Hello 1979_lou & welcome.
There are many people who have come to BB with their difficulties with anxiety. Look around in the Anxiety section, where you posted this discussion & I'm sure you can discover many ways people use to manage their anxiety.
Also there are discussions in Caring for Myself and Others.
From my own history, I have learned I manage best when I take time to reflect, maybe I write, or talk to someone, & think about the things I'm anxious about & if there is anything I can do to help solve the problem, or who to talk to about the problem I'm worrying about, & see what suggestions they can offer. If it's early enough in the day, a weekday perhaps, I can phone for answers to questions, which would help to give me the idea I'm moving towards solving the problem.
That's fine for practicle problems that need sorting.
Sometimes, I am aware my anxiety isn't about any practical problem. It could relate to a fear I might have about something happening or even something that might not happen, too.some of these things are out of my control. That can make me feel anxious. What can I do? I always ask myself that question.
I also ask myself how likely is it that the fear I have, will actually happen?
Sometimes I need to take a deep breath, summon some courage, lift my head up, as if to face the fear & anxiety about it & go on anyway. Letting myself feel the fear & doing what I need to do anyway. It can be jolly hard, but with practice, it's getting easier. I am learning I can do more than I think I can.
One thing I am anxious about is how people will respond to me when I speak up & ask for what I need. Logically, if I speak up & they say 'no' & I don't have my needs met, then I haven't lost anything. If I don't speak up I still have not lost anything. I simply woun't know what they might have said. Maybe they might have said 'yes'. If they say 'no', I will feel disappointed, maybe that they didn't care, maybe I didn't ask 'properly', (Whatever that means), or maybe I feel I am asking 'too much'. I'm still working on how I feel, trying to not blame myself & being down on myself, but at least, I know I can live with these feelings & continue to learn from my experiences.
You do ask a big question. I could say more. Maybe that's enough to go on with, though, to give you something to think about.
Oh, I also think, observing yourself & what happens when you feel anxious, & deliberately, firstly, calming your own breathing, taking slow & deep breaths really helps your entire body settle down.
Hugzies
mmMekitty
