New to the thread, not depression sadly.

[Ali3d]

Hi, my name is Ali.

I am a 20 year old transgender female living in Perth. I have been struggling with depression, anxiety and gender dysphoria for many years. I came out to my family as transgender in January 2016, they have been tolerant and supportive of me though there are still conflicts and some discomfort being with them, and assisting in getting the help and appointments I need for my journey to transition. I have been on hormones since December 2016 and began estrogen on my birthday in April.

In the last few years I have been suffering from increased cognitive issues as a result of an illness I contracted in high school, Glandular fever. As a result I live with permanent migraines and chronic pain & fatigue as well as have severe difficulties with concentration and memory problems well beyond those associated with depression. In the last few months I have suffered from a severe memory problems to the point it is impacting me to the point of struggling to do the most basic daily things. Because of this my anxiety and depression have gotten worse and the increased emotions from the hormones has me in a state of constant emotional breakdowns and inability to function at university, find a job, and maintain a healthy relationship with my girlfriend who also has depression, and is not coping with my increased emotional instability.
I have been to dozens of psychologists and psychiatrists, tried countless medications for depression and my pain and concentration issues, but I haven’t found anything that has really helped make a dent in my recovery. I am stuck in a cycle of tedious appointments that accomplish nothing, and having my already dead hopes further pushed into the dirt with each failed program to get some sort of relief from the daily struggle.

I guess I’m not sure what else is left for me to do so am trying to reach out to others and see if anythings worked for you, it may work for me.
Thanks for listening.

[Peppermintbach]

Hi Ali3d,

I found your post very moving. I think it’s largely because I have an acquaintance that I know, through a friend, who is a transgender woman. I don’t know her too well but my friend told me it was an extremely emotional time for her...as it would (understandably) be.

I don’t know the right words to say and I know that I don’t understand from a personal experience viewpoint but I still wanted to try reaching out. I hope that is okay with you.

You sound very overwhelmed by emotion as well as a little scattered. It must be very distressing to have to juggle so many conflicting emotions, not to mention your physical health struggles like the glandular fever.

To your credit, good on you for being so committed to your mental and physical health with all the appointments. Although it must be so frustrating and disappointing that they haven’t been helping much.

I know there is a sexuality and gender forum here that you might like to browse. Perhaps you could check out some threads there and there is one thread (it should be around the very top) called “LGBT+ members - got a question - need somewhere to start - here is the place” that might be of particular interest to you.

Of course, you’re more than welcome to continue posting here on this thread too. We would be happy to hear from you again here but I figured you might also find the above forum and thread helpful.

Hope we hear from you again but only if you wish. There is no pressure of course.

Caring thoughts,

Pepper