Anxiety and OCD thought patterns leading to self destruction

[DomM]

Was Curious if anyone else feels their anxiety/ OCD thought patterns make them feel like they are a bad person. I am constantly feeling like I have done something wrong, acted in a bad manner, worrying people hate me, self destructing my relationships, and making up scenarios that never happened. I was wondering who else has these types of experiences and how they work through them? As it appears to most people "nothing" is wrong with me, but I am destroying myself on the inside with thoughts and now thoughts of things I know I did not do but keep questioning it anyways. Thanks in advance for any advice.

[james1]

Hello DomM,

Many of us also have similar thoughts. I don't know whether it's anxiety/OCD, but whatever it is, it is certainly difficult to cope with.

For me, I've just learnt to stop my thoughts. It's quite difficult to get used to because we normally just vocalise or think our thoughts, but it's really important to stop the negative thoughts about yourself before they start to spiral. Some people suggest things like distractions or trying to counter the negative thoughts with a positive or reasoning why they're wrong, but that never helped me as there was no logic to it anyway. So I just didn't think them at all.

In fact, I can't even come up with an example of a bad thought right now because I've not let myself put "I am" in the same sentence as something demeaning!

I realise that might be hard to do, but it did take me the better part of a very dedicated year of twice a week psych sessions so it's certainly a long term solution rather than a short term.

Do you mind if I ask if you currently see any doctors? Having someone support you through this is very important.

James

[DomM]

Thanks for the reply James. As you said, I often feel that there is no logic to what I’m thinking; so a lot of suggestions psychs have given me have not helped and I’ve yet to find one I connect with.

So unfortunately, I have learned to manage my GAD to be high functioning but it’s the recent false memories and paranoia that everyone hates me. I’ve tried to reach out to friends to help me get out of my apt when this happens but I just don’t have the strongest support system or any health care professional I trust.

Im happy to hear you’ve learned to deal with it, it gives me some hope but also very happy for you, that you don’t have to feel that way anymore.

[james1]

Hello Dom,

Sorry to hear you haven't found a health care professional you can trust and that you don't feel like your circle of friends are enough. It can often take a while to build up our support network.

Do you know what it is you are looking for in a professional doctor? That's the question I found myself asking after a few ones I just didn't get along with.

James