Trouble moving on from help that wasn’t helpful

[Cheetoh]

I paid a life coach $4000 I was bed ridden, couldn’t walk, urinate, eat or work and my hair was falling out. I would cry for a minimum 12 hours after an appointment. Was he right for me? Clearly not! But he said he could help “fix me” even though I said I would go elsewhere.

So I paid more money by this stage I was addicted to his drama especially when I woke up to “Hey help me out on a video I posted” which was apparently of his ex wife’s flying monkeys, I was addicted to drama from my ex and he knew this! I have also been told by a professional that because he used the words “fix me” I became codependent upon him.

He told me all the above health problems were leading to my destiny! Now that I’m out of the sycophant phase that he seems on needing from his followers I can see how gullible I was spending the $$$ on his “help”

He had a weird and wonderful way of having you as a friend and changing to a client when it suits his mood so you have no idea where you stand.

My own friends and Husband didn’t like him, yet I stood up for him time and again in true empath style.

Once I even asked him if he was a Narcissist as I felt very confused and crocodile tears followed, which I fell for…

And really should any “professional” ask how kinky you are? Or would it be better to ask how is your labido? Even his own mother believes he’s in a cult!

In a way he was fortunate with me as I believed I psychologically transferred my ex onto him so I kept going to him for “help” only to find out he is equally delusional of his own place in life.

Clearly my trouble now is moving on, I was supposed to start work at 9am and it is nearly 1pm and I still have no drive.

[HappyHelper88]

Hello Cheetoh Thanks for your post,

Im so sorry to hear about what has happened
No one can "fix you" they can only try and help you improve or manage your situation and a life coach can offer good advice but the best person to help you improve yourself might be someone like a counsellor or psychologist
they are a health professional and wouldn't take advantage of someone

I can see you really trusted and relied on this person and they took advantage of that
It is hard to move on but time will be able to help you to move forward
I understand it may be hard to go to work after all this has happened.

I think it would really benefit you to talk to someone about what has happened
If you want to talk this through with a Beyond Blue counsellor, we’re on 1300 22 4636 or you can reach us on webchat too. It can really help to talk things like this through.
Please remember to reach out whenever you need to.
Hope this helps

[therising]

Hi Cheetoh

You're someone who clearly holds the ability to look for the best in people. This is a truly beautiful ability that not all people have. I wish there were more people like you in this world. You also obviously hold the ability to sense the need for speeding up your own evolution, hence why you employed this guy. This is another unique ability, to search for the best in yourself so as to move forward with greater ease.

Wondering if a different perspective will help in the way you see the situation with that 'life coach'. Would you say he coached you in coming to understand the nature of a narcissist? Did he coach you to better sense and trust those 'red flag' feelings (intuition/gut instinct)? Did he coach you in some way to be an even stronger empath than what you already were, feeling more deeply? While an expensive lesson, I imagine you still learned from him.

I can relate to having been burned by people who had their own agenda while appearing to care. In hindsight, I can say I learned a lot from such people. Some of those lessons were either incredibly angering, leading me to beat myself up at times, and even deeply depressing. If there's one outstanding thing I learned from each of those people it was about learning to trust my feelings/my instinct. I suppose you could say while you're looking for the best in people, it pays to wonder why you're feeling the red flags. Sounds like that life coach needs greater lessons himself. If you're a believer in karma, perhaps they're on their way.

Personally, I was fortunate enough to meet a truly beautiful life coach a number of years back. Actually, he was one who chose to become more of a spiritual coach. One of the things he said that made a difference to me is something I'll share with you - On the path to becoming who you truly are, there will be things that come up that may lead you off track. Forgive yourself and get back on that path to becoming the best version of yourself. There will always be people who throw mud and sh*t at you along the way, in the process, and you gotta practice washing that stuff off so you can keep on going to find the best in yourself. Easier said than done at times 🙂

If it's of any help, a brilliant book (in my opinion) is 'Becoming Supernatural', by Dr Joe Dispenza. It addresses how we tick holistically - mentally, physically and naturally. It may perhaps help shed some light on why you're feeling so exhausted, lacking in the energy you're so desperate to feel.