Members new and old, introduce yourselves here

Chris_B · ‎01-07-2014

Hi everyone,

This is (what will hopefully become) a mega-thread for members, new and old, to introduce themselves. I'll kick off:

My name is Chris Banks and I’m the online communities manager at beyondblue. Basically, I’m here to help out, contribute to discussions, and answer any questions you may have about beyondblue. I work with a team of moderators behind-the-scenes who keep the forums running 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.

I’m 37, originally from New Zealand, and have worked as a filmmaker, journalist, and musician. I’ve spent a good chunk of time working in the mental health sector too. I have lived experience of bipolar disorder, depression and anxiety, and have been living in Melbourne for nearly two years. In my spare time I enjoy movies, music, hanging out with mates, and I barrack for Hawthorn, much to the disgust of some of our regular members!

I’m not a psychologist or counsellor (although I have seen a fair few of them), so I can’t give medical advice. Like everyone else here, I can provide peer support only.
I really enjoy being part of the community and virtually meeting the many different people of all ages who come through everyday, even if they're not feeling the best when they arrive on the doorstep. Hopefully in your time here you'll feel less alone, and pick up some tips and encouragement for the journey.

(passes on the talking stick)

PLEASE NOTE: This thread is for introductions only, if you have an issue you would like to discuss ongoing with the community, please start a new thread with your topic in the appropriate section.

Chris_B · ‎19-05-2015

Hi all, great to see so many new members joining and posting for the first time.

This thread is a great place to break the ice and introduce yourself, if you're wanting to further discuss your specific situation and get support from other members, then please start a new thread in the section that best suits.

Tryingtobeme · ‎19-05-2015

Thanks Pixie, Pipsy and Chris i am here to find help and offer help as much as i can so i will start a new thread.... i know that my journey is going to be difficult but it will definately be worth it for sure! I have had enough of suffering under the silent hands of my abuser!

pipsy · ‎19-05-2015

Hi. I wish you the best of luck in all you do. It's sad you've had to make such a difficult decision, under such trying circumstances. Hopefully with the passage of time, you can put it all behind you. I think you're incredibly brave. Keep in touch. There's heaps of support with BB.

Monty0401 · ‎20-05-2015

Hi Tilly I to suffer depression and anxiety and have done for 30 years and yes I too have hidden this from the world. People are so surprised when they find out I have depression. It is what they call coping depression. I also have lived in a volatile relationship for 35 years and lived in a home as a child with a violent father. Just recently I split from my husband as I could no longer cope with his violent outbursts and anger. I wanted him to get help and at the time I wasn't coming back. A lot has happened and now I am back and trying to cope. we are seeing a marriage counsellor and we are both seeing individual physiologists. I feel like I am drowning with this depression. Every day is a struggle to get out of bed as I no longer work, kids are all living in WA and I am in QLD. Counsellors help but I want to find a group of like minded people to just sit and talk and on the days that you can barely cope ring them and just talk as they understand. I want to go and do things for myself but haven't a clue as all I have ever done is raise kids and look after a house and follow my husband. I used to be a strong person once but I have nearly hit rock bottom and I struggle daily just with surviving. I have started a journal for on the days that are really bad I turn to my journal and it does help, but I am hoping by chatting like this with people in my situation I will get some more support. monty0401

Monty0401 · ‎20-05-2015

I hear what you are saying, in a work place no one even knows the demons you fight on a daily basis. You put on the brave front so no one knows and you think to your self if you only new what my life was really like you wouldn't even talk to me. People that think they know you are so shocked to find out about your depression and that's only because you learn to hide it so well.

I have been on medication for 10 years but have had depression for 30 odd years. No worthwhile drugs back in those days and they didn't believe in depression back then, they just told you to cheer up or its just baby blues. I am now addicted to this medication and it just keeps above the black hole I hover over daily. I have counselling also but find that is only a short fix. I don't want to go the alcohol path as this is just another depressant and in the long run just makes it worse. We are not losers we are just lost souls trying to survive daily and some days are better or worse than others. There are lots of us out there and I know that doesn't help but at least we are not on our own.

Mz13114 · ‎20-05-2015

Hi, I jumped the gun and went straight onto another page. Not sure about forum ettiquette but I have checked it out now. I'm here because the grief I have is so much harder than the previous years of depression. I was on antidepressants then and they helped me. Since I lost my precious 23 year old son to suicide on 13th Jan, 2014 I have looked at life and people in a very different way.

Isolation and having a wide berth given to me from family and friends has been frustrating and initially upsetting. Anyway, I look forward to getting a more insightful education here and I hope I can learn to live with more understanding of people and never be afraid to speak of our Gus whenever I wish.

Thanks Mel for letting me be part of your's and Gus's journey at the BB charity ball. It's hard putting a voice to my pain. I hope it helps.

A_Tech · ‎20-05-2015

Hi DustyMB,

Already I can see that your taking the right steps to help yourself. Your seeing a psychologist (as is pretty much EVERYONE on this forum) and your now here, so well done to you!!!

