A story of panic and anxiety

[guest149]

I know some of the rules here and I think mentioning places is not allowed but please let me tell my story with no editing.

I live in Albuquerque NM USA.  Last year, I drove to see a friend in Fort Smith, Arkansas 728 miles door to door, my house to his.  I drove on I-40 which passes through Oklahoma City, Oklahoma.  Dead center in tornado alley, the only place in the world and OKC is dead center in the path.  As I drove through Oklahoma City 550 miles from my home, I saw ominous clouds.  I drove about 10 miles east of OKC and had a total meltdown in my car, I truly don't think it was fear of tornadoes.  I was in my car in Arkansas in the middle of a tornado in 2011, trees flying everywhere, but not a bit scared.  Anyways, I pulled to the side of the road close to a truck stop, walked down a ravine,  sat on a big rock, held my dog, and cried for an hour, terrified out of my mind even though the clouds had dissipated.  This was the week after the Moore Oklahoma tornadoes of 2013. Moore is a suburb of OKC.  It destroyed the city.  Within 180 miles of my destination, I turned the car around and drove home.  1104 miles non stop.  Almost 24 hours. 

3 months ago, in July 2014 I drove the trip again. 728 miles to Fort Smith, Arkansas.  I was dead tired.  It was on a Friday.  The next day, I had an anxiety meltdown again (Saturday). Packed my stuff back in my car, said goodbye and drove back to Albuquerque.  They probably don't want me back thinking I must be crazy.  12 hours one way trip., over 1450 miles I drove so I could be back home and be in my "safe place".

I also had the same experience in 1990 when I paid an extra thousand dollars to fly home from Washington DC. cutting a "vacation" short 1 day because of panic.

When I get panic or a streak of anxiety (usually lasts about 5 days) I don't react like "text book" descriptions.  I get extremely nauseous, not like stomach flu nausea, (it's hard to describe) but it is definitely nausea.  I feel like I'm in a dream, detached from my body.  The nausea feeds the panic, and the panic feeds the nausea.  An excruciating vortex.  I don't get chest tightness, tingling arms, or all the other symptoms that send people to the hospital thinking they have a heart attack. 

I'm just throwing this out in the universe wondering if anyone experiences this weird behavior as a reaction to panic hoping I am not a freak, alone with this. "grounding" does not help when you are this far into a meltdown.

Thanks for listening (reading)

[white knight]

Hi Guest149, welcome here to beyond Blue downunder,

Sorry you havent had a reply. Sometimes questions are beyond our knowledge and are better aimed at expert in the medical profession.

I wish you well in your struggles to find out the cause of this condition which is serious enough for you to pursue it to the end.  Be brave. Often these things are fixed easier than you think with therapy and/or medication.

Take care Tony

[geoff]

dear Guest, isn't this great that you can post from the other side of the world, and that you can access BB, I know it's possible, so can you please advise us how on earth you knew about this site.

As a 60 year old I do know that we can communicate with people on skype as well as to people, because I was looking after an elderly chap and his sister was in America as well, but that was 5 or 6 years ago, but I could contact her.

Getting back to your problem, it seems as though you get homesick badly, and what you have experienced in feeling nausea and it is an awful feeling in the stomach, however there is medication that will help with this.

You say 'grounding' so does this mean when you are at home, however can I ask you if you ever feel this when you are home. Geoff.

[Pixie15]

Hi guest149,

Having read your post I am just wondering if you have investigated post traumatic stress disorder? Even though you managed your emotions at the time of being caught in the tornado it may have still affected you.

Also by grounding do you mean fixing your attention on something solid in the environment. That was recommended to me by a psychologist. Do you know what causes the anxiety attack to subside? Is it just being back at home or is than something else that happens?

Grateful.