Anyone quit a job due to not having a grip on Anxiety?

[Zeity]

I have been in my role for 7yrs. It offers flexibility, ridiculous great hours but poor pay, lil progress and a boss who will praise you one day and humiliate you in a meeting room the next. Ive been buried in a pressure cooker for the last 2 months and finally uttered the words IM DONE...penned a letter, decorating with thanks yous and fluffy stuff and admitted it was to take time off for self-care, basically due to "health" reasons. I dont have a back plan and my husband is currently not earning. But ive spent 2 months not sleeping, not eating, working almost 3 times the amount i csn physically do. When he turns on you, he is anniliating. Basically, i go to work in constant fear that im going to stuff up and get told off by him all the time....and i just need a bresk to sort my life out and reset my head to die doen the crazy chatter. It is stupid for me to not have another job lined up and resign.in 48hrs but the reality it is my anxiety wont let me look for a shop whike i still work there. Itll be written all over my face

[Nervybella]

Hi Zeity

Ijust want to say you’re not alone in these feelings. I’ve been there too. I left a job after just a few days because I know it wasn’t right and my mental health would suffer as a result. If it helps to re assure you... I contacted my previous boss and another close colleague and asked them to be my references going forward - do you have another job you could contact and see if someone would be your referee? If you’re involved with any community groups, schools or volunteering ask if someone there will be a character reference for you.

I wont lie, being unemployed is tough and the job hunt can be exhausting. I’ve been looking for a month now and only had 2 (unsuccessful) interviews. I was very worried, like you, about exposing the gap/ reason for leaving previous employment. Surprisingly one place didn’t even ask me, and the other time I just have a pretty generic response of “the previous role ended up not being the right fit for me” and it went down fine

Honestly, your mental health is the most important thing here. You sound very conscientious by wanting to give the correct notice period, but don’t forget to look after yourself first!

All the best Zeity, and please reach out if you’d like to chat more

best

bella.

[Zeity]

Thanks Bella. Im on the home stretch now...with only 5 days to go till the person i have been replacing comes back. I thought the worst of the job was over....after the big end of month mail put went out Friday...but now the calls are coming in and i don't know how much kore my work or i can take. Just trying to breathe thru it. Im weighing up the option of what is worse...staying in this job knowing ill go bavk to normal role and normal hours versus quitting and contemplating what am i going to do next? I have book to see my therapist Tuesday. Fingers crossed fir a breakthtough moment

[Zeity]

Im in a sudden state of panic. I sense doom pending at work. Im so frightened. Is quitting really my only anawer when im the cause...im the stuff up...im the one thats not coping...what am i learning from this....if im not learning im just dragging my anxious self to another job? Who would have me? Im falling apart

[Guest_1584]

Yep , quit quite a few jobs in anxiety back in the day , and stormed out of school a few times before that too.

l've worked for myself 30yrs now , l love the freedom and l don't have to deal with other people 8hours a day , which l just couldn't seem to do, l just have a few customers now and then now. and l handle most of my business via text.

lf you do quit you could try a job where it's just a one on one sitch or just one or two other people max , and in some kind of environment where you feel comfortable. That stuff helped me a lot ,

Anyway , good luck.

[Zeity]

Im in a bad headspace at the moment. Couldnt imagine working for myself and cant imagine working in a small environment where taking time off might be a burden. I overthink everything. I hit my lowest low last night. Ended up on bathroom floor, panic attack and had hands firmly round my neck. And then i hear kids voices and think they would miss me more than anyone at work. Im just stuck. I want to be at work to be accountable for mistakes. I want to go back to my old role at work and try and redeem myself from there...but in the interim...having your flaws and errors on show is humiliating. I told my boss from the start i was not ok, i was not coping...the attitude was..it can all be fixed, whats the worse that can happen....but as the calls come in and errors are coming up..his patience is wesring thin. Ive lost 3kgs. My face looks like it's been drained of life. How can 6 weeks of helping out a colleague be the unhealthiest thing you've ever done.

[Guest_1584]

Yeah well that's good , good points too and yeah that would be the down sides for sure, you know what won't work for ya then so that's a good start. What l'm saying is l knew what would work best for me and what l wanted to do so l went with that and l've enjoyed work since. l get a few people dropping in on through the day , the odd friend or brother and meet a few good people in customers here and there, l enjoy that too, suits me best like this and no more problems, well in that way anyway..

