At a loss with what to do.

[Lisabubbles]

Lets see if I can keep this short.

I was diagnosed with depression and anxiety when I was around 23 (now 34). I was on medication for 9ish years and have been off it for 3.5ish years.

Since being with my current partner I am having anxiety attacks which are triggered by numerous things which all seem to centre around trust, fear and possible hurt. I really struggle when he has days off work and and my texting and freaking out puts a lot of strain on our relationship. Whilst I don't want to pass blame, some of my fears have been bought on by his behaviour and whilst i try to let go of it, i'm so fearful of these things happening again.

Since early on in our relationship I have vomited most mornings. I never use to know why, however have now put it down to the anxious feeling and stress I feel when I wake up. I'm scared that my day is going to end in conflict and there is nothing I hate more than conflict.

I know I need to go back to my Dr's and Im sure i'll end up with a psych referral but in the mean time I would love some tips on how to cope when I have no idea what he is doing on a day off. It seems so silly and paranoid...but I feel like I am conditioned to react with anxiety and I hate it. If I don't watch out I am going to let anxiety ruin my relationship.

Please help.

[Lisabubbles]

Hi

That's not true at all. He would never lay a hand on me. Everyone deals with anger in different ways and whilst his way isn't very productive he is learning to deal with it better. It's just a whole lotta noise. His anger is a mental issue just like my anxiety is and we are both getting help.

[dougall]

Hi sorry if I hit a nerve

[Lisabubbles]

It's not really a nerve, it's just that too often people are too quick to write people off because they might carry baggage or have problems. It's like saying someone shouldn't be with me because I suffer from depression and anxiety and can be a handful...I'm not sure what information I provided that made you suggest my relationship may not be safe. Whilst we both struggle at times and deal with demons there is nothing unsafe about it. As I said, he doesn't get physical and as far as emotional abuse goes.. Yeah he has probably been guilty of that but we both recognise it which is why he is getting help. Despite the bad and the problems we are both facing we certainly have the most strongest relationship both of us have been in.

[Doolhof]

Hi Lisabubbles,

It can be tough when both people in a relationship have their own problems. My husband and I are both having days where our depression is not so good.

Sometimes we bounce off each other and both become annoyed and frustrated, then other days I am able to let it slide more and realise he is having a shocker of a day too.

Hopefully your boyfriend will find some answers for his anger problems. I know from experience that it is difficult to deal with anger at times. Hopefully he will learn to turn the volume down on his frustrations, but still be able to let them out in a less aggressive manner.

It sounds like you are both very willing to work on your issues and accept each others health concerns. Congratulations to you both.

I hope you have found ways to feel better with in yourself . Are you still having the vomiting issues? Hope that settles down soon.

Thinking of you, from Mrs. Dools

[Lisabubbles]

Hi,

Yes the vomiting (dry heaving) is still an issue. Just yesterday I was about to leave for work and had had this feeling all morning I needed to do it. It was actually the latest in the morning it's ever been, but I quickly went to the bathroom and got rid of the feeling so to speak. I'm back at my drs next Tuesday so I will discuss it further with him. It's a horrible feeling, but I get such a feeling of relief once it's done.

[dougall]

It might be a coping mechanism for you.