Advice needed for progressing in therapy

[WJD]

Hi

I have fairly severe social anxiety and have been going to therapy for treatment in the last two months. I've got to the point where i'm now being strongly encouraged to put myself in the centre of attention in public places (eg. doing star jumps in the middle of shopping centres) so I can realise that no harm comes from peoples judgement. The problem is I don't feel like i'm yet capable of achieving this. It literally feels like something i'm incapable to, do despite knowing it's my thoughts that create these emotions that prevent me from doing it.

My question is, was there ever a point in therapy where you felt like you just hit a wall and couldn't progress any further? I feel like i've hit that point but I don't wont to quit as it's an issue I need to confront. What did you's do to get though these points in therapy? Up to this point I have made a small but noticeable amount of progress but it now feels like i've just been thrown strait into the deep end.

[geoff]

hello WJD, a very good question which I'm sure is so relevant to many people browsing the site.
One thing you can't do straight away is go out and do cartwheels in the shopping centre, even though your counselling has been done by CBT, DBT, which is dialectical behavior therapy, or ACT, acceptance and commitment therapy, still doesn't mean that it's going to be easy, it has to be done slowly, it's a gradual process, where you learn to build up your strength.
There maybe times when you become frightened and feel as though you have regressed, that's part of learning to gain your strength, and there will be different levels to conquer, just like climbing a ladder, but don't feel as though you haven't achieved what you set out to do, it will come slowly, but there maybe a limit as to how far you go, such as standing up in front of an audience.
Many times I felt as though nothing was working, that's where you have to raise this point with your therapist, then another approach by them will figure out why.
If you feel as though you're improving then that's great news just take it at your own pace.
See if you can walk through a street/shopping area where you don't know anyone, and approach this by going through a shopping centre close to you, but keep it short. Geoff.

[Croix]

Dear WJD~

I'd like to join Geoff in welcoming you here. I'm also a little surprised about the star jumps.

Actually I'd like to know a little more before saying much. My understanding of most therapy is that it uses an increment approach that gradually makes one used to things little by little.

Have you in fact had this sort of approach, perhaps starting with exposure just by quietly visiting perhaps one shop in a center, then departing, followed another time by a bit more activity?

Geoff's advice is good. If you have elements of your therapy that you are unhappy with then you should talk it over with the therapist. It is no good there being unrealistic expectations of what you can manage.

Now to answer your question directly. There will be occasion when you feel you have reached a brick wall, after all therapy is no easy thing (I was tempted to say "no walk in the park" 🙂 It is up to you and you therapist together to overcome these obstacles, a common thing.

We'd like it very much if you came back and said how you are going.

Croix

[WJD]

When I first started my therapist originally said he would use that kind of approach and up till my most recent session that was the case, but most of the tasks he set were communication related such as using eye contact when someone is communicating with me, so this new task he set felt completely out of nowhere as it feels way above of what i'm currently capable of.

[Croix]

Dear WJD~

I get what you are saying, perhaps if he gives you a set of tasks, starting with one that is not that confronting, working up to hard. Then leave it to you to see how far up the list you can get before next time. Being able to pace yourself and feel in control of the situation can only help.

Do you think this might be practical?

Croix

[WJD]

It turns out my psychiatrist was setting a task that he knew I wasn't capable of to see how I responded to it (I guess it's a way to measure how far i've come since I first started). He's now set a much more achievable task for me to complete. Didn't need to bring it up as he explained it to me straight away but thanks for the advice anyway.

[Croix]

Dear WJD~

Um, OK, I think I'd feel like a lab rat undergoing an experiment like that. I'm pleased he at least recognized it was impossible at the moment.

Let's hope it goes a bit smoother form now on.

I hope to hear again how you get on

Croix