Hi again,
I am so glad you have professional support, that's really important.
I have a few things I can suggest that may help you.
Have you considered shared accommodation? It can be tricky finding the right person but it may be worth trying so you don't feel so alone.
There are 2 apps that I haven't used myself but have heard good feedback - Smiling Mind and Beyond Now - these would be something you could use to help you when you are having an anxiety attack.
There is also a thread that many community members have contributed to that may give you some tips which you can find here
https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/self-help-tips-for-managing-anxiety/td-p/50482
I have been dealing with dysthymia and major depression since my teens (now in my 60s). I was not diagnosed until I was in my 40s and although I had about 10 years of talk therapy with a social worker that helped immensely, I still haven't completely managed to get on top of it.
I recently started seeing a psychotherapist who does somatic therapy and now realise that talking is only part of the answer. When we have a traumatic experience (big or small), if we are unable to complete the cycle for whatever reason, the emotions become trapped in the body and will keep rising to the surface to be released.
I am wondering if this may be the reason you are feeling the anxiety more now than in the past went you were not alone. It sounds like your body is crying out to you to release the trapped emotions. I don't know what your challenges have been or what your triggers are, but this may be something to consider. Somatic Therapy includes various types - Somatic Experiencing - EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique) also known as Tapping - EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitisation and Reprogramming). Can I suggest having a talk with your therapist about the possibility of this type of therapy being helpful to you.
I hope some of this may be of help and am happy to continue the conversation with you.
Take care of yourself,
indigo
