dear Elephant, I wonder whether your husband is in denial, not wanting to know that perhaps you could have BPD, because what you have said indicates that this could be so, but it could also be because of the alcohol or drugs, but I'm unable to diagnose you.
When we have to see a doctor we always have hesitation, worry, apprehension and fear, because we don't want to be told what we have or what we should stop doing.
When I was depressed my doctor and psychologist kept on telling me to stop drinking alcohol, because I was self medicating with it, and I knew that this discussion would always be discussed on every visit, but I couldn't stop going because I needed scripts from the doctor and counselling from the psychologist.
Moving back home after 10 years could mean that people have moved on or got jobs, husbands/wives in another area, but your confidence seems to be very low, hence the reason for abusing alcohol and drugs, but you need someone who will listen to you, accept what you are struggling with and then start a program which will give you some confidence and medication which could help you. Geoff. x
