ANXIETY- how people view you

[white knight]

With anxiety we are so wrapped up in our misplaced energy we find difficulty in walking in another persons shoes, to view us warts and all.

I've stumbled on such a topic. You can read the full site if you google "11 Things People Don't Realize You Are Doing Because Of Your Anxiety"

Here is my summary of this great write up, most of it is paraphrased due to word limits but you'll get the picture. We as sufferers should try to visualize what others see with the effects of our illness. We might be suffering but so are others in that they are trying to work us out or walk away due to the effort needed.

1. Declining invites but you might want to go

The debilitating feeling of the date approaching, so overwhelming you cancel it

2. Obsessing over trivial things

An unintended word or a glance can upset your mood. Others would be confused that you are noticing such minute distractions

3. Go to bed late, wake up early

There is a cycle. Wake up early tired, over thinking things and mental exhaustion sends you back to bed.

4. In every situation, the worse scenario is you biggest thought

This is really the negative thought side of you. Everything is bad, your health, job etc the problems are magnified

5. Rewinding conversations in your head, over and over

You tend to say the wrong thing as you are anxious, so you rewind to examine if you said something wrong. Often you haven't said anything wrong but your mind haunts you of the possibility

6. When someone shows concern for you, you become more concerned about ...you

Means if you are not well and it becomes noticeable then you must be worse than what even you thought.

7. That you are to blame for not replying straight away

If someone doesn't reply immediately you cringe because you are anxious. Their attention could be diverted or are bad communicators.

8. Freaking out when the future is talked about

You hide from the future as the present is difficult enough to deal with whereas others are excited about it

9. Comparing others success at the same age

You see others as successful. You aren't envious just worried why you have reached such sstandard

10. You punish yourself over common mistakes that humans make

All the while others allow it to slide as they accept its natural

11. Too exhausted mentally and physically to get out of bed

Anxiety burns energy to the point where you stay in bed unable to find the strength to rise.

Thanks. Tony WK

[Croix]

Please excuse me Tony whilst I talk to Shannon21,

Dear Shannon21~

It's great that you thought to reach out here to the Forum. As someone who has had chronic anxiety - along with other matters - for a very long time I think it was brave thing to do. If it was me in your shoes I'd know even before I posted what the effect on me would be - sleeplessness, maybe panic attacks, worry over posting, its effects, how I'd appear - even if I'd get any answers.

Well this should be one hassle less. Welcome. Here are lots of people that have been in the same situation and want to help you.

Anxiety is an illness, the same as any other and needs to be regarded in the same way. It is not a personal weakness or character defect, it is just something that strikes. Mine came from a specific cause. I don't know how or why yours started and kept going. Nobody who understands illness could possibly think less of you because of it - any more than a broken leg.

My wife understood when she was told, in fact it came as a relief to her to know my behavior was the result of illness, and that she had not been either the cause, or making things worse. She was my greatest support.

Do you have people that care about you? Is there anyone in particular you think might be someone you can talk to? - (Lets leave work out of it just for the moment).

You do not mention being treated, though you've had the condition for a very long time. You also say it is now getting worse to the point where it is noticeable.

Would you like to say what some of the symptoms are for you and which ones are getting worse? Also are there particular things that set it off? Which ones do you feel people are now noticing?

If you are not being treated, and are like me, you do need to go to your doctor and ask for help. I've found I needed to set things out on paper at my leisure first and then go though them with the doctor in a long consultation. He may give you a health plan with meds, visits to a psychologist and therapy.

Anxiety is treatable and can respond well.

I'd like to ask you a favor. This is a general thread and I think you would be better off in one of your own - more people see it that way.

Would you like to make your own thread here in the Anxiety section of the Forum and post more about yourself and what's happening?

You will be met with understanding

While you are at it you might like to check out The Facts menu above and also other similar people's threads.

Thanks

Croix

[white knight]

Hi Shannon

Yes writing your own new thread.

You need to be careful with expectations of those without anxiety. People cant see it, they cant connect your anxiety to your behaviour and they frankly, in their mind, cant spend the necessary time and empathy to help.

This is why we flock together because we are birds of a feather.

On the other hand there will be occasions when you feel its right to expose your issues. Do so without talking too long about it. After all there is not much they can do to help.

If they dont understand thats ok. If they abuse you tgen thats not ok. Google

Topic: so what are their mental illnesses?- beyondblue

Tony WK

[blondguy]

Hi TonyWK

I can relate to # 1

1. Declining invites but you might want to go
The debilitating feeling of the date approaching, so overwhelming you cancel it

That is another great point. I havent had anxiety attacks for about 20 years.

Anticipatory anxiety (of an upcoming event or date) can be a pain in the rump. Frequent counseling has helped a lot but since anxiety is partially chemically based, I wouldnt be surprised if I had some 'scarring' after working so long to minimize the day to day pain of this awful disorder as well as I have

Great thread TonyWK

Paul

[white knight]

Hi Paul

That mental scarring was told to me once that it could be ptsd. Who knows, l never pursued it.

Other effects caused by medications and stress is fear of schedules. The need to feel free daily rather than appointments approaching. Although alarms on my mobile have helped.

The goals l had some years ago was 1. Remain functional at all costs. Being admitted to a hospital was not on my agenda. This meant lifestyle changes. Country living for example. 2. Research. Nightly I'd read internet articles, it meant discarding some rubbush but overall I benefitted 3. I would never under estimate my conditions and their ability to return quickly 4. Get my meds stable. And so on.

This is why I promote self help as being as important as any other treatments.

Recovery is a chain. Some links are thin like self help, others thick like psychiatric care and meds. The thin links are as important as thick links as they hold all others together. A full recovery chain can eventually lift ones spirits up from the well of mental illness to the sunshine where we can smile and relax..

Tony WK