Members new and old, introduce yourselves here

[Chris_B]

Hi everyone,

This is (what will hopefully become) a mega-thread for members, new and old, to introduce themselves.  I'll kick off:

My name is Chris Banks and I’m the online communities manager at beyondblue. Basically, I’m here to help out, contribute to discussions, and answer any questions you may have about beyondblue. I work with a team of moderators behind-the-scenes who keep the forums running 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.

I’m 37, originally from New Zealand, and have worked as a filmmaker, journalist, and musician.  I’ve spent a good chunk of time working in the mental health sector too. I have lived experience of bipolar disorder, depression and anxiety, and have been living in Melbourne for nearly two years. In my spare time I enjoy movies, music, hanging out with mates, and I barrack for Hawthorn, much to the disgust of some of our regular members!

I’m not a psychologist or counsellor (although I have seen a fair few of them), so I can’t give medical advice. Like everyone else here, I can provide peer support only.
I really enjoy being part of the community and virtually meeting the many different people of all ages who come through everyday, even if they're not feeling the best when they arrive on the doorstep. Hopefully in your time here you'll feel less alone, and pick up some tips and encouragement for the journey.  

(passes on the talking stick)

PLEASE NOTE: This thread is for introductions only, if you have an issue you would like to discuss ongoing with the community, please start a new thread with your topic in the appropriate section.

[Princess]

Hi to all,

I'm Princess and I've just turned 57 years young.  I am in my second marriage with a wonderful man.  I have 3 children aged 30, 28 and 27 and my step son is 34.  I have 2 adorable grandsons aged 4 and 2.

I was only recently diagnosed with depression but I believe looking back I may have had it longer than I realised.  I'm just glad I did finally see it for what it was and did something about it.

I work in real estate with my hubby (Only been doing this for 10 months), prior to that I worked for two newspapers.  Got made redundant last year and had to find a new form of employment.

Was molested as a child, my parents were strict Europeans and my father wished I had been a boy.  Childhood was nothing special.  Good relationship with my mum though I would never talk to her about intimate things - it was never discussed in the house anyway.  My dad is a lover of money and spends all his energy on building his 'empire'.  As children he never had time for my brother and I and nothing has changed.  He only calls predominantly when he needs something.  No relationship with him at all and having phone ID is awesome cos when I see his number I let it go straight to message bank. (Technology does have its advantages)

Love my kids, love my grandkids and in general enjoy the simple things in life. I keep my friendships to a minimum as I've been 'shafted' in the past by so called friends, so I am very wary of being or getting too close with people.  Have a couple of good friends but that's it.

I am so glad I discovered Beyond Blue - it's my 'release' if you will, where I can talk to people who are going through what I'm going through and everyone really does give a damn. 

I work for an awesome company who have been so supportive when they found out about my depression.  Turns out I wasn't the only one so that in itself was 'good' for me.

I enjoy (or used to enjoy) doing pencil portraits, art, music, rock n roll dancing, jive dancing and even had a crack at Lindy Hop.  I like going out for meals (occasionally) or going to see a movie that's not always made in the USA - I prefer European movies.  I love being near water and doing just simple things as this is what can be the greatest of pleasures for me.

Happy to make everyone's acquaintance on here.

[georga23]

Hello everyone!

My name is Georga I’m 20 years of age and have been living with depression since the young age of 10, I’m new to the site and beyond blue but so far am impressed with the amount of support I have received.

I lived on my own but have moved in with my mother and her partner after mum had a heart attack and I lost my job and broke up with my ex. it has been a crazy year!

I’ve only been medicated for two years to treat my depression and anxiety; witch thus far is not improving my situation, especially with recent events...

I steer clear of friends and family, as I feel like more of a nuisance...

I am currently studying beauty therapy, which I love, although I tend to segregate myself from the class. I have two kittens, two dogs, eight horses, three chooks, and one crazy mother to look after. So my days are busy and tiring.

I hope to join conversations and chat about other peoples personal experiences with depression and anxiety. thanks guys!

GHA

[--Mark--]

Hi everyone,

my name is Mark, I'm 42, and I live in Adelaide. I have been diagnosed with Bipolar, Depression, Anxiety and Post Traumatic Stress (as a result of childhood sexual abuse), and have somehow managed to survive multiple suicide attempts which started in my early teens. I'm really not sure what else to write...I am married though separated, have 3 kids (16, 13 & 11).

