Anxiety: a surprise

[Bec2014]

Hi All,

Reading through these forums has been a very enlightening experience - the support that's out there and the incredible work Beyond Blue do to connect these support networks is to be commended. It compelled me to feel comfortable enough to share my story. 

I was only very recently diagnosed with anxiety, an illness that, up until the diagnosis, I didn't fully understand. I was certainly one of those people who dismissed anxiety as something that can instantly be cured with a good diet, exercise, and a smile. I am surprised by how ignorant I was. 

One year ago I packed up life in Sydney with my fiancee and headed overseas. On paper, life is great: earning decent money in a job in the travel industry, travelling around Europe and the Middle East often and looking forward to planning a wedding. So why am I not happy? 

The panic attacks truly made themselves known about six months ago. I work with a very trying team of men who, whether intentionally or not, make me feel excluded and inadequate which, in turn, has meant that I have become recluse and unwilling to 'grow a pair' and speak up. My shyness and slight social anxiety that I was trying to overcome became more pronounced and there are days when I simply cannot get out of bed. The most bizarre thing is that I am aware that this behaviour is silly. I am aware that I am capable at my job and far more if I allowed myself to be more confident. I am aware I have a fabulous support network of friends and family, and my situation is a lot better than many others. I am aware that my friends are constantly reminding me that I am "living the dream." 

But I am surprised by how much anxiety changes this perception in my head. I am surprised by how long it took me to work up the courage to admit that my constant state of sadness, dissatisfaction and panic attacks were something serious and to see a doctor about it. I am surprised that I was diagnosed and given medication to regulate and lift my mood. I am surprised by how long it is taking me to go back to actually see a therapist to discuss ways to 'treat' me in more detail. 

I doubt I am alone in my thoughts, so I ask: what immediate 'self-help' exercises you undertake to manage your anxiety and lift your confidence on a day-to-day basis? How did you feel after your first session with a professional? Any advice you have would be helpful. 

Thank you,      

Bec

[white knight]

Hi Bec, welcome to Beyond Blue forums

A well written post.  I'd like to say a few things.

Firstly most mental illness including anxiety is a life time of management rather than cure. Each has their own medication needs and treatments. Now, lets talk about what I know about anxiety. And we are sufferers here not medical professionals.

I have anxiety that peaked in 1987 when at work and my honour was compromised. I got my first panic attack and went to my GP. What followed was - 12 years of medication ceasing in 1999 and self help exercises that continue to this day. I can say that my anxiety has lessened to a point whereby I'm almost cured of it about 4 years ago. Such has been the effect of exercises but it could also be a case of becoming more relaxed through aging eg as my financial pressures have eased etc.

In your case anxiety growing due to things like misogyny in the workplace reminds me of my therapist in 1987 that gave me a very good word of advice "Tony, are you being realistic".  Discrimination although wrong in its intent, is everywhere and I dont endorse it however, we have to accept that it will exist and deal with it internally to move forward. If we fight it we will be in conflict daily. We have to adapt and accept that our black and white minds dont fit in with a grey world. We have to shade our white and lighten our dark to survive. Being the only female in a group is little different than having bipolar in a car club and being ostracised. That is my situation in recent times, regardless of all the advertising, awareness etc. As my therapist told me also "Tony, when are you going to stop two things....trying to save the world and trying to reinvent the wheel".

My daily exercises include deep breathing and progressive muscle tensioning. The latter I do prior to sleeping when lying in bed. Begin at your toes by tensioning up those muscles and work your way up. Tension muscles for 15 seconds at a time. At the end after you tension up your face muscles tension up every muscle in your body. Done correctly it will lower your heart rate and even an 'out of body experience" can occur (I had one in 27 years lol) - very good feeling.

See your GP and get some help.  Take care

Tony WK.