after 6 months of treatment back home I would be ok. But I feel like I've gone backwards. Is that common?

[MarkJT]

Shila, i don't think it is so much as going backwards but it takes constant treatment to get on top of the symptoms and then constant self care to remain on top.

Sometimes we are really good at self care and then we become symptomatic again so it is a case of learning to take the bump that we get and overcoming it. Adapt and overcome.

I consider myself pretty advanced in my recovery but i still have my bad days. I can judge pretty quickly to what level a bad day is and have strategies in place to counter them.

Mental health conditions will test you probably more than you ever will be tested but regular maintenance (GP and/or psych visits) help us continue to function.

I see my psych every three months now and I basically think of it like taking the car in for a service. Just have a check up and get a few questions answered. Bear in mind that using the same analogy, i had my engine, gearbox and chassis rebuilt!!

Outside of clinical treatment, what do you do to keep yourself mentally healthy and in recovery mode?

Mark.

P.S. you are most certainly NOT alone!

[Shila]

I hadn't even thought of self care. I'm still working on proper sleep and try to be active by walking a couple times a week but some days my anxiety is bad and I struggle to leave the house.

[MarkJT]

Shila, what you are doing is self care. Working on proper sleep is exactly that.

My self care includes:

• Making sure i am eating relatively well, staying away from junk food etc
• Making sure i get some kind of exercise daily. In the early days if i couldn't leave the house, I would do indoor exercises
• Practicing mindfulness
• Staying away from alcohol and caffeine

Can you also pick up some of these, if you are not already doing them?

Mark