My name is Ellie, I'm 16 years old and I've been suffering from severe emetophobia (which is a phobia of vomit, whether it be myself throwing up or watching others throw up) since I was about 9 years old. As long as I can remember I've never liked vomit, pretty much the same as everyone else. It wasn't until I was 9 and in school, we had a Christmas party where each student brought in food and we all ate and chatted. I had eaten a little too much and felt uncomfortably full, but not nauseous. One child had eaten too much and threw up. As soon as I saw that I felt an instant panic and started feeling sick myself. Although I didn't throw up I felt nauseous the whole day and my teacher wouldn't let me go home, therefore, worsening the anxiety. Ever since that day I've never let anyone who was sick near me (which I feel horrible about but can't help) I wash my hands all the time and carry around hand sanitiser, and more often than not suffer panic attacks if I feel I've done something that could possibly result in me throwing up. The worst part is my body's reaction to stress is to feel nauseous, so the more I panic, the more I feel nauseous. It's an evil cycle. I get these attacks at any time of day but they occur more in closed spaces where I can't get out eg. cars, buses, trains, concerts etc. It's really ruined my life. I don't feel comfortable eating in restaurants, I sometimes skip meals to avoid food. If anyone has any tips or ideas to help me it would be much appreciated. Thankyou.
