Anxiety and PTSD from consumption of drugs

[Margot265]

Hi everyone, this is the first time I am posting. I have a history of anxiety during school, which led me to have social anxiety disorder and became very self conscious about my appearance. I tend to feel embarrased for flushed when people talk to me and constantly think my face is going red (sometimes it isn’t even). However, as some do , like myself, stupidly took illicit substances to make me feel invincible. Or make this embarrased anxious feeling go away and like nothing will let me down. However I have only taken them 6 times approximately over 2 years. 1 year ago I was peer pressured and in a horrible situation that led me to consume substances when I was intoxicated and this let me to overdose and go to hospital. I took an illicit substance recently at a party about 2 months and since then have regretted it. I’m not sure why I do it even though I have had negative experiences each time from consuming them. I have started to feel anxious before I go to sleep and my panic attacks have increased and sometimes I feel like I’m going to die. I link the feeling of panic to when I had consumed drugs as the same feeling as each time I freaked out when I did it and sweated profusely and couldn’t breathe. Each time I had taken a drug I regretted it, I’m not sure why I do it and I’m not sure if my panic attacks are like PTSD. I constantly feel like I have ruined my body from consuming drugs a couple of times and think my brain is ruined. I know these may be thoughts but please let me know if anyone has had simialr experiences or willing to help 🙂

[Ggrand]

Hello Margot,

A very caring and warm welcome to the forums...I am very sorry you have waited so long for a reply...

Im sorry your struggling so much with your anxiety..

I have never done drugs, so maybe I am not the right person to advise you...

I do blush a lot and have done all my life, it’s something that I don’t worry about anymore as I’m elderly now..But I think I read somewhere here that there are meds you can get to help stop the blushing...

I am a person that with peer pressure I usually go along with them..I find it extremely hard to say no to anyone, even if it’s detrimental to my health...I am seeing a psychologist/social worker who is helping me to understand the importance of being able to have my own choice and follow it through..

Maybe, it might be a good idea if you could set up a long appointment and talk to your Dr. about what your going through as well as your fears and thoughts..Drs. Dr. Can set up and organise a mental health care plan, so you can talk to a professional....maybe deep down inside you, you have a fear of saying no, which makes it hard for you to commit yourself to the choices you know that are right for you...

I hope someone who has lived experience with drugs will come in and chat to you some more...

My kindest and best wishes dear Margot...Please Talk here any time your feeling up to it....We are here for you..and will try our best to support you as much as we can..

Grandy..

[Guest_1643]

hey margot

how are you doing? i can relate to so much of your story. I've taken substances and then obsessed over wether they did damage to me. You're not alone.
I was wandering if you have heard about body dysmorphia?

[Margot265]

Hi there no I have not! What is it exactly ? Also sorry for the late reply! Sadly I am still feeling this way about myself. Like I got my uni results back and I’m really happy with them. I feel like my cycle of thoughts hover at night mostly and the flashbacks of when I did those drugs still remain sadly. I have not talked to a psych so I might have to before uni next year 🙂

[Margot265]

Hi there! I’m very sorry for such a late reply! It is those peer pressure situations! I find it so hard to say no and my whole life have just wanted to “fit in”. I was bullied a heap at school and my previous uni degree which to some extent made me change courses. Sadly anxiety has followed me throughout the years and it is hard to escape this gloomy shadow. I spoke to my doc today but I may need to get a referral to a psych just to help clear my mind and to stop my diversity of thoughts racing through my mind, thanks so much for your help tho. I have tried beta blockers in the past which had helped stop my heart from racing heaps. Even tho I feel I’m a hypochondriac I might feel like getting my heart checked out jsut to ease my mind as I feel like the drugs have caused more anxiety but just hoping it hasn’t been detrimental to my health

[Guest_1643]

Hey Margot - when u mentioned obsessions about appearance I thought about body dysmorphia

It's when someone becomes obsessed with a perceived flaw in their appearance, on their face or body, and becomes self-conscious about it, sometimes to the point of having social anxiety and limiting social interaction because of it. So it affects their life in a way - for some ppl it could be something on their face for others it could be their weight or body shape which they dislike so much they become self-concious. I think it's more common than documented and also has been increased with social media, where ppl want to look in ways that are unrealistic.

There might be some info online about anxiety and body image that could help... x