Members new and old, introduce yourselves here

[Chris_B]

Hi everyone,

This is (what will hopefully become) a mega-thread for members, new and old, to introduce themselves.  I'll kick off:

My name is Chris Banks and I’m the online communities manager at beyondblue. Basically, I’m here to help out, contribute to discussions, and answer any questions you may have about beyondblue. I work with a team of moderators behind-the-scenes who keep the forums running 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.

I’m 37, originally from New Zealand, and have worked as a filmmaker, journalist, and musician.  I’ve spent a good chunk of time working in the mental health sector too. I have lived experience of bipolar disorder, depression and anxiety, and have been living in Melbourne for nearly two years. In my spare time I enjoy movies, music, hanging out with mates, and I barrack for Hawthorn, much to the disgust of some of our regular members!

I’m not a psychologist or counsellor (although I have seen a fair few of them), so I can’t give medical advice. Like everyone else here, I can provide peer support only.
I really enjoy being part of the community and virtually meeting the many different people of all ages who come through everyday, even if they're not feeling the best when they arrive on the doorstep. Hopefully in your time here you'll feel less alone, and pick up some tips and encouragement for the journey.  

(passes on the talking stick)

PLEASE NOTE: This thread is for introductions only, if you have an issue you would like to discuss ongoing with the community, please start a new thread with your topic in the appropriate section.

[Sawyer]

Hi Jasmine,

I would be more than happy to chat with you about some strategies and methods of dealing with your social anxiety disorder in different situations if you are interested. 

As Chris said, you are best off starting a new thread under the "anxiety" forum as replies may very well get lost in this enormous thread 🙂 

I have some experience in the area both directly and indirectly, and I know how debilitating it can be, but you have made the right choice by seeking help and support. It can be a huge relief just to share your story with others, but if you would like to discuss some specific strategies to deal with what you are going through as I said, I'd be more than happy to.

Sawyer

[fat_and_depressed]

Hi everyone.

I'm new here and I thought I'd share a little about myself (or my illness rather). You can call me Deb, I'm 19 and I was officially diagnosed with depression and anxiety late in 2012. Since that date I have tried 6 different antidepressants (all of which have failed to make a dent in my illness), been hospitalised 7 times, attempted suicide 4 times, suffered greatly from self harm, lost all my friends, and lost the trust and closeness I used to have from my family. I am currently suffering greatly with my depression but I'm lucky in that I am surrounded by great support services that stay by my side and do everything they can to keep me safe. I want to help others while I'm here and I have a lot of experience in Mental health to offer. On a positive note, I feel that because of everything I've been through I am now a better, more empathetic person and I am here for anyone that wants it (keep in mind I AM NOT a trained professional).

P.S. when I'm not depressed I enjoy hockey, long walks, knitting, and spending time with my pets 🙂

beyondblue's clinically-trained moderators often work offline (invisible to you) on issues relating to suicide or self-harm. At the same time, general supportive comments from the community are encouraged. If you have concerns around suicide or self-harm, please phone our support service on 1300 22 4636.

[Readyreadred]

Hi,

I’ve had anxiety and depression for many years and they were both relatively well managed until quite recently. I now have Chronic Fatigue Syndrome (or ME…or whatever it’s currently called) and the impact has been horrible.  

I’ve had CFS for about 18 months and while it is only moderate in severity, it interacts with a few other health problems, which has really slowed an already slow recovery/rehabilitation.   I have great clinical help, which swallows up most of my income, but has been invaluable. My team of medical professionals communicate with each other and work together with me to help me inch towards recovery. So clinically it’s ideal. In fact they all tell me how well I’m doing and congratulate me on working so hard.  

However, after all of my hard work I still have only achieved very small gains that are nowhere near what I used to be able to do. I’m mainly housebound and while I have (just) held down part-time work, that’s all I’ve managed to keep. I’ve lost the ability to continue with tertiary study, I’ve lost contact with friends and I have also lost the ability to participate in most physical activities (from housework to sport).  

So, I feel like I have lost a lot of myself lately and I’m really grieving for my old life. I’m finding it difficult to find the motivation to keep working towards a recovery that is likely to be months (or years away). Each day is now more than a physical struggle, it’s a psychological one too.

How on earth do other people manage to get through this?  I would love to hear from anyone who is going through something similar (such as a chronic and/or invisible illness). I would like to hear what other people do to cope day-to–day so that they can keep their sense of self and hope for the future.  

Thanks for listening,  

R

[Readyreadred]

Hi Linda,

I'm really sorry to hear what your friend (and you) are going through.

