New here, feeling anxious about returning to work after covid19.

[Katniss91]

Unfortunately i am one of the unlucky hospitality staff members who have temporarily been stood down due to Covid19.

bit of background, i started dating someone in september 2019, who does live hour and a half away from me. The distance was hard but we made it work. At the start of all this covid19, i was anxious and worried that when and if i did get stood down or we go into lockdown, where would i go?

Today, Wednesday the 8th April, i have now been down at my boyfriends for 2 weeks. I am starting to get a bit anxious about when and if we return to work. I do have a room in a house i share with a friend, which i do pay rent for. I have only been back once since, to go to an appointment then came straight back to my boyfriends.

i am feeling anxious about going "home". questioning whether its something i actually want to do, or do i stay down here after covid19 "lockdown" is done. must mention prior to going into "lockdown" boyfriend and i were trying to conceive (not using protection). So the plan was, prior to this. We would try til we got pregnant then i would work up until i couldnt know more then move to his house while on maternity leave then access living arrangements then. However now this has taken place (must mention i struggle with change and get quite anxious about the unknown) i am not sure whats going to happen.

Just wanting someone to talk to and some advice on how to cope with the anxiety.

[PamelaR]

Hi Katniss and warm welcome to our forums

Anxiety is the pits isn't it. I've lived with it for a very long time. This COVID-19 is a real testing time for me, as it obviously for you. Change is a trigger for some, but for me, change is okay. I can live with it quite easily and to be honest need it. My husband on the other hand is someone who experiences anxiety significantly when change occurs, however, living with me, he's learnt that things aren't that bad (sometimes he forgets0.

So what are some of his strategies -

acknowledge that change is inevitable. That control over these changes are outside of his control.

accept it when changes occur. Being aware of what's happening, listening to 'official reports' about lockdowns, shutdowns, next possible moves. This is a really important step. Hubby deals with change better if he has a better understanding of what's happening and what the options are. We usually talk these through to help bring down his anxiety. From where I sit, it's keeping up with the 'official reports' (not your media triads that send people into a spin - that's what they're designed to do). Not sure which state you live in, but our State has a daily broadcast from our Premier who tells us, what's happening, what's likely to happen and what we as a community need to do. I've taken to listening to this on a daily basis (mid morning) and it gives me some confidence about what to do. I interpret this for my hubby so he doesn't get to stressed. Would your boyfriend be able to do that for you?

I also listen to what the Prime Minister is saying - it helps to understand what may happen in the future (or may not happen). I'm leaving politics aside for now - for me it's essential to have a clear understanding about the changes that are occurring.

Not sure I've helped Katniss, I think the essence of my post is - listen to official broadcasts by officials only. Not the media, like news or current affair.It helps to some degree to know what is going on.

Kind regards

PamelaR

[Katniss91]

Thanks PamelaR,

That is good advice, my sister is good for that. Knowing whats really going on and who to listen to. I rely on her for that.

I go through moments as im sure everyone does but my thoughts run wild sometimes and i tend to over think that. After i calm down or talk it over with people i tend to say to myself, why did i worry about that! silly billy.

I am finding my boyfriend is very supportive, thank god. my past boyfriends havent been at all and that made things so hard. i am very grateful for him at this time.

i was quite shocked to hear your husband has anxiety. i tend to not hear very often men being open and honest about depression/anxiety. I am currently on medication for mine and trying to explain that to my dad is like trying to get water out of a rock, impossible for him to understand why i need medication. his response once was to "eat more foods that has serotonin in it" what?!!

Thanks again for your reply.

[PamelaR]

Hi Katniss

Funny you should say - you don't hear very often men being open and honest about depression/anxiety. It took me a very long time to get hubby to talk openly and to acknowledge he was anxious. Threats of me leaving finally made him change. Good to hear your current boyfriends is supportive.

I too have anxiety and depression but for different reasons. Change and not knowing what's going to happen through are not my triggers. Change and the unknown in fact help me to lessen the impact of my bouts because it gives me something positive to think about and to act on.

Being anxious about things doesn't mean you're a silly billy, just someone who thinks about things differently. What's really goods is you recognise your thoughts maybe not necessarily true or correct. That's great and that's half the battle for managing and coping with anxiety. So talking with others helps to challenge one's thoughts. Coming here to our forums is one way of doing that if you don't have someone around.

How difficult it is when people, e.g. your dad, don't understand what's happening for you when you become anxious and/or depressed. Medication does help (I've been on it for years now), as does all the tools my psychologist has given me over the years.

Great to have you here Katniss. Keep in touch when you need or want to.

Kind regards

PamelaR