New here

[Arion]

Hi all,

I'm new here, I am a naturally introverted person and I think I suffer from anxiety and social anxiety and maybe depression. I often feel anxious about things and worrisome about the slightest stressful thing. However I am not sure how to go about solving this entirely. I have tried various self help methods with some success, but I want to fully be able to cope with or reduce the anxiousness.

Just wanted to introduce myself.

[geoff]

Hello Arion, welcome to the forums and thank you for posting your comment.

Not able to be in a place where there are plenty of people and the noise is bombastic can make someone be an introvert and then develop social anxiety, although I'm not a qualified doctor to be able to mention this, but it can make you too nervous to text or approach someone you want to and then social anxiety forms.

Self help methods can be good and treatable for social anxiety, the problem is that when if for any reason we become stuck in a situation we are unable to cope with, these self help methods aren't suitable to handle this crisis, simply because we stop doing them, that's why a psychologist will teach you different ways to be able to cope with each one when it happens.

Don't be afraid of your doctor, they have many people who are in the same position as you and have been able to help them.

Can I suggest you write down everything that concerns you, then hand this over to them, this will help you in trying to explain, let them begin your help process.

Best wishes.

Geoff.

[amberlite]

-Hi to everyone, what a beautiful introduction, clear and concise. It sure seems that you have what it takes to face these issues. I love the advice given in the Tiger's post above me. I actually do the make a list of symptoms before seeing the Dr, and it is so helpful. Hope to hear how you get on, see you later.

[quirkywords]

Arion

Welcome to the forum. Well done for making your first introduction.

Geoff and amber lite have given helpful suggestions.

Feel free to write here as much as you like.
I am glad you chose to join the forum.
This is a supportive and non judgemental place where people are friendly and welcoming.

[MaryV]

Hi

I'm new too and relate to you Arion.

This is my first post. I have been avoiding tagging myself with an anxiety problem for a few years, but actually when I look back I was anxious and fearful even as a child, but I am accepting that it is a problem for me and have been doing a lot of self help reading and listening to a lot podcasts. After all these years I am finally accepting it as who I am. It is anxiousness one day and blues the next, like today.

So my story is that I have been with my wife for more than 20 years, we have 3 children together (15 & under) and a lot of my anxiety comes from family life. I am a migrant (English speaking) so have no family here although I have a couple of good friends. I believe she has anxiety from her childhood also but does not accept it, she is a very 'just get on with it, pull yourself together' type of person. I love my family dearly and am very grateful for what we have built and what we have, and what we can give our children. We are very lucky I know. But....I feel like I am always walking on eggshells waiting for the next thing I do wrong or the next blow up. She is very unpredictable and gets into rages that result in telling me to just stop talking. I told her just before Xmas that I thought I had anxiety and she told me not to label myself; and last week I wrote her a long text (because we had been arguing and couldn't resolve it) explaining how I felt, telling her I loved her but that I thought her need for control of everything in the family was a sign of anxiety also, and that we should get counselling together - her response was to say 'don't ever send me a text like again what a load of shit' (Excuse my language!)

So here I am, I have anxiety, and I am trying to accept it and deal with it with a partner who doesn't believe it, who doesn't want her wife to say she has it, and who doesn't believe one bit in counselling. I have asked her to come to counselling with me several times but she will not and says it is a waste of time. Sometimes I just up-manage her, other times I have no energy for her. I love her, she says she loves me and doesn't want me to change, but actually won't accept my feelings of anxiety, so I deal with it by myself. I have confided in one friend but my wife would be so furious if she knew.

I am strong also most of the time, I just need to have this validated, so I have finally taken the plunge. Thank you for being here and allowing me to share. I think it will help me cope.

[amberlite]

Hi M, I just read your post and it reads true and clear. Your probably better of dealing with your anxiety first, because doing so will give you the confidence, that you may need when improving the relationship. bye

[quirkywords]

MaryV welcome to the forum. Thanks for writing yiur post here to help another.

Thanks for your honesty. I am sorry your wife does not understand your anxiety and dismissed it.

Can you talk your GP about what you have written here.
You need to get help for yourself and understanding.

[Guest_4643]

Hi Arion, welcome.

I would suggest going to a GP or Psychiatrist to get a diagnosis. Just trying to be helpful. Take care.

[Guest_206]

Hi MaryV, im sorry to hear about what youre going through - about the eggshells you're walking on and the rages your wife gets into. It sounds like a really tough place to be in, especially when you're trying to open up and she's shutting you down. Some of what you're talking about makes me wonder if it would be helpful to also speak to 1800Respect? Just a thought... you have the right to open up to your friend about what you're going through.

[MaryV]

Thank you Quirkywords. Yes I can speak with my GP, I am trying to avoid that as I want to see how I go with self help first, and this forum is really helpful. However I do know that if my anxiety keeps causing me to have these moments I will have to make an appt. Thank you 🙂