I had a very similar experience with a very close friend who had similar issues and all I can say is that, if you can, try to remember that what your friend is going through is not caused by anything you're doing. It's hard because it also means accepting that there is nothing you can do that will magically make their problems disappear. But being a constant and caring friend is a really, really precious gift. If your friend is too unwell to reciprocate your friendship now, it doesn't mean they don't understand how important your support is to them. It might just mean that for whatever reason they can't express it right now.

 Best of luck,

 R

[the_seeker]

Hi, my name is the seeker and I am sorry, I am trying to post introduction but this was all I could find. I have never been on one of these sites before and don't know how to find post without it being a reply.

I came across this site by chance and it is all so engulfing.I read the post on narcissistic behave and victims symptoms and have not stopped crying.Do you know how good it is to feel like someone really understands.It is overwhelming,I can say from the bottom of my heart.I did not think relief could cause so much pain.

The difference with my situation and the story I saw was my relationship is with my daughter and it is not something I can walk away from.We have a grandchild in the mix and I have a husband who believes that my daughter and  I just can't get along. He will not see the damage.He does see the result. All the family do but nobody sees the confusion and the lies and the deliberate conflicts where I always am confronted by a situation that she has engineered and I come out the loser. I was unaware of what was wrong with us until my husband told me to get help for myself. I did, and this is where I became aware that not only is my daughter a narcissis but that my husband says it doesnt matter . stop blaming her, I have to get over it.I know I do and I am seeking help. I don't know if it has gone on for too long but the hardest thing is to feel that it is my problem. He feels that I "need help" but doesn't realise the helplessness of my needing understanding of the situation. I am a mess and feel like at last, it is a recognised thing that people, even those who you love so much, can set out to destroy you.

It is a terrible place to be and I am constanly worried about my grandson. I can't do anything there but if I can fix myself I will be stronger for him.

[Chris_B]

Hi marsbars, welcome to the forums and thanks for posting an introduction. Sometimes families and loved ones find it difficult to understand depression and anxiety if they haven't experienced it themselves. Check out our Have The Conversation resources for tips on how to discuss it with them.

Also, have a look through the threads below and feel free to reach out to other members in them:

My description of depression to my family and friends

 How do I explain?

Unsupportive husband

 New and not sure how to get partner to understand anxiety

Feeling betrayed by family

[Chris_B]

Hi Readyreadred, welcome to the forums. Have a look through some of the threads in our Trauma and chronic physical illness forum.

These threads specifically may be of interest to you:

I have CFS (Chronic Fatigue Syndrome) and other chronic health conditions

Fatigue - how do you cope?

Sick and tired of always being sick and tired

Just can't get out of bed, so tired

And these resources from beyondblue:

Chronic physical illness, anxiety and depression

Coping with a serious health event - how to keep mentally well

[Chris_B]

Hi the seeker, welcome to the forums.

If you make your way to the Supporting Family & Friends or Relationship and family issues forum, you will see a large grey button in the top right hand corner marked 'new thread'. Click on that, and you'll be able to start your own thread so members can respond to you.

[geoff]

to all those that have posted in this 'Members New and Old' section, well I know that Chris tries to entice you over to main board in whatever section he suggests, and that's great, because I want to say to all of you that have posted a comment, is that we understand how enormous your concern is, but unfortunately many posts don't get any replies back to them, which is a total injustice to you all.

The idea of this forum is that, OK, you can introduce yourself in this section, but you won't get the help that you require unless you post your comment on the main board and when you are able to do this then replies you will get, that is, the advice, suggestions, advice and certainly help from all those that do participate on the main board will then respond back to you.

It would be a full time job to stay on in this section, but then others on the main board would get neglected, but the problem is that there are so many new people posting a comment in this Members New and Old, so that if we reply back to, it would get lost, whereas on the main board this won't happen.

So I would love to reply to each and every comment in this section that you have posted, but this would require a lot of hard work and time, but I could do this if you decided to go to the main board so that we can talk about situation. Geoff.

[crowded_but_alone]

Hi Simona, I am new to this forum as well. I found your post similar  to my situation. once I used to think same way that if my husband is not spending time with me life is nothing or life sucks!!! but it is not true. I just found out myself enjoying things without him AND without feeling guilty.(watching movie, going to friend's house). this way I don't need to nag him to be with me. but after that when we sit together, we have a lot to talk about.if you feel uncomfortable in front of lot of people, why not try walk in park with your kids? then you will still with people, even though you don't have to talk to them. then slowly you can start talking to them by just saying hello or good morning at first, then later bit more talk. you like reading so try reading books on self help. these books are real helpful. I hope this helps you. thanks