The last year has been one of the toughest of my life, and I'm still struggling more often than not. I used to enjoy football, was a trainer for the state level of my club and was asked to go up to the national level of my club, but these days, even though my club is doing very well, I can't focus on them. I used to play a lot of sport. I was run over by a car and had both ankles shattered.

I am an educator, and, to put it bluntly and concisely, was stood down last year based on unfounded allegations of a student. Was investigated by the Gvt and police, found to have nothing to answer to. But, the emotional damage incurred, compounded my already diagnosed depression and anxiety, and the context of the allegation, brought my childhood flooding back.

I'm so glad that Beyond Blue exists, and am very thankful to the people on here who post. There's always someone to chat to, even if you don't really feel like it. There's always someone out there that needs some kind or wise words, and it warms the soul to be able to help once in a while.

Thank you all. I doubt I'd still be here if it weren't for you.

[Wilo]

G'day all,

just joined so saying G'day.  I'm 51 and blessed will a loving wife & 2 wonderful sons (17 & 20  - we're hoping they both turn back into humans again soon 🙂 ).  I'm probably fairly successful in my career.  I struggled on & off with depression for over 10 years to the stage suicide seemed a viable life choice before I got serious in doing what I needed to do to recover. 

But I have now been depression free for about 3 years.  I'm very vigilant to signs of depression triggers & still have to pull myself up from time to time but I feel like I've got this.  I'm certainly not complacent, I know how bad I felt for so long & there's no way I want to go back there.

But life is good & I'm back to laughing & being able to appreciate the many blessings that are in my life.  I want to do something to help others not go where I went or maybe help others that are already there.  I work in a big organisation & want to help my colleagues.  I recently wrote down my story & have given it to my bosses in the hope it could used to remove the stigma & give some impetus to helping others somehow.

It seems like the planets have aligned & I've done this at a time when the organisation has decided to take significant steps to address mental health issues.  I feel there is a genuine will at our highest levels to make mental health a priority &  I've been selected to participate in a working group for Psychological Wellbeing with our Executive & others.  So really exciting times & that's why I'm here.  To get ideas & to try & appreciate what the journey through mental illness is like for others.

So thanks for having me and my thoughts, prayers & best wishes for all the poor buggers that have to struggle with this terrible affliction.  Depression has taught me so much like how important it is to actually appreciate your blessings.  They are there even in your deepest depression but they're bloody hard to see through the darkness.  No matter how hard, find them & try to appreciate them as best you can depending on where you're at.  If you can't do it on the bad days at first make a really big effort on you're good days.  It was one of the things that started to turn things for me.

Remember too that people can walk the road with you but they can't walk the road for you.  So, as hard as it is, you've got to do what ever work you need to do to yourself but you don't have to do it by yourself.  There's a big difference.

Kind Regards - Wilo

[Jimboe737]

Hello,

I have just joined and am struggling with how best to help my adult daughter deal with her chronic depression.  She lives in a provincial city 2 hours away from the capital city where I reside so I don't get to see her very often.  She has been diagnosed with and treated for depression for several years and sees a psychiatrist routinely.  She takes medication, that seems to help her to cope, but there is little sign of recovery.

I called to say hello last night, after returning from an overseas holiday.  She answered the phone, which is encouraging, given that she often doesn't answer when I call and hasn't got message bank on her home phone. When she doesn't answer I usually call her mobile, which often is also unanswered, but I can leave a message.  It is usual for me to have to leave several before she responds or eventually picks up a call I make.

I didn't raise the subject but we had a good talk about where she is at in terms of her recovery.  Fortunately, she had seen her psychiatrist yesterday, something she raised, which enabled me to discuss her condition in more detail than usual.  I try to keep conversations light hearted unless she sounds distressed or wants to talk about it.  The advice she received was consistent with some I gave her 6 months ago, which is reassuring for me and she sounded positive about trying to apply it.

This development in our relationship gives me hope that she might start on the road to recovery and take some action to try to help herself.  I did ask if she believed she could possibly recover and whether or not she really wanted to recover.  I went on to say that I believed her central focus needed to be on her recovery and that her mission in life should be finding a way that will work for her.  I told her I love her and if she ever thinks that I'm saying too much she could tell me to shut up without hurting my feelings. The conversation ended on a positive note and I suggested that I visit next week while her children are on school holidays.  She agreed, so that too is encouraging.

