Agoraphobia?

[Cas7]

A few years ago I went to Africa for a month and had a really hard time-- nothing actually happened, but I felt isolated and alone and so low that I just didn't know what to do with myself. When I came home I developed this irrational fear of travel, at first anywhere outside of my home state, though I've started to be able to comprehend other countries and states now. I always just described myself as an intensely associative person because it doesn't take me more than one or two bad emotional times to associate negative emotions with certain places or people. In the last year though it's gotten worse, to the point where sometimes I hit a spiral and I can't move. The best I can describe it is that it's like all the brakes are going on in my head and I just need to stay exactly where I am and not think and not move and just try to feel okay. Nowhere feels safe for me right now. I have beautiful friends and family and all of them are scary, because nothing seems to ease this insane anxiety and depression. I've struggled with depression and anxiety my whole life, but this is something else and it's getting worse. I wake up and I'm scared. I don't go home because my home is not an emotionally safe space. I don't really feel like I have a home, just because my brain won't let me. I can't hold down a job because I associate it with negative emotions and my most recent job I had to leave because I kept almost having panic attacks at the idea that I had to stay in that space where I didn't feel safe for a few hours. I've started university and I'm scared I'm going to drop out because the campus has started to scare me. My doctor said something about 'mild agoraphobia' and it was the first time I'd ever heard of it outside an extreme 'scared of outside' kind of way. I don't know what to think, but I'm looking for anything and everything to try and take a step in the right direction. Please help.

[Croix]

Dear Cas~

Thank you for trusting us with your message. It's a good thing to do. Many find that first post a worrying thing. Just reaching out deserves praise for courage and initiative. Here are people that will have faced the same as you and been able to cope.

I have, among other things, chronic anxiety, which manifests itself in similar ways though with a slightly different emphasis. When my condition was at its worst panic attacks and an inability or strong reluctance to do certain things, or stress over what might happen took me over.

From what you say two things tend to emerge. Firstly there seems to be a downward trend, and secondly your symptoms remind me of mine in their severity.

Although you have seen a doctor being told you have 'mild agoraphobia' is not that helpful. Doctors, like everything in life, come in all shapes and sizes and with varying degrees of ability. Sometimes one has to actively find the right one.

May I suggest what I'd do in your situation?

Firstly quickly read the information above in The Facts menu on anxiety and depression, causes, symptoms and treatments. You may also like to browse this Forum for people in similar situations.

Secondly write down how you are feeling, what is affecting you, what it does, your current situation and your past history. Don't leave anything out, even if frightening or embarrassing, and then, in a long consultation, go though it with your doctor. Ask to be tested for theses conditions and see what the outcome is.

I say write it all down because I found I was unable to give a complete concise account face-to-face and had to have it all down at my leisure. I then handed the paper over. This helped greatly.

Thirdly go to your uni counselors/mental health facility and explain the situation. This can often prevent academic penalties and help with deadlines. They may require something from a doctor, I don't know.

The good new is that most anxiety or depression related illness respond well to treatment. Also you mention beautiful family and friends. I found such is gold, for me quite essential.

Please post again and say how you are going. You will be met with understanding,

Croix

[roxie15]

Hi!!

So every time I read/hear about any killing crimes, I feel paranoid and anxious. I try hard to distract myself by work or friends, it hardly works. Although the anxiousness fades away in like 3 days but my paranoia stays for weeks. Since past month I am living under a fear that something might happen while I am not on my guards. And there are times when I do not feel safe even in my own house. But the feeling is not constant, it usually comes when I am walking on the streets at night or when I suddenly realize that the world is filled with bad and insensitive people. There are time when I have trouble sleeping and I am always on alert. I know this is sounds stupid (because it is possible that everybody goes through that phase)and is not an extreme case but it can be stressful sometimes. I am considering of learning self defense but if you have any other advice on how i can calm my self down, please let me know?

Thanks!!

Roxie