Anxiety, Underwhelming New Employment & Body changes

[rosie_rose]

This is my first post here and I guess I just wanted a space to share my thoughts and feelings. In 2020, I lost my job when the pandemic hit. It was kind of a blessing in disguise as I had developed some bad drinking habits to cope with work & stress & was generally unhappy. Having the time with my partner to re-calibrate was so peaceful & rejuvenating. But I knew it wasnt going to last.

We had to move from the city, 5hrs away. We have been living in a small rural town since. We rent on a small property, which is nice but I mostly feel lonely and bored. I’ve been unemployed since losing my job but did get about a months work in town. Everyday I cried before and after work and felt so anxious. The town here is strange, people are poverty stricken and have a real rural mentality. I was getting leered at, the workload was underwhelming (I would have preferred busy work to manage anxiety), the staff unfriendly, I just feel like I don’t fit in here at all and the job didn’t last.

I recently had to terminate a pregnancy, I struggled with the emotions and decision .My body doesn’t feel like itself yet & I’m starting a new job next week; I have four, 8hr days lined up over the next two weeks. I’m feeling so anxious and sick about it - I’m scared about my body hurting, I’m nervous to be interacting with people (I haven’t really spoken to many people in 2 years) & I’m scared I’m going to be so terrible, maybe they will think I lied about my previous experience & won’t be able to cope (though I know this is probably not going to happen in a tiny rural town).

Im trying to remember the positives about it - getting out of the house, having an opportunity to communicate, having a couple days of routine, contributing to our savings, having my own money, engaging in something different…

I have a lot of work related anxiety - meeting other peoples expectations about careers etc & conforming. I find work meaningless, menial and mundane. Though I admit, I’m not really an ambitious person. I love creating and being in nature - I feel safest in nature, which is why I so often isolate myself at home. This town has no opportunities, it’s really quite depressing. Most of the people are unemployed. I want to leave but my partner has a job he likes. I know I kind of need to just get over it & have a job & it’s only a couple days a week - but I feel like my mind is running wild with anxiety 😣

[Sophie_M]

Hi rosie_rose,

Thank you so much for your first post with us. Our valued online forums community is a safe space for you to share your thoughts, seek and give support. And we thank you so much for doing so today. It is very brave of you.

We are sorry to hear things have been so difficult for you as you have experienced so many major changes and obstacles in the last few years. Keeping a positive mindset during these times can be very hard, and anxiety does not help the situation.  We want you to know we're here to provide you with as much support, advice and conversation as you need.

We hope you know that there is always help available to you, whether it's from our professional mental health counsellors Beyond Blue (available 24/7/365 on 1300 22 4636).

Our community have a range of experiences to share and so we recommend having a look through other posts in the forum as well.

[Banksy92]

Hi rosie_rose,

I'm so sorry to hear you're dealing with so much right now. I can feel the hurt in your words. Big changes to our environment, body and world have an impact on our wellbeing. Particularly if they aren't feeling like a good fit. So I think its understandable if you're feeling really overwhelmed and unsure about thing right now.

In terms of your anxiety, have you considered seeking some professional help? If you speak to a GP they can put you on a mental health care plan and refer you to a psychologist who can help you manage and reduce these symptoms. It might be a really welcome support in your life with so much uncertainty and change right now? Have you been able to talk with your partner about how you're going? I hope they are a comfort for you during this time.

It's positive that you're reaching out here and able to express what's going on for you. It's a really supportive community filled with people who have similar experiences who want to help each other.

Let us know how you're getting on.

[ThrivingNow]

Hi rosie_rose

How are you going in the new job?

I have a body weight exercise app on my phone. It is free. It is 7M workout by Johnson and Johnson. I like to get up early in the morning, watch the sunrise and do a workout. I found this helped me because no matter what the day had in store for me I had invested in myself first. I understand that exercise is helpful for some of the concerns that you mentioned.

It took me some time but I learned that I can only control me. I set myself goals and work towards them. I listen to what others say because I don't know everything but I don't rely on what others say to dictate how I feel about me. I am in charge of how I feel about me.

All the best.