Dealing with self hatred

[Oblivious1303]

Hey guys, I just need a bit of support if, that's all good. Recently I've been going through a bit of self hatred, and a couple of days ago, my ex broke things off with me and now I'm stuck in a rut. I hate how I deal with things when I get emotional or upset, because I manage to take it out on the people I care about. And that's why she broke things off with me. That was the last thing I wanted, I hate what I've done and now it's gone to complete sh*t. I can't fix it, she wants nothing to do with me anymore but I want to keep trying to fix things. I don't know how to cope with this. I hate myself so much right now, I just don't know what to do. 😥

[GreenTea_Honey]

Hi Oblivious1303

Sorry to hear you're going through a rough time, these forums are a really good place to start dealing with it and coping. I've dealt with self-hatred myself before and it's awful, I'm sorry that you're experiencing it.

It's best to start dealing with it as early as you can. Have you thought about seeing a psychologist? Not only for self-loathing but the end of a relationship can be incredibly painful and it might help you to talk with someone. And you've mentioned that your emotions lead you to taking it out on the people you care about, a professional can work with you to find coping mechanisms and strategies that will help you with this. It can be a scary thing, but it's worth a try.

I think you've made a great step in joining these forums 🙂 There's a section on here for threads about relationships and there might be something in there that you could find helpful as well. Maybe have a browse.

And I don't know how recent your break up was but take a moment for yourself. Breakups are painful and can stir up some awful feelings. If how you respond to your emotions and anger was an issue in your relationship it might help you to start working through that. For you, your guilt, and your self-loathing. Self-loathing doesn't last forever and you've taken a really important step in starting to seek help.

I don't know the details of your relationship or your break up, but if you're feeling guilty it might help to apologise. It might help with some of the guilt your feeling. Breakups are hard on everyone, don't be too hard on yourself and take care of yourself.

This was a bit of a ramble but I hope at least some of it was helpful 🙂 Wishing you the very best!

GreenTea&Honey

[geoff]

hello Oblivious, a warm welcome to the forum and I'm very sorry that your ex has broken up with you.

You can fix this with her, because couples have disagreements but it doesn't mean she doesn't love you, but with care, love, and devotion she will return to you, but firstly there maybe something else that is troubling you which we want to help you with, but can I suggest that you go to your doctor to get a diagnosis and the treatment you may need.

With depression of any type it will affect us in any particular way, we are not certain which way this maybe, but what I do know is that negative thoughts begin to take over and that's why you need the help of your doctor, a psychologist and we will do everything we can to also help you. Geoff.