Reflecting Back on 2021

[Sophie_M]

Hi All,

With only a few more weeks left in the year it's important to be gentle on ourselves and be mindful of the steps we can take to continue to support our wellbeing – no matter how big or small. Writing here can be a great place to start. We hope everyone stays connected during the holiday season and please keep checking in if you need a safe space to turn to during this time. Our community is here to hold space for you. 

If you or someone you care about would benefit from additional supports and resources, please feel free to connect with Beyond Blue’s Support Service available 24/7 on 1300 22 4636, or reach us online: https://www.beyondblue.org.au/get-support/

Community Voices: What are people talking about?

Young People: Managing Relationships and Your Mental Wellbeing  

I am 23, just graduated uni and have struggled with mostly depression and more recently anxiety since I was in high school. I've have never been sure what I will do for a job and am generally pretty unsure of my goals and have very low self-esteem. I have a few chronic health conditions which have been a huge contributing factor to my mental health and was the reason I started seeing a psychologist during high school. Speaking to someone was fairly helpful at first but in the past few years whenever I have had psychologist appointments, I've just felt like I'm complaining and repeating myself each time and not really getting much from it. - javalava13 (Read more here)

Recently I had a big falling out with my ex-boyfriend (who I thought I was still on somewhat good terms with) and majority of our mutual friends due to my “not being able to get over the break up” and my mental health issues which have gotten more severe recently due to a heap of other circumstances. - AliC. (Read more here)

I’m not to sure how to use this yet, but I just wanted to talk about something

my mental health has been getting worse and worse especially in this last semester, and recently I’ve had a falling out with some of my friends, these friends are in most my classes. These friends really did make me happy because of how much fun I had with them, but I’ve been kicked out and I honestly can’t pin point the reasons why, I do know I shouldn’t have said some things but anyway this made me realise how depressed and hopeless I really am – Gothamfan (Read more here)

Preparing for the holidays

It's getting close to 'that time of year', & I'm seeing some mention of it here on BB, so I thought, wonder what people are doing this year? Will this year be the same as always for you, or what? Do you plan anything? Go anywhere? Do you want a grand Xmas / New Year? Or something simple &, whether by yourself, or with others? Will you be around BB over the 'silly season', as much, less or more?

I would like to be hanging around here, greeting people who may be lonely, or feeling the stress of societal expectations around these days, such as we see & hear in the ads, movies, & how people always ask 'what are you doing for xmas?', 'spending time with family?' & astonishment if you are not. – mmMekitty (Read more here)

 With Christmas around the corner I'm a little behind on my Christmas shopping (aka have not started and overwhelmed by choices) so I thought maybe I'd ask you all for help.

Is there a Christmas present that really stuck out to you? Something fun you got one year? 🙂 Or, if you're stuck, what's something on your wishlist? - romantic_thi3f (Read more here)

im new to this group. Hoping to find support from like minded people impacted by the WA Gov decision to not allow families to reunite over Christmas with inflexibility around border controls. This is difficult for me and I know as we near Christmas will only get worse…it’s been 2 years - Casey K (Read more here)

Finding connection

I found myself really focusing on these loneliness feeling a lot. It started halfway through last year and over time it’s just gotten worse and worse, I sort of struggle to manage it. Each day for example, I will work but in the back of my head I’m questioning why I feel this way and how I can’t find a way out. - Daniel12 (Read more here)

Being a British born Sikh, who migrated from the UK to Australia with my family, I was reflecting how challenging the transition was especially when it came to leaving our family and friends back in the UK, and even now couple of years on we all still experience a level of loneliness.

This got me thinking regarding how international students, (whose second language is English), cope with the transition to a new country, especially if they travel on their own and do have not have any family or friends at their final destination. – Baljit (Read more here)

Social anxiety means i have not made any friends yet in melbs and general anxiety and overthinking is making my thoughts/beliefs in my mind very strong. I am very good at hiding it with avoiding and keeping it to myself, which i thought was helpful but got the courage to go to my GP and started seeing a psychologist.-one of the hardest things i have done. But talking about my beliefs in my mind and struggles i think is the start of getting somewhere to understanding my mind, anxiety and loneliness. – Jamac (Read more here)

Meet Beyond Blue’s Newest Community Champions!

This month we welcome ‘Maddeline’ and ‘On the Road’ to the forums volunteer team 😊

Read more about the Community Champion's team HERE

Valued Contributor Award

Our Valued Contributor for the month of November is ‘Mishmo’!

Mishmo has been nominated for role modelling to others the importance of embracing one’s unique self and having agency over how one chooses to manage their mental wellbeing. Thank you Mishmo, for listening without judgement and sharing your own lived experience to support others with their coping, recovery, and wellness

To read more about what a Valued Contributor is and how you can nominate a fellow community member, please refer to our 'Nominate a Valued Contributor' thread, here.

BB News/Resources

Mixed Emotions – forums thread

If you don't know how to feel right now, you're not alone. The last couple of years have been tough, and with everything constantly changing, it’s hard to find the right words to describe how we’re feeling. Join the forum thread on Mixed Emotions and share how you’re feeling with the community, here.

Tips to recognise and manage burnout - BB article

Burnout is a state of complete mental, physical and emotional exhaustion caused by excessive stress over a long period of time.

Living with physical disability during COVID-19: William’s story – BB article

Here William, who lives with a physical disability, shares how he has supported his mental health during the pandemic.

'Sexuality and self-acceptance', an episode from the 'Not Alone' - BB podcast

I am a gay man. Five words that Maxim couldn't bring himself to say out loud. And so, for the best part of a decade, Maxim hid, refusing to accept his sexuality. Listen to Maxim’s story on the Beyond Blue podcast, ‘Not Alone’.