When you say due to a job change that didn't work out, are you still working there or that one of the issues?

I myself have suffered depression in the past, but currently my major problem is PTSD and Anxiety, also caused by work, but probably different circumstances. I have worked for the last 10 years in a trauma hospital in theatres as an Aneasthetic Technician, where we worked a rotating roster that covered days, nights, evenings, weekends, public holidays and of course the good old 'on call' situation.

Exceptional lack of support from management, or any sort of debriefing to daily horrific things that we were exposed to, is what eventually ended me at this point. I haven't been able to work now for 8 months, I have flashbacks and panics attacks pretty much daily still.

But on the upside, and yes I like to think that there is one, I have the BEST support possible for me. My husband and I have been together for 20yrs and has always been by my side through EVERYTHING! The depression I spoke of, the first time was as a teenager, no family support, the second time was after we had our son 18 years ago. I was pretty bad, I did spend a decent time in hospital, but I did eventually get well. That's what led me on my path to want to help others by doing the job I did.

I also have the best GP ever, I've been seeing her since my son was born, and I found a psychologist that suits ME perfectly. A couple of very close friends, the rest freaked out and couldn't handle it, and of course recently I found this forum!

There will still be bad days until your well again, but remember those are the days that we are all here ready and waiting to listen or talk.

Its taken me a very long time to realise that I am actually not alone!!! Neither are you or anyone else on this forum, as you have done, you just have to trust in knowledge that so many people suffer every day, but just reach out and you WILL find someone waiting to help.

I hope this helps you to not feel so alone. Take care,

Donna

A_Tech · ‎20-05-2015

Hi Masked101,

I know that sometimes we say to people 'you sound just like me', so they don't feel so alone, but seriously! you are describing me and my life in your post!!!I

I am also 40yrs old, have an 18yr old son and both my husband and son are truely amazing and supportive, but I know sometimes it's really hard for them to understand.

I have also suffered depression of and on most of my life (although currently my issue is PTSD). I too came from a pretty screwed up family, who I've had a little contact as I can for as long as I can remember. Except for one brother, my little bro, we were always close, but due to his por choices that I definitely believe our upbringing had a huge part to play in, he has been in prison for the last two years. He was, apart from my husband, the only friend I could truely trust!

Ive spent the last 10yrs working in theatres in a trauma hospital (hence the PTSD) surrounded by hundreds of people, in a highly stressful environment at times, where most of us would use alcohol as a survival tool but no one would actually talk about it.

I was very upset and disappointed at the reaction I received from my collegues when I started taking time off work, showing signs of stress and eventually having to resign due to the PTSD. Of all the people in the world, you would think that medical staff would understand, not were I was!

But I too used to cry driving home most evenings, not from the work always but from the feelings of isolation and self hatred. I've not been working now for 8 months, lots of suicidal thoughts in the beginning but not so much now, thankfully.

I also avoid social situations if I can, I can't stand most people either, they just seem so fake! So I stay at home with my two gorgeous dogs and just try to enjoy being me. Some days it works, other days it doesn't.

Anyway I just wanted to say hi, I really couldn't believe that there wa someone that sounded just like me and my life.

I hope your doing ok, but if you want to chat I'm on the forum quite often.

Take care,

Donna 😁

A_Tech · ‎20-05-2015

Hey Super Nurse,

Thank you for your message and I hope you got my reply. I was just reading another post you from you on the forum and wanted to see how your doing.

I can completely understand the avoidance, that's one of my coping mechinisms too. That and a bit of alcohol!!!! That's a secret though ok??? I also am a HUGE chocolate lover!

What type of dogs do you have? My two babies are Jack Russell crosses (not sure with what as we adopted them from a rescue centre) and I couldn't be without them. Both complete different personalities which I absolutely adore.

Anway, I just wanted to say that I was thinking of you and please take care.

Donna.

SeventyEight · ‎22-05-2015

Hi all

I don't suffer from depression but sometimes have anxiety. I am on here more because my wife suffers from it. We have 3 beautiful children (who can test us), my job has me travelling a lot and we are expats (which comes with a whole pile of separate stresses).

My wife has been diagnosed with OCD and general anxiety. I have watched how she has really struggled the past few years and is trying hard to be the person she was before. She is on medication and there are good days and bad days.

I am joining because I need to be able to talk about the challenges we face. My wife is my best friend but I can't about the challenges and frustrations I have with being a husband to someone with depression with her - I don't want to burden her with that as she has enough to deal with. I guess while on here I want to learn what helps other people, how partners can support loved ones productively and sometimes just to have an outlet in a safe place.

As someone from another country it can be very hard to find someone to confide in as we have no family and all our friends are "couple" friends. Sometimes I feel like a useless bystander at an accident scene - I can see that someone needs help but I have no idea what to do that won't make things worse.

I think it would be healthy for me to share and ask for help here instead of bottling these emotions up (and I have a very bad track record when it comes to dealing with my own emotions).

I want to be the best support for my wife that I can be, but I realise that in order to do that - I need to be in the right space mentally and emotionally.

Thanks and look forward to chatting in the future