Hello Bruce 4,
If it seems possible, that is, if you and your wife can sit and talk without there being an argument, maybe with someone independent, who can help both of you to discuss infidelity, then that is what I would suggest, a counsellor, perhaps? Have you considered that?
I don't understand why you would want to 'get over it', without at least trying to talk with her. Unless, being able to 'get over it' means you don't have to deal with it; it's easier to ignore and pretend fidelity is not an important issue for you.
I think relationship problems, which are not openly discussed, and buried, have a way of silently undermining relationships.
Just a thought.
Have you more thoughts of your own?
Hello Dear Bruce..
Welcome to the forums..
I am so sorry that this has happened to you..
I agree with mmMekitty,...If it’s at all possible, maybe if you could sit down and discuss this with your wife...
It would make you feel so confused, knowing she had an affair as it can break trust...
Please keep talking here if you feel up to it..
Here is a safe place full of caring and wonderful people..many that has gone through the same as you..
I am sure some others with lived experience will pop in to talk to you..
Please , look after yourself...
My kindest thoughts Dear Bruce..