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Adult Seperation Anxiety
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Hi, I feel a bit odd posting this but I’m kinda desperate for support. I left my family home earlier this year and moved a few hours away for my dream job. I love the job but I’m really struggling with being alone, I’m suffering with really bad anxiety and I struggle. I’m pushing through but I’ve had to go on anti-anxiety medication and I’m seriously wondering if this is all worth it. We had a bit of bad news this year with family health and I think some childhood trauma has also hit me too.
Has anyone else struggled with the life adjustment of moving away? I live alone as well so when I’m having an anxiety attack at home it’s even worse.
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Hi Mudball98,
Welcome to the forums and thank you for reaching out to us.
I am sorry to hear that you are struggling at the moment.
I guess my first question needs to be, are you talking about this with anyone? A friend, family member or counsellor? Have you always had this type of anxiety or has it only started since you moved?
I live alone and moved to a town where I knew no one and to a large degree still don't other than my neighbours.
That is not a problem for me as I am ok being in my own company. I would be interested to hear if you have any idea why living alone concerns you do much. It's great that you enjoy your job, dream jobs don't come along everyday so don't be too hasty to think that perhaps it's not worth it. Is it possible you are in this situation to learn more about yourself?
Please continue this conversation if you feel comfortable doing so.
Take care,
indigo
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I'm really sorry you're feeling this way. Moving away for a job is a huge adjustment, and it's understandable to feel anxious and lonely. It’s good that you’re seeking help with medication, but it might also help to talk to a therapist about your anxiety and childhood trauma.
Joining local groups or clubs can also help you meet new people and feel less isolated. Remember, it's okay to ask for support from friends or family when you need it.
You're not alone in feeling this way, and things can get better with time and support.
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Thank you for replying it means so much, sorry I haven’t replied sooner. Yes I have a psychologist that I see and my GP recently put me on an increased medication dose. I have had anxiety before but it’s always been over something I can completely control ie not walking at night etc: The worst part is waking up in the night and feeling the anxiety so physically but being alone, it’s a pretty lonely place to be.
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Hi again,
I am so glad you have professional support, that's really important.
I have a few things I can suggest that may help you.
Have you considered shared accommodation? It can be tricky finding the right person but it may be worth trying so you don't feel so alone.
There are 2 apps that I haven't used myself but have heard good feedback - Smiling Mind and Beyond Now - these would be something you could use to help you when you are having an anxiety attack.
There is also a thread that many community members have contributed to that may give you some tips which you can find here
https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/self-help-tips-for-managing-anxiety/td-p/50482
I have been dealing with dysthymia and major depression since my teens (now in my 60s). I was not diagnosed until I was in my 40s and although I had about 10 years of talk therapy with a social worker that helped immensely, I still haven't completely managed to get on top of it.
I recently started seeing a psychotherapist who does somatic therapy and now realise that talking is only part of the answer. When we have a traumatic experience (big or small), if we are unable to complete the cycle for whatever reason, the emotions become trapped in the body and will keep rising to the surface to be released.
I am wondering if this may be the reason you are feeling the anxiety more now than in the past went you were not alone. It sounds like your body is crying out to you to release the trapped emotions. I don't know what your challenges have been or what your triggers are, but this may be something to consider. Somatic Therapy includes various types - Somatic Experiencing - EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique) also known as Tapping - EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitisation and Reprogramming). Can I suggest having a talk with your therapist about the possibility of this type of therapy being helpful to you.
I hope some of this may be of help and am happy to continue the conversation with you.
Take care of yourself,
indigo
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Hello,
I completely agree with you, I had a somewhat challenging childhood and I have had lots of surgeries so I do think it’s my body finally saying enough is enough and I need to process. I’ll chat to my psychologist about those therapies thank you 🙏
I need to learn to also not fight with the anxious feelings because it definitely makes things so much worse when you try to battle the symptoms.