Dear jl338,
Welcome to Beyond Blue and well done for reaching out.
So, as much as I want to offer you all the right words, and all the great advice, truth is, sometimes I feel that same way myself, as you described above. Some days I just don't want to face the day, and I listen to that silly part of my brain that tells me I'm not as good as everyone else.
But the truth is that that part of my brain is not always telling the truth! It's coming from a place of worry and 'F.E.AR.' - False Evidence Appearing Real. But the thing with fear is that most of the things we fear never actually come to pass. So the FALSE part of fear is exactly that; it's false, a lie, an untruth that has no real evidence ..... just the 'pictures' it creates in your mind. Because the thing to remember, about REAL fear, when it's really needed, is that unless something is right in front of you; as in you can see it (eg; fire), smell it it (eg; smoke), hear it (eg; something smashing or breaking), taste it (eg; a poison) or touch it (eg; hot stove or flame), then it's not real. There's NO reason to believe the FEAR - false evidence appearing real - and therefore react to something that is not even there in the first place.
Perhaps you could talk to a school counselor? Do you think that might help? After all, they would not be as close as your parents and would be able to help you look at things more objectively.
In the meantime, maybe you could also check out this link:
https://www.beyondblue.org.au/personal-best/pillar/supporting-yourself/four-tips-to-handle-social-anxiety-in-the-moment
Anyway, hope that helps at least a little. Take care. I'll be thinking of you. xo
