Hello mum.with.four, you sound so exhausted, and it's no wonder. Being a mum to four young children is a challenge at the best of times, let alone when there are arguments and fights happening around the clock. It really does sound from your post as if you don't have a lot of support, or at least you don't feel like you do.
You mention your husband, but only in passing when you mentioned that your parents are worried. Perhaps they are concerned that you aren't getting enough support either? This conversation could be a good step towards getting everything on the table and coming up with some plans for getting through the next little bit with everyone helping. They say it takes a village to raise a child, it certainly shouldn't be all on your shoulders.
From your post it seems like you feel over-burdened, that you have the responsibility of looking after four children, and you need to be working, and worrying about finances...and on top of all that juggling of responsibilities, you feel ashamed that your emotions sometimes get the better of you and you take time out to cool down. You are doing your best in what sounds like a very challenging situation.
When life seems like an overwhelmning, complicated mess, sometimes the best place to start is with yourself and acknowledging that things need to change and you need help. You've already taken that step now.
The other thing that can help when feeling overwhelmed with anxiety is to reduce the size of the problem to try and get your head around it. For example, think about just this morning. What would you need to happen to get through to lunchtime feeling like you've coped? What would a good morning look like? I hope you will come back and post again.
