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School and social life

Community Member

Hi! I'm a 16 year old girl in year 11. Ever since I've started highschool, school was a major problem for me. It doesn't feel the same as primary. I've recently moved to a new school and it's killing me. No one wants to talk to me and I've been spending school alone. My mental health has been deteriorating and I don't think I can do school anymore. I was thinking about online school but I'm scared about my social life. I wanna be able to make friends, go out, study with people and talk. I've also been wondering about Tafe but i'm not capable as I'm not 17. I don't know what to do and It's been killing me everyday. I wanna be able to make friends and socialise since these are slowly my last years as a teenager, please give me advice.

4 Replies 4

white knight
Community Champion
Community Champion

Hi, welcome


The best advice I can muster for you Teddy is to be distracted from your loneliness.


This isnt very hard to do. Eg if you walk around during lunch or recess times and watch others chatting to each other having a great time then you will feel an outcast. But if you spend that time in the library or room whereby you are studying or researching cool stuff, you wont be focussing on the negatives of loneliness.


This distraction process/idea is a marvel, it has been a saving grace for me for decades especially relationship breakups when I've grieved for weeks on end.


Truly, try it.



Community Champion
Community Champion



Thank you for reaching out, we're happy to have you hear. I'm sorry to hear that you've been struggling, but I'm here to remind you that it's very normal for your age and that there are ways of either overcoming that loneliness or getting around it, whichever you feel resonates with you more.


It's been a little over half a decade ago that I was 16 myself, and I remember being in a very similar position to you socially. I had been at the same school the whole way through, however. But, I didn't really fit in with the majority, probably due to dissimilar interests and my shyness around people. 


Making friends is hard. Even as an adult, making and maintaining friendships is so tough to do, I find.


If there are any clubs or sporting groups you'd be interested in joining, this is a good way to surround yourself with people who may be similar to you. At the very least, it'll be an opportunity to be acknowledged by more people, which can be a pathway to making friendships. 


If you're able to, finding a part-time job outside of school can also help boost your mental health and wellbeing. That's one of the things that really helped me in high school, because it gave me the chance to see a social world that exists beyond the people I have class with everyday.


If you think online school may be good for you, look into it. With regards to your social life if you do choose to pursue online school, if you're not enjoying the social life that school offers, you may find it refreshing to move away from that environment. Similarly to getting a part-time job, there are clubs and groups outside of school that you can always join to keep your socialisation needs met during this time. If you'd feel up to it, you can always ask your teachers if they could see online school being a viable option for you, and how they'd recommend going about it. 


I hope this helps, and feel free to continue chatting with us. We're here to offer our support.


All the best, SB

HI SB and Teddyy


Thats a very good suggestion SB. I want to mention something that happened to my then 16yo daughter, she's now 34yo. 


At 16 she got a job on Friday nights at a local pizza shop. She didnt like that job but it gave her some extra money. Then we moved 30 minutes away to another smaller country town. I told her to apply for jobs. There was only 3 places in that town where they served food, 1 cafe, 1 restaurant and a service station. Rather than apply at those places after school she returned home and said "I didnt bother because my new friends at school said its pointless that I wont get a job there."  I told her to apply anyway and be more positive.


So she did and she got home one day a week later and told me she got 2 jobs one at the cafe and one at the restaurant. She worked at both for a few weeks then decided the restaurant was better so she worked there for a further 5 years, every weekend and during university. After that time she became a teacher and was shocked she paid cash for a new car.


So, never give up or someone else will get a job even those not advertised.



TonyWK, I like that story, that's so sweet. I'm always an advocate for getting a part-time job during school, provided it's a feasible option given homework and workload demands. But in general, part-time jobs offer not only a brilliant means of making new social connections but also giving you valuable life and social skills.