Am Depressed Or Just Seeking Attention?

[DannyBoy1]

Hey,

 For the past year or so (I can't really remember when it started) I have been feeling depressed. Previously I had just ignored the feelings of sadness, however, now it just seems to have escalated. The thing is, I don't know whether I am actually depressed or just seeking attention. When I am around my friends, I smile, laugh, and join in the conversation. However, when I am on my own and with family, I can't find happiness and it feels strange to be happy and laugh around them. I have very low self-esteem and confidence, so I very rarely go out with friends during the school year and after finishing HSC this year. I always seem to have thoughts about how to change my personality so that people actually like me and regularly have thoughts about how life is a waste and there is no purpose to it. I always feel hopeless and can never stick to any 'hobby' that I want to pick up (I usually give up after a few hours no matter how much I want to do it). Lately after finishing HSC I have been very bored and can't find anything to do which excited me for more than an hour (Could my 'depression' just be my boredom?). I rarely have suicidal thoughts, however they have popped up a few times (Probably just out of curiosity and boredom because I never wanted to act on them). I can't bring myself to talk to my parents about how I feel as I am to scared about how they will act and what they will say. They have previously asked if I was depressed, however, I said no because I was worried. So, do you think I am depressed or just seeking attention?

 Thanks for your help.

[CrashCoyote]

Hi DannyBoy1,

Thank you for posting.

I am a 51yo guy with a pretty varied life history and a bunch of kids. Late teens is a difficult time for most people and I wouldn't be overly concerned just now about some low feelings.

Still, if you are that concerned, the best starting places would be the literature on this site concerning depression and maybe a trip to your G.P.

I don't think you are attention seeking. But I'm also not convinced you are depressed. Get yourself checked out, there are other possibilities!

Kind regards, John.

[geoff]

dear Danny, I just wonder if you have completed the depression test, and if not then please google this 'k10 test for depression', as a high score will indicate whether you have depression or not.

When someone with depression goes out with their friends, we put on a fake face, or fake personality, which means that we laugh and joke with them, pretending to be happy, but underneath we are suffering.

Can you please get back to us after you have done this questionnaire. Geoff.

[Neil_1]

Hi Danny

Welcome to Beyond Blue and I’m very pleased to see that both John and Geoff have chipped in with very good responses back to you.

When you mentioned about your parents actually asking you whether you were depressed, I actually read that as a very encouraging sign from them. 

I realise it can be very difficult to discuss such issues with your parents, as mostly you’re wondering how they may react – now I’m reading between the lines here, but for them to actually raise it suggests to me that it could be beneficial to have a chat to them.  Especially if you have a good relationship with them;  and like John, I do not think you’re attention seeking at all – but there ‘could’ be something there, or again as John said, it could be something generated by your age. 

The K-10 test is something that doctors get you to do as well – so perhaps have a lash at it and see what comes up.  It’s all very straight forward and no pain involved.  🙂

I do hope you can get back to us on this.

Neil

[DannyBoy1]

Thanks to all of you for the responses,

I sat the K-10 test and got a result of 30 (High).

In terms of speaking to my parents, while I don't believe that they will ignore the situation, I am led to believe that they think I am just bored. This is mainly because my mother keeps trying to find me things to do, e.g. Books, etc. However, they may just be doing this to distract me as they have asked whether I was depressed again, but I was unable to bring myself to talk about the situation.

Just to add, for the past 12 months I have felt this way and have just ignored my feelings. However, now that I have finished HSC and have had time to read about depression, I find myself thinking about it continually and I can't get it off my mind. This leads me to think that 'my depression' is just all in my head. I just don't know and it is becoming quite annoying.

Thanks for your assistance.

[geoff]

dear Danny, well thanks for doing the test and a score of 30 is over halfway in this depression test as max is 50, if I am correct, but your parents are very astute, as most parents who care about their children can read all the various signs that their kid is not the same.

The child can fob off any comments made by mum and dad, but this doesn't stop them from keeping watch on you, in fact they will pay far more attention to how you are going, that's what parents do, and I would be no different to my kids and of course my 2 little grand-children.

OK by being bored can lead us to feeling worthless, lower our self-esteem and confidence which can then lead us to feeling depressed, which is a concern, just as having no interest in any of your hobbies.

If you want to change your personality this won't be a long term solution, sure you can pretend as much as you want, but after awhile you will only go back to how you were, but it can change once you can find some bounce, or some go in your life, but at the moment it's not possible, so I would like you to google this ' student to get some feeling to get out of depression'.

So there are a couple of things I would also like you to do: have a talk with your parents or just your mum if that suits you better, she won't bite your head off, sorry, because they have already picked up on your change of personality, suggest that you go and visit your GP, and this is really a must.

There is this site to also google 'groups to volunteer for' where you can help others by doing some free work, however I'm not sure whether you want to do this or not, but first let's find out if you are bored or suffering from depression.

I won't tell you what I think at the moment, so please see your GP and have your mum on your side, and please get back to us. Geoff.

[DannyBoy1]

Thanks for your response. I'll look at the things you mentioned and talk to my parents as well. As much as I want to avoid talking about it, I guess I have to. I really appreciate your help.

[TheDodgey]

Hi DannyBoy1

I put in a Google search today and your post was the first response.

I see the post was from a while ago and I was just wondering how you're getting on these days?