anxiety won't let go and it keeps itself alive

[Em_thatisme]

So I was wondering if anyone else is like this.

I have anxiety (a few of you have that 🙂 ). I do things that perpetuate the anxiety. I keep:

1. looking at us gossip sites and the hours pass by

2. researching new things I should be doing for my family's well being when I have about four books that I should be reading that I know will help me deal with my anxiety and help me raise our son with Asperger's. So I have real things to learn and put into action.

3. getting distracted with crap that really does not matter. I think about my mother-in-law and her patterns of behavior.  I think of my sister-in-laws and how we don't get on.

4. I think about how my sister-in-law has borderline personality disorder and I try to understand it better and therefore keep thinking about something negative.

Anyway all the things that make me feel negative in some way and take me out of where I am are also the things that I crave. They are juicy for my brain. Now that wouldn't be much of a problem on its own but I can't bring myself to do any of the things I KNOW would help my days be better.

I don't exercise, I don't meditate and I eat junk food. 

I should probably also mention that 2015 has been a hard year but even before that I was never particularly regular in looking after myself. So anyone else similar?

[Croix]

Dear Em_thatisme,

Yes for me too anxiety does feed on itself and does keep going, sucking in new thoughts to worry endlessly over and sometimes even seeming to make me resentful with interruptions to it.

It’s hard to break out of this cycle – I don’t mean in the long term, just at the time it is happening.  In fact one can be so deeply in it that even realizing that breaking out is a possibility doesn’t always occur.

An example is to just lie in bed during the night with the mind going round and round for hours and not thinking that getting up and making a cup of tea is in fact an option – incidentally one that has sometimeshelped me a bit in the past.

There are two things I find are necessary if I am going to get even partial relief.

Firstly I have to realise that one should ‘do something’ – not easy when totally preoccupied inside the current attack.

Secondly that ‘something’ should be pleasurable so there is an immediate incentive to do it. That ‘something’ hopefully  can also act as a distraction and open up other avenues of thought  getting the mind out of the current endless repetitive cycle.

I don’t have any answer for making myself realise I should do ‘something’except experience. I’ve had my condition for very many years and I guess I get into a habit of sometimes if I'm lucky thinking “hey this is bad I must do something”.

I have found that the ‘something’ always involves a bit of physical effort – even if it is only a minor one such getting up out of bed, or a major one such as going for a walk. It also has to be a distraction, perhaps talking to someone, reading, making tea, whatever works at the time.

Best wishes

Croix

[Tiger1263]

Hi Em-thatisme

 I've had anxiety on and off for 35 years. It's always there but it has just differed in its severity over the years. I'm stuck in the grips of agoraphobia now and have been for the past ten years. My story is long but I did learn something that has helped me cope when things get a little tricky.

Have you done Cognitive Behavioural Therapy ( CBT) ?? If not then might I suggest it's something you look into. I did a year or more of it 7 or so years ago and what it's enabled me to do is control my thoughts if an anxiety episode starts to rear it's head. I can actually stop it from blowing out to a panic attack through the power of my own thought. If I find myself wallowing in something that increases anxiety I can snap my brain into a thought process that looks beyond the end of my own nose. I stop thinking about myself and I think of other poor sods who have it so much worse than we do. I think about people battling cancer, people without shelter, people that are starving and those caught in war zones. When I do that I can look internally and say to myself " what are you worrying about mate ?? " I realise that comparitively speaking we have it so much better than so many others. CBT helped me to learn this thought process.

Anyhow good luck and remember you're not alone.

Regards

[Poppy]

Hello ! 

I personally will spend hours online shopping (mostly without buying anything ) and also read lots about my mums cancer despite knowing most of it and knowing it will depress me. 

But most activities aren't a waste of time if they make you feel good , it sounds like you have quite a bit on your plate so it's so important to take time for yourself and do things that don't make you anxious.

I know I shouldn't read about cancer but the online shopping thing is okay if I don't do it all the time. 

I am trying to yoga most days and it is really with my anxiety ; I also downloaded an app called " Buddify" and it has meditations for every situation from mental pain to waking up to not being able to sleep ; it's really good ! 

🙂 Poppy