Members new and old, introduce yourselves here

[Chris_B]

Hi everyone,

This is (what will hopefully become) a mega-thread for members, new and old, to introduce themselves.  I'll kick off:

My name is Chris Banks and I’m the online communities manager at beyondblue. Basically, I’m here to help out, contribute to discussions, and answer any questions you may have about beyondblue. I work with a team of moderators behind-the-scenes who keep the forums running 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.

I’m 37, originally from New Zealand, and have worked as a filmmaker, journalist, and musician.  I’ve spent a good chunk of time working in the mental health sector too. I have lived experience of bipolar disorder, depression and anxiety, and have been living in Melbourne for nearly two years. In my spare time I enjoy movies, music, hanging out with mates, and I barrack for Hawthorn, much to the disgust of some of our regular members!

I’m not a psychologist or counsellor (although I have seen a fair few of them), so I can’t give medical advice. Like everyone else here, I can provide peer support only.
I really enjoy being part of the community and virtually meeting the many different people of all ages who come through everyday, even if they're not feeling the best when they arrive on the doorstep. Hopefully in your time here you'll feel less alone, and pick up some tips and encouragement for the journey.  

(passes on the talking stick)

PLEASE NOTE: This thread is for introductions only, if you have an issue you would like to discuss ongoing with the community, please start a new thread with your topic in the appropriate section.

[hop3y13]

Hi All,

I'm a 36 yr old woman and I suffered with  depression for 23 years before I was diagnosed and treated as having Bi-polar disorder. Like everybody else here my life has been a constant roller coaster ride, ups and downs, highest of highs and the lowest of lows. I self harm when I feel worthless or when a situation pops up that upsets and angers me. Most of the time I don't know im doing it until hours later. I've also attempted suicide twice. Now i constantly take medication and most of the time it helps and allows me to live a normal life but every now and then I find myself spiraling downwards to that dark place for no reason at all. 

With alot of reading and research I've managed to get to a point where I can talk myself through those negative thoughts, and  prevent myself from living on the lounge for the next week. As a single mum alls i really want, is to be a happy, healthy and hands on mum and I'm doing everything I possibly can to Make that happen. 

Would love to talk to  others and share stories, seek advice etc 

[PurpleShade]

Hi There

I'm new here but not new to mental illness.  I have suffered from depression since I was 16 (now 40) and have tumbled through many ups and downs. I also have body dysmorphic disorder and this has been something I've struggled with since my teens (my weight fluctuates like a Yo-Yo) it has been so crippling that I have spent hours trying to find something to wear and ended up not going out and falling in a sobbing heap on my bed.  I rarely like my body,  I have learn't to deal by not thinking about it but the truth is, I'm mostly disgusted by how I look. I have some managed periods where I'm great and all is going well and other times where I crash and burn.  Recently I hit a wall where I realised I needed to slow down as I have been so distressed and hitting the black hole of madness.

For the first time ever I decided to accept the Dr's suggestion of medication,  I'm abit scared and unsure about it all but I'm desperate, its been a tough few months and I'm really over not being able to trust my ability to manage my day.

I have recently made an appointment to see a psychologist again.  I don't enjoy the process but the alternative is worse.

So thats abit about what's in my head.

Look forward to getting to know you a little

Cheers 

I

[geoff]

dear All, there are so many new people who have posted under this particular post, which is really good for you to do so, but now do you feel comfortable to post on the open site where all of us can talk to you.

It doesn't matter whether you have overcome depression or not, because it's always great to have new people join the rest of us. Geoff.

[PurpleShade]

To be honest, I'm not sure where to start o.O 

[KateyM]

Hi There! My name is Katey, Im 23 and Ive battled with depression since I was 14. Without the help of medication and CBT, I have regular thoughts of suicide and find social activities to be overwhelming. I recently came home and discovered my housemate had been silently battling depression, and unfortunately had lost his battle. Never have I had a more real 'smack in the face' about why suicide is not the answer to my problems. His pain had not gone, it was just spread among the many faces who came to say goodbye to him a few days later.

Depression runs in my family, as does social anxiety. I beleive mine was triggered by constant bullying during school (Ive always been an independent person who gets along better with the opposite sex , in junior high this did not fare well for me). And while I was strong enough to rise above the bullying and know who my real friends were, I still to this day question all my friendships and wonder if they really do like me and want to spend time with me, or im just that annoying friend or the last option thats only slightly better than being bored.

Counselling, medication and CBT have helped me immensely and helped me to try and retrain my brain to not have this dark and paranoid thoughts and in October last year I was trialled off my medication and went well. Unfortunately the passing of my close friend was to much and I am now back on my medication, but determined to get back into 'remission'. 

