paddyanne

[paddyanne]

My real name is Lynda. I have worked with mentally and physically disabled adults and children for the past 6 years. Most of them are able to communicate, although sometimes listening to them can be difficult due to speech impediments. I have a yellow card which enables me to work with them. I also have had experience with autism in adults. I have found with adults the autism means they are unable to communicate on an adult level. They can communicate, but it's limited to their world and how they view it. I have worked with many Downs Syndrome adults, which can be a challenge. The interesting side of this is not many of these adults suffer depression because, quite simply they have no understanding of depression. They tend to become frustrated if they are unable to be understood, but the frustration is momentary because their attention span is limited and they are easily diverted by music, books or t.v programs. Some of them can become violent if they get really frustrated. The violence is usually in the form of kicking each other or an inanimate object. They are similar to children to a point where they do try and push buttons for reaction purposes. They understand that outings are a privilege which can be removed, so they are generally quite well behaved. Due to health reasons I'm taking a break for now.

[white knight]

Hi Lynda, welcome

Back in 1988 I worked for one year in a sheltered workshop which was really an assembly line factory with disabled adults. Many of my employees had down syndrome and I got quite attached to them.

One day we were repackaging lollies into new bags. I'd turn around and asked who was eating the lollies- all would say "not me Tony" with mouth absolutely filled with half chewed jubes. lol

Anyway is there something you would like to discuss here about your mental health?

TonyWK

[paddyanne]

Hi Tony. Many thanks for the welcome. My mental health is not the reason I'm taking a break from my job. My physical health is the problem. My job is sort of shift work with staggered meal times (sometimes a quick snack between clients). I have T2 diabetes which was under control but because my meal times were so erratic, my sugar levels started elevating to Stroke territory. Everything has started to settle, so I'll be returning next month. I am separated from a narc partner, took 7 months to stop hearing him tell me I had made a mistake with this or that. We had been married 30 years. He was extremely jealous of my ability to work with disabled adults and this caused many arguments. I found many disabled adults can be extremely loving but can turn nasty just as quick. My favorite client was a 70 year old who kept presenting me with pics she had cut from magazines. She always hugged me when I collected her. She had the mental age of 6 or 7 and would often direct me to her workshops. Extremely bossy, but also very affectionate.

[white knight]

Hi Paddyanne,

I just replied on another thread. Glad you are here. I did many years shift work and it took its toll. Anyway, jealousy for you being able to connect with disable, any jealousy at all is problematic. Enjoy your new life.

TonyWK

[quirkywords]

Paddy Anne,

Thanksfor your posts .

I worked for nearly ten years with children with special needs. it was rewarding and exhausting. Yera slater my back can still give me trouble.

I am glad you are looking after your physical health.

I always say I learnt more from my students than they did from me.

I wish you all the best .

Quirky

[paddyanne]

quirkywords. Thanks for the encouraging words. Working with disabled adults is similar to working with young children. The intelligence level is similar. Our firm has ongoing workshops to swap ideas and discuss ways of dealing with individual needs. Some of our disabled clients are unable to communicate and they mumble or point. We have learnt to distinguish the difference between pointing and directing. One client in particular gets quickly agitated if we are late collecting him. He will point to his watch and repeat you're late. Apologizing is futile because he doesn't understand. He has a quick temper and will get extremely agitated because he's late and doesn't understand why. We usually just apologize and get him to his work. By the time he's ready to come home, he's completely forgotten. They forget easily and can be distracted easily. It can be hard, but it's rewarding. Many of my clients who see me outside of work greet me like I'm their best friend.

[paddyanne]

Hi Tony and all at Beyond Blue. I don't suffer depression as such although I did have some issues with it. I do have a problem that I would appreciate some ideas on dealing with it. About 3 years ago I foolishly reconnected with a guy I had known in the early '70's. We split after 3 years due to too much outside interference. I never saw him again till 3 years ago when I discovered he had relocated here (we knew each other in N.Z). Our lives had taken different paths and I have realised what we had is no longer. He phones me constantly, he lives about 40 minutes from me. I have repeatedly explained we have absolutely nothing in common. He is the 'waif/hermit' character and both traits are difficult. He is in a rental house which has drainage issues. His real estate agency has done nothing to assist him. I have given him option after option to follow but he chooses to do nothing, he complains regularly. I have blocked him, deleted him, ignored his repeated phone calls, I get abused and accused of being everything from ignorant to treating him with indifference. Nothing I do seems to explain why he needs to do something to improve his lifestyle. He has said countless times he needs to change and wants to, but saying and doing is two different things. He can't seem to grasp that I am not the same girl he knew all those years ago. He has told me several times he intends seeing his Dr to get a referral for a counselor but, as usual, he's done nothing. I'm at a loss to know what to do. Each time I block or delete him, he somehow finds a way to reconnect. I'm reluctant to report him to the police. I think he has brain damage as a result of a serious car accident, so I think his memory could be partly at fault. He is a semi-regular drinker. I don't drink or smoke so again nothing in common.

[white knight]

Hi again,

I'm afraid you options are limited to the police. If you explain the situation and request they visit him for a chat, that might be the better way to go before a court order to keep him away.

I have a lot of experience in that field.

TonyWK.

[paddyanne]

Hi again Tony. The problem with reporting him he will twist everything to come up smelling of roses and I will be labelled as neurotic. I have a friend in England, she blocked him after he pestered her when I blocked him. He lies and makes out we are great friends and my temper is the issue. He has also told me I'm a snob because I believe I'm better than him. I have never met anyone like him so I'm bewildered. Most people who end communications often harbour resentment initially, but do move on. He will ignore the police. He ignores or switches off when he doesn't want to know. If I report him and keep reporting him, that might work. He got into trouble for pestering an elderly women, her daughter reported him but he ignored her and posted on fb about how bad he'd been treated. The daughter ignored his ranting. She only reported him once. I might report him and tell the police he will ignore so they will have to be firm.