Heard horrifying news about my Ex-Girlfriend who i care about and still had feelings for.

[bennymate]

My Ex and i have been broken up for a year and all that time i was following strict NC (No Contact, when you completely block them out of your life). I am 19 and she is 20. We finally spoke after she reached out to me and i allowed the phone call, the news and information i heard about her life threw me into shock and trauma. She had a boyfriend that beat her, she got seriously into hard drugs (such as heroin and cocaine) and can't get off them, adding to this she took up a job as a stripper. This was a lot for me to handle as i had been struggling the entire year trying to get over her and then to hear all of this terrible news really shook me. In addition, i have mild jealousy issues and mood disorders such as OCD so it makes the whole ideal worse, i can't stop ruminating about the horrible things that would have happened to her in the past year and i often think this will scar me forever. The emotions i feel are Guilt, sadness and jealousy.

We dated for 1.5 years, she was my first girlfriend, my first love and we had a very intense relationship so seeing her like this is very very disheartening and makes me extremely sad. I wish i could help her but i can't and i had to block her again and im just still in a state of shock. I alerted my parents about it just so they understand what im going through. Please help 😕

[bennymate]

Hi Stephen,

Its been a while so pardon the late response, i hope you're still around and are doing ok in these trying times.

Thank you for sharing your story, its really hit me hard knowing what i went through 4 years ago. I feel as if sometimes you will just meet someone that can leave a really deep impression on you, good or bad... Whether its through emotional abuse, retroactive jealousy etc. I still think about that girl from my post every now and then, its nowhere near as painful as it used to be. Since, i travelled Europe and experienced life, it really helped!

The fact that in your particular circumstances it was your first relationship says a lot, it goes to show how powerful and even dangerous "first love" can be. Fantastic to hear about you jumping into a few hobbies and lifestyle changes, they absolutely help. Getting involved in groups whether its a local sporting club or church can make a world of difference.

We will both find peace, we deserve it and someone else will come a long that is just so much more special, you'll know it when it happens.

Hope you're well.

-B