'Shifting male attitudes', an episode from the 'Not Alone' - BB podcast

Brad McEwan grew up in a small regional town in the 1980s. It was a time when ‘being a man’ meant being tough, stoic, and unemotional. Men didn’t talk about their feelings. Listen to Brad’s story on the Beyond Blue podcast, 'Not Alone'.

Why we should avoid saying ‘committed’ suicide - BB Instagram post

We understand when it comes to suicide, talking about language can seem a bit trivial. If you have lost someone to suicide, changing the words you use does not bring them back. However, we think it's important that people understand the impact of words when it comes to mental health, and the role we can all play in reducing stigma. That’s why we’ve shared this carousel of images to help people to think about how their language can play a role in reducing stigma.

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[mmMekitty]

Thank you, Sophie_M for this Thread.

But I'm not sure how to contribute, seeing as this year had become a continuation of last year, with not many better days when I felt I could take more risks going out more again. It took me quite a while to make up my mind to do so, then, wham! We have another new varient to get our heads around, & I hav a serious health diagnisis, which I will be dealing with into next year. Hopes have borne no fruit. I still can't wear a mask, & although my PDr wants us to meet face to face again in the new year, I'm not convinced it will happen.

Don't be mistaken, it's not all gloom.

I'm in contact with my sis, although it's still 'business' between us, we have managed to get some lighter conversation happening between us.

I've found some really wonderful people here on BB.

I am realising that if I can help someone even a tiny amount, that helps me to feel a better sense of my being worth something, raises my self-esteem, & takes me away from where my mindset was dwelling in all the harm from my past ,to taking the experiences & things I have learned, & putting them to good use.

So,😸while this year may have felt like last year, I must admit, that upon reflection, it has been a year of learning & growth.

& your character limit (with spaces) constantly reminds me to edit for whatever is not strictly necessary to get my meaning across.

& I have propagated Jo's red hearts so there is an abundance of them to go around.

🐾❤️🐾❤️❤️🐾❤️❤️🐾❤️❤️🐾❤️❤️ See, they are falling out of my fur...❤️🐾❤️🐾❤️❤️🐾❤️❤️🐾❤️...like dandruff....😼

mmMekitty

[mmMekitty]

Oh, I meant to add a question about the last thing:

Why we should avoid saying ‘committed’ suicide - BB Instagram post

Because I don't use other social media platforms, therefore I would like to read it here. Is this available somewhere here on BB?

warm regards,

mmMekitty

[geoff]

Hello Sophie_M, a good thread.

Geoff.

[Sophie_M]

Hey mmMekitty,
We hear your concerns, and we agree that it's important to support the community, and those impacted by suicide to use language that is best suited for them. We understand that the suggestions in the post won’t be the best for everyone - we think different perspectives are important and we're really glad that you have been able to share them here. Each event is unique and the language we use to talk about it is unique to us as well, so we really appreciate seeing that reflected in these discussions.
We don't want anyone to feel policed, and hope that anyone who feels distressed about anything raised in this post or the comments knows that they can reach out to us anytime for support on 1300 22 4636, or through our online chat: https://www.beyondblue.org.au/get.../get-immediate-support
 

[blondguy]

Hey mmMekitty

thankyou for highlighting what you have about Beyond Blue mentioning what they did about phrasing 'committing s' I havent seen this before....

Ive been on the forums for six years and I cant stand long winded posts......Why do you want an increased character limit?

Happy Christmas mmMeKitty! Thankyou for your caring input across the forums too!

my kindest

Paul

[geoff]

I must agree that this comment is long winded and to read long threads isn't something I like to do.

Geoff.

[Guest_1055]

Hi Paul and Geoff

Long winded posts could mean this:

The person writing it has many thoughts happening at the same time, possibly scattered thoughts. Can be a challenge for the writer to focus on one topic at a time. May come across as disordered.

I know I tend to write scattered sometimes and that is what my thoughts are like. Scattered. Can feel very overwhelming when one's thoughts are like that.

[quirkywords]

Sophie

thanks for the informative post.
it is a long list and shows a variety of issues raised.
Over 14 years when I started doing talks to community groups about my lived experience,we were told then about language and its effect and it did include language surrounding suicide. So it is nit a new thing and the awareness has been around for some time.

I don’t think BB is trysting to tell us how to speak but just making us aware of language.

There were words used over 20 years ago to describe peoples sexuality which would not be used today on the forum.

I see it about being aware and educating oneself and then deciding what to do..

Thanks Sophie

[mmMekitty]

Hello,

I wasn't criticising the Instagram thing. I haven't read it. I am interested in reading what was posted to Instagram - but I don't use that or other social media platforms.

I understand the word 'committed' was used when laws were different. The act or attempted act was illegal, As Quirkywords points out, language changes with shifts in attitude. It can be hard to keep up. I would welcome some instruction so to avoid inadvertently upsetting or insulting others with my out-of-date terms. I might think my terms are fine, but for someone 40 years younger my choice of words may well be offensive. Or I'm not sure just what to say at all.

I wasn't making a comment about the Instagram thing. I do want to read it, to be informed, to understand more, that's all.

& to Paul,

I work my way through my thoughts by writing. In my word documents, I've written far more than what I post, 'cause I write 'too much', but feels like not enough to have been as clear as I want. But being clear does not necessarily mean being wordy. So I edit - it's a good thing to do, good for my writing, for communication as well.

My thoughts are rarely uncomplicated, unqualified short sentences. & like Shelll, I also have a good ramble through several thoughts, like picking up many loose threads & seeing if there is a pattern or even n over-all theme. Sometimes these lead me to something very meaningful for me. Spur of the moment, & actually thinking I am saying things to someone, helps me so much, I must apologise, I am going to continue to write long posts.

Thanks for your attention.

mmMekitty