I hope that by sharing my fight, that maybe others will. That the stigma around mental health may be lifted, and that no one will ever have to feel like they must silently suffer as my friend did. 

I share my fight in loving memory of Christopher. The best friend I could have ever asked for, the most amazing housemate, and the most infectious smile Ive ever seen xx. RIP. 

beyondblue’s clinically-trained moderators often work offline (invisible to you) on issues relating to suicide or self-harm. At the same time, general supportive comments from the community are encouraged. If you have concerns around suicide or self-harm, please phone our support service on 1300 22 4636.

[KateyM]

Hi, i am also NOR Perth. Im not sure what the guidelines are for contact outside this website, but if its permitted, Id love to make it known to you that im never far away if you ever need a chat x

[lilah_2_1_]

Dear everyone

This would be the first time publicly announcing my battle with depression and anxiety . (to strangers )

I'm 21 years old and have been fighting tooth an nail with this since before I can remember. At age 15 I was diagnosed with chronic depression with manic tendancies and serve anxiety disorder .

I was bullied all through out school as well as dealing with an abusive partner & family issues. Looking back now, it's a wonder how I made it through , how I survived. 

I have been to more phycologists than I can count , have done everything in the book that you're supposed to do " deal with depression " but nothing has worked . I think to myself a lot " I'm too young to feel like this, I'm too young to feel so old " 

I've dealt with eating disorders and have been on a lot of medication! 

Then I met a woman...my current partners mum actually , and oh man, did she change my world, the sun shone brighter , and I had all this love for her , she was my bestest friend like a mother And my biggest fan . she would always encourage me to do these type of things   to get better , to pre pare me for what was about to come....

She had terminal cancer. And I watched my best friend disappear. I nursed her for months before she passed on. And all of a sudden Ive found myself fallen too far to reach.

So this ones for you B. To continue everything you taught me. To keep fighting. I love you.

[pipsy]

Hi, my name is Pipsy.  I joined BB last October when my depression was at it's most controlling.  Through BB I've learned to put it behind me.  I still have my 'moment's', but overall I'm stronger.  I am married, that's all I will say, no children, which in my case was a blessing.  Didn't think so when I was younger, but I couldn't have cared properly for children when I was younger.  I would've loved to have at least one, but it wasn't to be.  With the depression, I have been to Hell and back several times, but now the blackness has lifted and I'm really enjoying my life.  If anyone wants to make contact, I'd love to hear from you.  There is no easy, hard, fast answer to overcome depression, the pain is different for everyone.  With some people, it's inherited, with some it's circumstances beyond their control.  In my particular case, it was a little of both.  I'm awkward, lol.  Whatever the case, never forget, you are NOT alone, that's the key.  Help is available, unfortunately, YOU have to reach out, that takes courage.  Overcome that hurdle, you're halfway there.

Regards, Pip.

[Rodjama]

Hello everyone!

I think I have turned into a 'broken' man, I say this because I'm sick of being patient with a situation in my life that is beyond my control. Last night was the most restless night of sleep I've had in years, so now I feel quite jet lagged just typing this..

Anyway, I have a question, Is it possible for someone to have what is known as 'clinical depression' and not know it?  I have done some research on the net, and I fit some of the points in those 'checklists' that we see on various sites.

We all have our coping mechanisms, but the time has come, whereby mine don't work that well anymore.. but I do all the recommended things like good diet, regular exercise etc...

I don't want to repeat the intricacies of my problem here again, but I have sent an email instead to the support services on this site for further advice.

However, in the meantime, glad this website is here, the taboo of mental health has too be broken and this site helps a lot.. after all it's the 21st century right and the 'dark ages' were over a millennium ago..

[pipsy]

Hi Rodjama, my name is Pipsy.  In answer to your question, yes it is possible to have 'clinical' depression and not ADMIT to it.  There are none so critical as yourself when it comes to self diagnosis.  It's not just a question of good diet, exercise etc.  The hardest part is seeking help.  All the research in the world won't give you the answers about yourself, because the research is general.  We're all different, unique, depression affects us differently.  Research will give you a generalized overview of what's 'supposed' to happen, but it won't cover the early hours of the morning when sleep evades you.  You're right the taboo of mental health has to be broken and our voice through BB must be heard and recognized.  I've suffered with depression for years, some inherited, some through circumstances beyond my control.  Once I realized I needed help, that was half the battle won.  It's an addiction, a disease like any other and needs to be addressed.  Medication helps, but public recognition of this chronic, debilitating illness needs to be understood, so that the sufferers can get the help they need, without the STIGMA.  Diabetes sufferers can get help, without question, so to should people with depression.  My depression is more or less under control, I still have my days, but, because of BB and (in my case, my church), I do get support and help when I need it.  Better get off my soapbox.

All the best.  Pipsy.