Anxiety is becoming debilitating

[Manalishi]

Hello, first time poster here, been suffering from anxiety for around 6 weeks now, I haven't received a formal diagnosis yet, but I've arranged an appointment to set up a mental healthcare plan, and over the course of multiple GP and Emergency Room visits we've ruled out just about everything else. During the last week it seems to have gotten particularly bad, with my anxiety/panic attacks increasing in frequency, along with more occurrences of symptoms such as chest pain, and tingling in my extremities and around the base of my skull. Most recently, a new symptom has appeared which is giving me significant trouble sleeping. I'll go to bed, and then start to nod off, and then seconds later I'll get what feels like a massive adrenaline rush, and be completely unable to sleep, even when I was dead tired moments before.

Despite the all-clear from the ER and my GP, it's hard not to be scared when symptoms such as this appear, any help you folks can provide would be greatly appreciated.

[baet123]

Hey Mana,

Keeping a journal or a diary will be super beneficial. Writing down thoughts helps us identify patterns and regular thoughts and behaviours that are concurrent. Being aware of how we feel and possible triggers that bring on these feelings is a great step in the right direction.

Sorry that you are super anxious again as of late but I am sure there is nothing to worry about. Have you tried being more active, eating healthier and getting good sleep? This may assist you greatly.

If you have anxiety, you may also experience "white coat syndrome" so I am sure its nothing!

It will get better mate. Your only 22 and have your whole life ahead. Stay strong and positive and the best is yet to come.

Nick.

[Manalishi]

Update Time.

I went to my second session with my psychologist, and saw a GP (my regulars are on holiday atm) immediately afterward. The session went fairly well, got my DASS test results back and found out I scored in the "Extremely Sever" category for anxiety, and "Severe" for depression and stress (Not really surprising, but not especially encouraging either). The rest of the time mostly consisted of me rambling on about my personal history, including some of the more uncomfortable parts, which I'm glad I got out in the open. The subsequent GP visit helped to convince me that my symptoms are all anxiety related, and there's nothing to really fear with regards to physical health.

That's the good news, the bad news is that my anxiety has wreaked havoc on my life for the last week. (as you could probably tell from my last post!) Name an activity, be it sleep, eating dinner, or even something as simple as reading a book or playing a video game, and it has been rendered almost impossible to do at times by crippling anxiety (to say nothing of the problems its caused with my stomach!). Worse still, panic attacks are happening more frequently, with one happening on Thursday night, and 2(!!) happening this evening.

It's really begun to sink in at this point that this is here to stay, and I'll just have to learn to live with it. Thankfully my anxiety hasn't managed to disrupt my exercise, I'm still going out for at least a 30 minute walk every day which I'm quite proud of. With regards to medication, I think I definitely want to try it now, though I'll wait until my regular GP's back to get his blessing, and ask my psychologist for some recommendations first.

Life keeps throwing up walls, and I'll keep knocking them down.

Until next time, Manalishi out...

[baet123]

Hey Mana,

Great to hear from you again.

You are definitely taking steps in the right direction. Expressing yourself and getting things out in the open so that your professionals are aware of your condition and experiences is super important and it should be comforting and reassuring that your symptoms are anxiety related and not related to actual physical conditions.

Is there anything that happened last weekend that brought this on? Anything you did differently? Did you talk about the possibility of medication? I believe medication would greatly benefit your condition.

Pain is temporary. It will get better Mana and it is not "here to stay". Therapy and medication will improve your condition greatly and I would recommend starting medication ASAP aslong as your GP deems the use of medication applicable to your situation.

Keep knocking down the walls and we will be here as well as your GP and psychologist to knock down the walls with you if its more than a "one man job" 🙂

Look forward to hearing back from you and sense there is great change coming!

All the best,

Nick.

[Manalishi]

Oh yes, I discussed medication with my psychologist, but I want to wait for my regular GP to get back from holiday so I can keep them informed and get recommendations from them.

Not exactly sure what brought it on, maybe my dad coming back from holiday at the start of the week? He has a lot of annoying habits, and while I'm not sure if they're a trigger, they certainly don't help matters.

Feeling better today, still not 100%, but certainly better than the last few days.

[baet123]

Hey Mana,

Glad to hear your doing better today.

Very responsible of you and I believe its a good idea to wait for your regular GP as your regular GP will have a greater holistic understanding of your situation and will be able to provide you with medication that will be applicable to your situation. Medication will hopefully restore chemical imbalances and should have you feeling much, much better. This should greatly improve your quality of life and allow you to start living the life you deserve to be living.

When you are feeling super anxious and when your symptoms are extremely strong and prevalent, please take note of anything that has happened in your life or if anything has changed so that you can explain this to your psychologist and GP so they can gain a greater understanding of possible triggers and the like.

