Anxiety?...plan your future.

[white knight]

Who would have known? That when first hit with panic attacks, the shakes and racing thoughts- that it would be nearly a generation before most of those symptoms were overcome.

We read here a constant stream of anxiety sufferers that some are looking for a quick fix. A common theme it seems with anxiety is that we have strong tendencies to think only day to day as we are tied up with coping with our illness so much so we don't think about future plans in tackling the problem.

When we are anxious we are less likely to be good money savers, involve our thoughts with family planning or long term studies, its like our endurance is non existent.

How then can we tackle anxiety that requires treatment and mental exercises like relaxation classes as well as home exercises when we don't have that drive long term?

The mix is important. Medication, therapy, changes in lifestyle and removing toxic people, job swap and a slower calmer living location. But also routine.

My therapist in 1987 taught me muscle tensioning exercises. Nearly 30 years later I'm still doing them and throughout that time I've done them prior to sleep...in bed. My anxiety was such that doing them during the day I felt like I was wasting time when I could do other things more important. Such was my thinking...yet those exercises were much more a priority!

20 minutes doing mte's meant I slept better too.

I put in place my move to the country. That took a few years with occupation change and land purchase. To keep the mind on par with my plans I regularly visited my block to clear the trees and imagine my home built. Such medium and long range plans and dreams fell into place as time went on.

I was able to stop medication in 1999, 12 years after diagnosis and in 2012 I felt I was free of nearly all symptoms. However I still have anxious times that I put down to life itself but remain aware of anxiety returning.

We can't ever fully drop our guard with anxiety, as we can't with depression. That's why we need to seek out lifestyle changes and take the view that this illness is serious and won't go away in the short term.

To sum up

Work closely with your GP

Undertake recommended classes and therapy

Make positive changes to lifestyle and be decisive with relationships

Make medium and long range plans

Be positive and accept there is unlikely any quick fix

Self discipline, breathing and relaxation exercises must be done.

Be kind to yourself. Not too many expectations...

Tony WK

[JessF]

I think that for some people with very crippling anxiety, planning for the future is a fraught with danger as our minds are consumed with all of the terrible things we imagine are going to happen. "What if" is paralysing, it was for me for many years. My life is a lot simpler than it was even five years ago. I also used to be obsessed with "wasting time" on things I considered incosequential, yet these were the very things I needed to do to control my anxiety long term. It takes commitment and work, Tony, you are right, the quick fix doesn't exist. Our anxious thoughts and behaviours take a long time to bed in and learn, they can take just as long to unlearn.

[V17]

Thanks Tony, I needed to read this. Especially because the anxiety I feel this time around hit me like a tonne of bricks. In hindsight I never should have kept 'my finger off pulse' so to speak. I gotta keep reminding myself to think of me first in the sense of asking if I feel safe doing this or that. Mindfulness is an incredible thing.

I agree with you, too JessF - there is no quick fix. It takes as long as it takes.

Thanks for taking the time to write it, Tony 🙂
V.

[Doolhof]

Hi All,

Stress seems to be more my "thing". I have had a few panic attacks and a bit of anxiety, but no where near as much as you have all experienced.

Can you please tell me, do you become angry when you are anxious? I become intolerably angry and almost aggressive when I am badly stressed!

That is why our garden here has been so very beneficial in so many ways. When stressed out to a point where I can't calm down, if I am at home I can rip a dead bush apart, crack twigs and pull up hundreds of weeds.

My back screams at me to stop, but at times I keep going like a mad woman, like I need to exhaust myself or maybe punish myself through the pain.

Something to chat about with the psychologist when I can get an appointment!

Cheers all from Mrs. Dools

[V17]

Hi Mrs D 🙂

Oooh yeah, I have been a right angry little ant. I think you having an outlet with your garden is good, as you can safely express your anger. I'm learning through my psych that anger is a 'symptom' with what has been happening with my life recently. Sometimes anger is necessary as it can act as a motivator - like for me with my narcissistic ex; it helped me to act to get him out of my life. I'm learning that it's okay to feel angry and to express it in a healthy way. Recently I would get so angry Mrs D, that I pushed myself harder than ever on my bike until I cried. I felt exhausted. I've been blaming myself for staying in the relationship when my son was hurting because of what the ex was doing/had done. I didn't know it at the time, talking about it with my psych yesterday helped bring it out.

Perhaps it is a release of pent up emotion you are feeling? Are you maybe blaming yourself for something?

Unsure, Mrs D - but I think it's really good to talk about it with your psych - they are amazing.

V. xx

[white knight]

Great replies

Mrs Dools, I feel high levels of frustration but not anger/aggression.

Your description of your gardening demolition reminds me of a man about 65yo who had ADHD. Instead of medication he attended to the garden daily until exhausted. That kept his temper low and he was calm.

I think my suggestions about medium and long term plans are more from hindsight JessF. I can't remember that "crippling" period very much as it was a long time ago but it was indeed totally consuming.

V, I'm glad you are benefitting. These topics draw experiences from afar. It all helps

Tony WK

[Doolhof]

Hi Everyone,

Oh yes! Our garden does get a lot of attention, it needs it too! I also garden when I am not angry and frustrated. I have a sense of achievement out in the garden.

Sometimes my anger and frustration is aimed at my husband who refuses to help in the garden apart from occasionally mowing...with a ride on mower. When he first showed me this place and told me he wanted to buy it, I took one look at the 5 acre garden and asked if he would help keep the place in shape and he said No, that was my job. I told him there would be far too much work to do, especially with my bad back.

He bought the place anyway. If I didn't work in the garden we would be in a jungle of metre high weeds in no time. We are in a fire zone with three major fires happening the last 3 summers. Our town has only just been saved each time.

I was angry as a child. I felt like life and what was happening around me was out of my control. Guess I still feel that way.

Regarding my psychologist, she would tell me I was better than my depression and I was strong enough to not have negative thoughts, so in the end I just agreed with her. Once more I was not being listened to. I was there to talk about my issues not to have them swept under the rug.

I went to a specific grief counsellor to talk about the loss of our babies. She told me I should be thankful I don't have children.

Guess I need to let these people know what I need from them and not shut up like a clam shell and swallow everything!

Anyway, I'm going to pull some more weeds later, the fire season is rapidly approaching! I will enjoy listening to the birds, will take time to smell the roses and watch the clouds floating about in the sky.

It will be a good day!

Cheers all from Mrs. Dools

[white knight]

Love your tenacity Mrs Dools.

i have a system with gardening. Where u need to prune with shears I use a chain saw. Where I need to till I use a spade.

Be ruthless with a larger tool to make less work.

I have a mended bad back too. I use hand trolleys and purchased a gripper that's 60cm long to grab items on the garage floor. A magnetic bowl for nuts and bolts when dismantling things and taught my little dog to pick up sticks!

Its teamwork.

Tony WK