Report Harassment or Keep on the Down Low?

[Con_Fused]

Hi,

New to this internet posting stuff. I've been on the (not-so) "merry go round" for 30 years now, had 4 major breakdowns, various issues, depression & anxiety the mainstays. While I go from one incident to another, I'm currently having a major issue with my clothes not fitting. Sounds minor. But I've always had it and it's really taking it's toll now. The result is I get ridiculed and laughed at by young and old, large & thin, everyone. I walk around with my head down so I do not see their reactions. I wear earphones so I don't hear their "suggestions". I avoid shopping centres because my life depends on it. Once I'm home, I'm scared to leave my lounge-room. If I could stop working, I would but that's just not financially practical, or a reality.

Just seen my GP who's given me time off work as I had a really, bad day yesterday, singular interactions most of the day then in the afternoon, a whole section of my department (20 odd) returning from a meeting they had, sniggering while we all waited for the elevator. My defenses, they took a battering. My GP is appalled at the treatment and my medical certificate is somewhat tersely worded to that affect.

However - I'm at odds at submitting the certificate, formalising my issues with management and my Union, bringing it all out into the open. It's obviously already out there but not through my doing. I'm afraid of the consequences. The target on my head. The stigma of reporting it. I already know the answer to the equation of reprimand many or let me go.

I don't believe my reporting it will stop it. Quite the opposite. I believe it will get worse. I've been called "a princess" in the past for voicing my concerns. (I'm a bloke by the way.) Government Dept. One of those that has all the policy's about how we treat and respect one another, how we act, and how we approach such instances, all talk.

I believe the policy's only support small instances. Minor party infringements. I'm leaning towards keeping it all down low, bluffing my way through some time off, wasting more money on clothes that don't fit or get "sold" to me, I'll even go back to the "tailor" to try for the tenth time.

I'm not young anymore. I'm worn down physically & mentally. I guess the reason I'm posting is I'm bouncing my idea of not formalising it. Riding it out for another few years. Edging closer to the retirement that I have nothing for.

[Billyc]

Hi Con,

Im sorry to hear of what you are going through.

The workplace ought to be a place you enjoy and feel safe in.

I believe your well within your rights to express what your are experiencing to management. It is not an easy task, but you cannot continue to accept this kind of behaviour, it is detrimental to your personal wellbeing, I don’t know your management but trust there will Ben someone there that you can rely on to take this seriously.

When you start taking time out because of these issues than sadly it can fall back on you, it’s going to take courage but it’s is up to you speak up.. are their any other employees that have noticed this? Perhaps you could approach them and discuss the issue? Perhaps thy could support you talking to management?

I hope you can resolve this for your own well-being. Keep us all posted on how things go.

[Con_Fused]

Thanks Billyc, not the answer I was looking for however also not totally unexpected. That it can fall back on me is what I did need to be told though, as I have taken time in the past with no explanation. I don't like confrontation, (who does), but I think I'm focusing on what I want to happen, rather than what will likely not. At least if I put it out there, it lays the groundwork for any future melts.

I do a lot of the scenario play-outs in my head, much like that TV ad on now that shows the guy in an interview hearing the voices in his head saying he's not worth it etc.

I think I will attempt a closed meeting with a couple of managers, perhaps with a union rep in tow, to at least give some sort of explanation. Hope I don't start getting super emotional in it. No-one likes to see a grown man cry, least of all the grown man.

[Billyc]

Hi Con,

I have to disagree with you there. No shame in crying at all. Man or woman. There’s no excuses nor should there be any form of tolerance for bullying and intimidation in the workplace. After all it is a place where you are constantly at your most vulnerable, regardless of what you do. Encouragement and support should be instilled into your colleagues upon theirs and your induction.