Anxiety and Swallowing Difficulities

[TheWayfarer]

Hey everyone,

My mental health really went off the rails at the end of last year where I had a massive choking incident. I was lying down eating chocolate (it was the holidays, but I learned now not to do that ever again) and a few seconds later I felt like I was suffocating.Then I had another choking incident only a week later - and after that... everything changed.

I couldn't eat or drink anything. The sight of food and drink alone would send shivers down my spine and I'd internally panic even contemplating on trying to consume it - getting flashbacks and visualising that I'd end up choking like I did in the past. I went to my GP and he prescribed be reflux medication, thinking it wasn't a big issue (it had hurt when I did manage to swallow something) and it was only meant to be used as a precaution to hopefully ensure I didn't get any severe oesophageal issues in the future with my repetitive vomitting). But try as I did, the thought of swallowing anything made me incredibly nervous.

It got so bad, it came to some weeks where i didn't have anything but water. My body ached, my head felt dizzy and my life just turned out for the worst. I couldn't work, I couldn't leave the house and I couldn't see anyone apart from medical professionals. Everytime I swallowed it'd be painful and I'd be paralysed by my anxiety for hours before even contemplating on having anything to eat or drink.

Fast forward to now, I did all the tests (barium swallows, gastroscopies, had a tube down my nose to check my throat just to make sure nothing physical is obstructing) and then after that got my diagnosis for health anxiety.

I've been tested so much - I've lost 30kg, in a constant state of fatigue and I missed a lifetime opportunity to go on holidays with my friend crippled by the fact that I can't even swallow without thinking I'm going to choke or aspirate food/liquids (have food or liquid go down the lungs). My parents- who I live with work so hard and they are quite old and sick... I feel like I've been a burden to because I haven't been able to work and financially help out. We rent, but any point our tenants might raise the prices due and we could end up being homeless.

I get chest pains, struggle to breathe and I'm constantly at medical appointments, psychologist or at the ED, scared my health is deteriorating - and I get a feeling they are all getting sick of me at this point because I haven't been improving and coming back with more and more concerns.

Thanks for listening.

[TheWayfarer]

Hi Jessee,

I am okay now. I still have really big issues with swallowing certain foods (particularly big, chewy ones). I don't go and see all the specialists anymore apart from a psychologist, dietician, my GP and a physio (that's a separate issue from the swallowing). I actually agree, I was referred to a speech pathologist after seeing my gastroenterologist when the diagnosis was somewhat clear (there was an unusual abnormality, but it was alright) from it being an oesophageal problem, however it was important to rule that out just in case it was.

The speech pathologist observed my swallowing reflex to ensure there were no abnormalities since the ENT didn't see any. There weren't any, but because I hadn't eaten solids in so long, I was spending my sessions with the speech pathologists learning how to eat again. My anxiety stemmed from fears of aspiration and pneumonia which didn't help because my anxiety was extremely psychosomatic, so I had extreme chest pains and body aches all over.

It's important to know whether it is anxiety related or not (mine was a mix of both physical and psychological) and tackle it from there. Find where and how the anxiety is triggered. If it was something like mine, if you have someone close to you like a family, friend, carer, or any supports - let them know and sit down with you to try eating solids again. Let them assure you that you're in safe hands and they are there for you no matter what happens.

A close friend in the past used to do it for me. And I'm really grateful that he did, because I felt really safe when he did.

Please take care, and let us know how you go. It's a big challenge, but you can do it.

[Louj]

I’m so sorry your going through this how herendous. I’m struggling with the swallowing thing ATM, I’ve lost 3kg in 2 weeks and I’m not even hungry anymore. I force myself to eat, and it takes forever, every mouthful I swallow scares the heck out of me. I’ve just started some anti anxiety medications so hoping that helps xx