New hello .

[ShinySparkly]

Hi. I am new here. 41 female. I have been on Meds when I had my daughter a few years back for overwhelming feelings. Anyway been off them for 8 months and all good. But just recently had what I feel is back stabbing by a so called friend. It has upset me very deeply and I realise it is probably upset me more than it should and I need help to get me through. I feel very very upset every day. Taking over my days. It's only day 2 since another so call friend told me to get help as I am " pushing people away" this has also deeply hurt me and is glued in my head right now , so I guess I am on here to seek support as my so called friends have had enough. I feel like a total freak , weirdo at the moment with no friends . I have been made to feel like I am very wrong to feel like this by people I thought might have been a shoulder. I wish I could be someone else for a day to see how peole see me. I can never keep friends , people are all nice to start off with but soon disapear. As soon as I meet anyone new now I straight away I feel anxious . I am married to the most wonderful hubby who is my rock. Phew I have done it at last Thanks for reading . This is my first positive step . I woke up this morning with the same things in my head and decided today was the day to get the ball rolling. First joining this group and secondly made an appointment with my very caring GP tomorrow.

[JessF]

Hello ShinySparkly, I am a very anxious person by nature and for many years found myself second guessing people's opinions about me. I still do on occasion. Healthy long-term friendships will always involve conflict at some point. Sometimes friends will say and do things that hurt us. What does interest me is that more than one of your friends appears to be concerned about you, to the point where they have suggested you get help because you are pushing people away. Now, they may not have chosen the most sensitive way of saying this to you, but often those who are closest to us and care about us the most will express their feelings in anger or frustration. If your friends didn't care about you, they would have said nothing at all.

Did you ask your friend what you had been doing to make her say this to you?

[ShinySparkly]

Hi JessF . Thanks fir your reply. Without sounding like a silly teenager in a playground here's the lead up. The friend is only a facebook friend and someone I see at a Playgroup. I was having a conversation on facebook with a friend about how my other friend had really hurt me and I was really not sleeping. This started because I wrote a facebook post about not sleeping again the previous night. No names were mentioned . Now someone on my friends list decided to take screen shots of this conversation and send them to her ( the one who back stabbed me) .She was blocked and my FB security is limited to friends only so no one other than my friends can see my facebook page. It could only be one of four ladies from Playgroup who would know whom I was talking about and pass on this info., I asked these ladies if it was any if them. That's when this one friend got very annoyed at being asked. I thought I had every right to be annoyed that someone chose to take screen shots of my conversation. But this friend saw it as me needing help. On meeting up with another very close friend today she thinks I am not depressed but angry at being hurt and then betrayed by a facebook friend. She has known me for over 6 years so knows me pretty well.

[ShinySparkly]

I forgot to add the friend I saw today is prob the only one who has stayed my friend for a long time and she says she doesn't see me pushing people away.

[geoff]

hi ShinySparkly, this must have been brewing on your mind whether or not you should post a comment because of a reaction that you wouldn't like, but that's not how this site works, we understand and accept everything that people tell us, so we try and help them, so I'm pleased that you're come here.
When anyone gets this feeling whether it's depression or some other form of this illness, our friends, the people who were once our friends can't handle someone they have known for a long time struggling with this feeling, it's too much for them to handle and decide to go away, leave you and probably will for ever.
That's what's so upsetting because we have helped them through difficult times ourselves and now they won't help you, 'I scratch your back and you scratch my back' no longer exists.
Has this been going on for a long time and if you answer yes then a person with depression exhibits a per-se attitude in life, not that you are meaning to, but they can never be cheered up, made to be happy or negative in how they behave or what they say, that's what happes when you have depression, so these other people can pick that up and then want to not see you again.
This isn't your fault, you can't stop depression from beginning, because it can creep up before you even know.
You have now made the right choice because there will be many others who feel the same as you and will respond back to you as well, but I really hope that you can stay on the site, and maybe talk about what you do and what your interests are. Geoff. x

[ShinySparkly]

Hi Geoff. Thankyou for reading and replying to my posts. I am grateful for any advice and thats why I joined this site. It's hard to see yourself from someone else's point of veiw. I have been trying to look at myself as people might see me.I am always told I am lovely and caring I will do anything fir anyone. You hit the nail on the head with the you scratch my back and I will scratch your back. I have helped out the people who have now chosen to not be there for me in my hour of need, and this is hurting a lot. I think maybe yes sometimes I might be a little negative and I am always labelled the quiet one , so maybe I am rather boring too ! I an definitely going to stay on the site and work my way through the other posts see if there's ways I can help myself . Thanks again .