So if you can look for the situation that suits you best in life, work, keeps you calm and content, whatever that may be 300 people or one, whatever the environment you'd feel comfortable in, you should settle right down and into some peace and enjoying work instead of dreading it.

All the best.

rx

[Zeity]

Soooo the update is that my work know im not ok, im not coping and theyve just put it down to that im not coping with this 6wk task and it'll all be over on 4 more days and ill return to my old role and balance will be restored in the galaxy. My problem is I CANT LET IT GO.I SEE MYSELF AS HAVING FAILED AND IT IS HUMILIATING. And the kind of work we do, mistakes could keep popping up throughout the next financial year! So, it's going to be a long time of explaining myself and taking accountability for errors ive made. In hindsight, it was ridiculous to put a parttimer to cover a manager role but i thought i had enough processes noted down (the problem was i had no real context of what i was doing) I have had support from staff and boss with their "It can all be fixed..." attitude but as errors come to light i can sense their support/patience/tolerance wearing thin. Ive never felt more incompetent in my life and even though they want me to hang in there till i resume my former role...i have to face coming undone...admit failure to follow processes for last 6wks...be accountable for mistakes....this has consumed my life! Om on Beyond Blue for goodness sake. My husband caught me on Lifeline on Fathers Day....WHY HAVE I ALLOWED THIS TO AFFECT ME SO MUCH?! Im going to be picked on and targetted for every error for months to come...in an underpaid job. I know this thread was about quitting over anxisty...but im in my late 40s, got 2 primary school aged kids and a husband on redundancy...where am i going?! I just want the chest palpatations and the sinister thoughts stop haunting me. Becsuse my family deserve better. I hope we can look back and laugh about it "Oh remember the time you took over the accounts and mucked it up?" but right now, i have zero confidence even in the things i should know well.

[CoraC]

I too have felt everything you describe. It is absolutely consuming to be overwhelmed by work and it really can take over your life. Just wanted to say I appreciate how hard it is. I absolutely hate making mistakes and I really catastrophise about it. Usually my own thoughts are way, way worse than anything that actually happens. It is extremely hard to take on new tasks and know how to do everything.

Just a thought, when the regular person comes back, is there a way of checking some of the things you're not sure about? Might give you some peace of mind to get on the front foot to say you want to make sure you did things right and would like another perspective. Often mistakes can be fixed if they're identified early enough.

All the best. I really hear the pain in your posts and empathise with you hugely.

[Zeity]

We have a mid month and end of month process we run. She comes back on the 12th Thursday and the mid month has to be processed by the 15th which falls on a Sunday...so my front foot puts her on the back foot first day back at work as she will have to run payments and do kid month on her first day back. Not fair on her and not exactly is going to put her ease when i have to tell her that i havent coped this whole time. I know 10yrs ago she went away for 9 weeks and spent a solid week fixing up everything. I think she had more faith in me this time - i even had more faith in me. But it's all messed up. The worst thing is that i cant switch off my brain and just enjoy the weekend with family i turn up the anxiety switch on Monday. The only 2 positives ive done is book my psycologist on Tues night and saw a random GP today to tell them that my anxiety is taking me too dark places and im scared for my life. I started medication today. Im seeing therapist Tues. I just have to survive 3 more days in her role and then survive her reaction yo my poor performance. Im using the wird "survive" because i feel like im on the edge. How silly? For a role that was not mine? For a job that is grossly underpaid? Ive been competent for 7yrs....how can 6wks attempting a role ive never done undo me? My loving husband is losing his patience with me..."Whats the worse that can happen?", "It can be fixed", "Is it worth destroying your life over?"....it all makes sense...yet its Saturday and im on here instead of spending time eith my family. When will it all end?!

[Zeity]

Ive been awake on and off since 3am. My mind has just rattled off a number of mistakes i have ro own up to. Everyone at work have been so supportive of the task i took on but i did every bad as i thought. It's not anxiety exaggerating things...i really made a mess of things. I dont even know what the front foot is anymore. Im going to come undone and be humiliated. I had processes. I wrote a manual. I didnt trust my insticts. Oh what a mess ive created!!!! My mind plays "easy way outs" but i love family too much to hurt them. But i have not been present with my family for weeks since taking on this task. I started citlopram SSRI yesterday. Im taking rescue remedy spray with it. Hope thats ok. I know it has alcohol but it's only a little.