OCD help

[sunshine333]

This is my first time on here so bare with me ...I'm pretty sure i've had OCD for a while as i find myself having to make sure the taps are turned off even though i know they are and to continuously check that i have turned something off or locked my gate when i've already checked it like 5 times. However during the past 4 days i've been having intrusive thoughts about hurting myself and others close to me which i know i would NEVER do , it started happening after recently i had a fall out with my friends and that has been giving me alot of anxiety . I notice the thoughts tend to happen more when i'm alone or when i'm left to think about things and mainly happen when i'm at home. I was diagnosed with panic disorder a few years ago as well by my doctor and i was on medication for that for a couple years until i started to get memory loss so i went off the meds (gradually) as it was making my mind foggy . Last year was the first year i've been off them and i haven't really had any panic attacks like i use to but due to these thoughts now i keep getting anxious that they'll never go away and scared that i could even think about something like that when it's not something i'd ever want to EVER think about . I've been reading forums and it's made me feel a little better as i have felt so alone these past few days but i was wondering how to overcome this . i have tried to see counsellors in the past for anxiety but i could never get through it as i hate talking about my feelings and every time i see a counsellor i just break down and cry and they always ask me why and i never know .

[Sophie_M]

Welcome to the forums, sunshine333, we are so glad that you've taken a big step in sharing your thoughts and feelings here with our wonderful community. It's great that you've found some comfort here, despite these challenging thoughts you've been experiencing. It sounds pretty overwhelming and scary. 

You mentioned that it's been hard to talk with mental health professionals in the past but if you'd ever like to try again, feel free to get in touch with Beyond Blue Support Service. They are available 24/7 by phone on 1300 22 4636 or on Webchat 3pm-12am AEST on our website: www.beyondblue.org.au/getsupport. 

Please keep reaching out here on your thread whenever you feel up to it.