That's essentially my story, but I wonder if anyone in a similar situation can advise me about how best to now help her?  She hasn't asked for help and her condition was concealed from me for several years but I'm not getting younger and would love to see her functioning well.  If possible, I would like to help while I'm still able to do so.

I would appreciate good counsel from anyone who might be able to advise.

Cheers!  

[jimgoose]

Hi im jimgoose {not my real name} sorry trust issues.I was coping fine up until a few days ago when things became overwhelming .Reluctantly saw my doctor and are having the cat team visit me soon.Jut thinking that when i was carefree 33ish years ago and that i could never have understood self harm. Last night i took my first tablet  and  me being me i had to check that i wasn't being tricked  that it really was only a placebo tablet.Any way i got a good sleep but have a  bit of a headache.I have two kids 17 and 13 and a understanding missus.And this is my first post.

[--Mark--]

Hi Jimboe,

sounds positive, and you have done well to reach out to your daughter. My advice would be to continue to be there for her. Listen when she wants to talk. Let her know you're there for her when she doesn't. 

Mark

[AGrace]

Hi jimgoose,

Welcome to Beyondblue. Thanks for sharing your story.

Rather than fill thi introduction thread with a response for you, I'll start a new thread under the DEPRESSION tab titled PLACEBO MEDICATION.

Glad to have you with us.

AGrace

[--Danny--]

Hi Chris & welcome everyone new to Beyond Blue, I'm only a newbie but have found this place amazing 😃 my story goes like this..I grew up in a poor family, housing commission, no parents worked..they were always fighting, threatening suicide, blaming me for everything that sucked in there life...I was a referee in the domestic fights from a young age..both my parents suffer schizophrenia...they had fights everywhere..public places, school concerts, friends & families homes...embarrassing...I felt ashamed of everything & myself since age 7..sometimes I wanted to run away & kill myself...I never really got physically abused, but mental abuse was showered on me..the mental abuse still happens..I don't listen to them anymore but I was under there spell for 28 years of my life..them making me feel ashamed, guilty, worthless, no good....my father hasn't worked in 30 years & never provided  properly..as a kid I really hated my life..everyone teased me about my parents, no money, no car, crappy clothes, I used to get called povo..when I started high school, I suffered horrendous acne, I couldnt look anyone in the eyes..so ashamed of what I looked like..I cant ever remember a time in my life where I wasn't depressed or anxious, my childhood sucked!! Age 15/16 I turn into a binge drinking alcoholic, age 23 I start smoking weed daily & haven't stopped since..I smoked & drank my problems away for 16 years...I have 4 children & a beautiful wife...alcohol really started to cause major problems in my life so I quit a month ago & haven't drank since..weed is the next to quit...I'm on anti depressants that worked in the past & hopefully they work once again. I am struggling to comprehend what normal is? I have never felt normal, always felt a cloud hovering over me..in some dark times I've contemplated suicide but never went through with it..my kids mean the world to me & I couldnt do it to them..the only people I'm close with are my wife & children..after my childhood lessons, I don't trust many people, & I keep a distance from as many people as I can..guilt, shame, anxiety, panic, depression, all these feelings are all I know..without these feelings, I wouldn't be me...how do I behave without these feelings in my head? Am I institutionalised with anxiety/depression? I don't know a life without it....

beyondblue's clinically trained moderators often work offline (invisible to you) on issues relating to suicide or self-harm. At the same time, general supportive comments from the community are encouraged. If you have concerns around suicide or self-harm, please contact our support service on 1300 224 636.

[Totogirl]

Hi I have been having a online romance for 7mths now I love this guy the problem is he went overseas to work and took his daughter with him and she had an accident and was put in hospital January and he says he carnt leave the country until his hospital bill is paid and he carnt use his bank I suffer depression and just lately I don't know what to do I think he could be a scammer even though we talk on the phone everyday I find face book profiles with his photo and differant names he says it's not him as when he lost his wallet his USB was in his wallet and gas his personal stuff on it I feel so low these days as he still carnt say when he will be home I have no one to talk to my family just say his a scammer I love this guy I have a son 12 and a daughter 20 if I didn't have them I would just give up but I love this guy and it just hurts