Have a great week Mana.

All the best,

Your friend, Nick.

[Manalishi]

After a fairly uneventful couple of days, (had an episode of depression yesterday, but that's about it) the anxiety's back with a vengeance. A panic attack struck early this evening, and I've been completely on edge since late this afternoon, with a few threatened panic attacks thrown in for good measure. Had to be talked down from calling an ambulance 20 minutes ago when I was convinced I was having a heart attack, and now I'm sitting here wondering how on earth I'll get any sleep tonight.

One thing I've noticed, though anxiety occurs throughout the day for me, the worst of it usually starts to occur around 4:30 to 6pm, when my dad gets home from work, though my anxiety began when he was unemployed and it occurred around the same time then, so I'm not sure how much of a trigger him getting home might be.

The anxiety's subsided for now, but I never know when it'll be back. Got another therapy session on Friday, but I need help now, I feel so trapped.

[baet123]

Hey Mana,

It seems as if your days are less eventful which is encouraging. Did anything happen that brought upon this anxiety? It could even be the smallest thing that you feel is insignificant.

You mention that your anxiety could possible be worsened when your father gets home. How is your relationship with him? Has this always been the case that you experience anxiety around him?

Let us know how your session goes today. Please inform your therapist of everything that has occurred over the past few days.

Nick.

[Manalishi]

Hey Nick,

The session today went well, I told my psych about the panic attacks etc. I'd experienced over the last few days, and she started introducing me to CBT techniques and gave me a worksheet to do at home to get a better idea of what's happening.

As for my father, we don't have the worst relationship, he's never abused me or anything, it's just that he's... incompetent? (feels cruel using that term, but I can't think of a better one atm) He does seem to understand what I'm going through, and tries his best to support me, but as I mentioned above, he can be very annoying sometimes (very noisy, constantly burping, farting etc. with no regard for others around him), and has a tendency to not listen to or forget a lot of things I tell him (he has Asperger's Syndrome, so it's not that surprising), which can make him very frustrating to deal with at times.

Another thing to consider is that I often write these posts while I'm in the midst of, or recovering from, an attack of some kind, so I may have a tendency to make my situation sound worse than it is.

Keeping my head above water at the moment, and the therapy seems to be progressing at a good rate.

[baet123]

Hey Mana,

How is your weekend going? It has been so hot in Sydney. It is incredible and I hope that the summer ahead isn't going to be an absolute stinker!

It seems your psychologist is providing you with a lot of good and practical information and treatment methods/intervention techniques which you can do at home and improve your mindfulness and thoughtfulness.

It seems like you believe that your father is unable or doesn't understand how you feel and although he knows you are struggling, he isn't doing a good job assisting your recovery and providing an environment that promotes your well-being? He is your father and I am sure he loves you but it is important to also understand that he does have a few health conditions himself that may be affecting his behaviour so just be mindful of that 🙂 Try and be patient and respectful and ensure that he knows how your feeling and is aware of how his actions are affecting you.

Really happy to hear that your condition is improving. Keep hanging in there and maintaining regular GP visits and therapy sessions. There will be ups and downs and that is normal so don't be disheartened. Keep pushing. Your doing a fantastic job and I believe you have a bright and happy future ahead.

Enjoy the weekend.

Nick.

[Manalishi]

The Rollercoaster Continues

3:30am as I type this, and a massive anxiety attack has just began to subside, this one had somewhat different symptoms than usual (chest felt... almost light rather than tense and tight, and a dull constant numbness in my jaw, combined with the usual throbbing muscles, dry mouth, and stabbing chest pain.), which really threw me off guard and sent my mind into a frenzy.

I've noticed that whenever I have anxious thoughts, e.g. of having a heart attack, I have a tendency to visualise the worst case scenario (usually me dying alone, in horrible pain, while desperately trying to call for aid), which can't help matters. I don't know how "natural" it is to do this when suffering from anxiety, but it's definitely worth bringing up at my next therapy session.

I have to laugh at the situation I find myself in, since earlier in the afternoon, I had another depressive episode, and there's something morbidly hilarious about spending a good chunk of the day feeling like you're a worthless bag of meat who deserves to die, then feeling terrified that you might die a few hours later.

Now that all the bad news is out of the way, a small bit of good news, I've got a job interview on Friday! Hopefully I can land it and get some much-needed financial independence.

Oh and don't worry too much about the remarks I made saying I deserve to die etc. Terrible thoughts like that occur infrequently and pass quickly. Nevertheless, they are concerning and I'll definitely be talking to my psychologist about them.

Hopefully you can decipher something out of the rambling mess I just wrote. Until next time, Manalishi out.