New to having psychotic disorder

[Brittney1]

Hello, I'm new to all this so bare with me sorry,
I have recently been diagnosed with have a psychotic disorder..
I have severe anxiety depression, and I hear voices in my head.
I am a drug user and the voices tens to be very constant and frequently happen when I smoke cannabis.

My partner doesn't have mental illness so he doesn't understand but he's trying, he tries so hard every day and I can't even explain how much of a support he is..I feel like I'm pushing him away, I start getting confused frustrated and exhausted. I get frustrated at myself because something so simple confuses me and I get fatigued.
I don't want to ruin our relationship and my mental illness be the cause of it. Just after some advice or if anyone else can relate. I'm scared when I hear the voices. I don't understand why I hear these particular voices, it's always 1 man and 1 woman that I hear. They bully me and call me names and say horrible things about me. Sometimes I hear moaning and it's always my partners voice. I hear his voice even when he's not home. Can anyone else relate to this? I don't wanna push him away

[romantic_thi3f]

Hi Brittney1,

Welcome to the forums and thank you for joining us. I'm really glad that you reached out and sorry that you are having such a tough time.

I have anxiety and depression too but I haven't had psychosis before; it sounds like it's really scary. What sort of support do you have other than your partner? I know from my own experiences I definitely push my partner away at times- never intentionally, but somehow we always end up having lots of conversations. I talk to him about how I'm feeling and he talks to me about how he is feeling - it sounds so blatantly obvious but sometimes couples just skip this step and think the other one knows.

While we do have some posts on here with psychosis, I wonder if it might be worth checking out the Sane forums- they are really similar to us but talk about different sorts of issues and there's a lot of people you could connect with there going through the same thing - I'll link to it here:

https://saneforums.org/t5/forums/searchpage/tab/message?advanced=false&allow_punctuation=false&filte...

I hope that this helps a little. Let us know how we can be here for you and support you during this time

rt

[SarahZ]

Hello Brittney1,

Welcome to the forums and thank you for reaching out. It takes a lot of courage to be so honest and raw with your emotions and current situation. I can't imagine how mentally exhausting it is dealing with anxiety, depression, and psychosis. It's really great to hear that your partner is really trying his best to help you navigate this. I know someone who has schizophrenia and has been hearing voices for nearly 40 years now. She's definitely much better at handling these voices after receiving the right treatment, medication, and support from medical practitioners and also family and friends. Since this diagnosis is so new I can't imagine how scary, unnerving, and confronting it can be hearing these voices. Hopefully these voices can be manageable with the right treatment. I'm sure your partner will be understanding that what you are going through is not east whatsoever. This time is really about trying to heal and figure out how to cope/what works best for you. If your partner understands this or if you can communicate this to your partner I think your partner will want to stand by your side even when it gets difficult. In any relationship communication is key. I guess if you just let your partner know that you are dealing with a lot right now and might act like you are pushing him away but really you just need time to work with each day as it comes they will be understanding.

Please feel free to reach out whenever you feel up to it! These forums are here to support and listen to your story.

Wishing you the very best ~