Members new and old, introduce yourselves here

[Chris_B]

Hi everyone,

This is (what will hopefully become) a mega-thread for members, new and old, to introduce themselves.  I'll kick off:

My name is Chris Banks and I’m the online communities manager at beyondblue. Basically, I’m here to help out, contribute to discussions, and answer any questions you may have about beyondblue. I work with a team of moderators behind-the-scenes who keep the forums running 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.

I’m 37, originally from New Zealand, and have worked as a filmmaker, journalist, and musician.  I’ve spent a good chunk of time working in the mental health sector too. I have lived experience of bipolar disorder, depression and anxiety, and have been living in Melbourne for nearly two years. In my spare time I enjoy movies, music, hanging out with mates, and I barrack for Hawthorn, much to the disgust of some of our regular members!

I’m not a psychologist or counsellor (although I have seen a fair few of them), so I can’t give medical advice. Like everyone else here, I can provide peer support only.
I really enjoy being part of the community and virtually meeting the many different people of all ages who come through everyday, even if they're not feeling the best when they arrive on the doorstep. Hopefully in your time here you'll feel less alone, and pick up some tips and encouragement for the journey.  

(passes on the talking stick)

PLEASE NOTE: This thread is for introductions only, if you have an issue you would like to discuss ongoing with the community, please start a new thread with your topic in the appropriate section.

[Chris_B]

Hi Dreamer89,

Welcome to the forums, and congratulations on making a first post. The social anxiety you're describing when talking to people is often discussed on the forums here. Have a look through the threads below and see if you can relate to them, and feel free to post. 

Social anxiety - by Katie101

Social anxiety - by clouise

Social anxiety - by Jukee

I can't handle the social anxiety anymore - by kelliew

Outside of mental health stuff, you're also more than welcome to post about your drawing and music in the Community Board forum.

Hope to see you posting again soon.

[Chris_B]

Hi Peter, welcome to the forums, it's really great to see you posting - depression can be as tough on loved ones as it is on the person experiencing it, and you need support as well.

Below are a couple of threads that might resonate with you, please feel free to reach out to our other members who are in carer situations. There's lots of threads in the Supporting Family and Friends forum that you might find helpful too.

Tips for caring for a loved one

My wife suffers depression and is nasty to me

Partner with depression irrational and blaming me

Coping with a partner with BPD/depression

[pipsy]

Hi ed64.  I'm 64 too, so we have something in common already, lol.  I've been writing to BB's forums since October last year and the help I've had has really helped me cope with life.  I was diagnosed (wrongly, as it turned out) with a 'Chemical Imbalance of the brain' causing depression, over 20 years ago.  I was on meds till July last year.  My depression was largely due to frustration at not being listened to by an unsympathetic husband.  His family are Narcissistic natured, with a chauvinistic father, wow, lucky me.  I now understand more now and keep my distance from his parents.  We are still together although not really as married.  I have made a life for myself through church (not everyone's cup of tea), but I'm happy.   I have found that if I can help others through BB my battles have not been in vain.  I can recognize that some people need specialist help which I can't give, but battles with meds and general assistance, if I can help, I will.  I still have frustrations (who doesn't), but I can cope with that, due to BB's marvellous forums.

Hope to hear from you again, soon.

[Helen1963]

Hi. I havent used Beyond Blue much. I have suffered from both Anxiety and Depression. I also grew up with a Mother who had severe Depression and spent a lot of time in hospital. This left me with a whole pile of baggage that has dogged me for a lifetime. My husband left me two years ago after losing his brother to Cancer and the subsequent fallout for our marriage got to breaking point. He found solace in another relationship and this was his way out of what he termed a 'loveless' marriage. My Dad also passed away from Cancer during the last year of our marriage. This destroyed any self esteem I had. Im still battling this, the anxiety and the huge chip on my shoulder that I have always had but that has worsened. I keep my Anxiety manageable and my depression at bay with exercise. I am also training in Fitness. My life has its difficulties, I have a new partner but have recently lost a job so that has contributed to my sense of worthlessness. I am reasonably isolated from friends and family as I moved away to live with this new partner. I get lonely sometimes and find myself wishing for my old life. 

[GothGirl79]

Hi all,

Thought I should actually get around to introducing myself here.

I'll start with my current situation (and then complicate the whole thing with my past!) - I'm a 39 year old divorced mother of three girls with a very acrimonious relationship to my ex which continues to cause stress and anxiety for me. I am currently engaged to a new - female - partner which brings with it both many upsides and also some complications as my partner has ongoing depression / self harm issues arising from being the victim of rape. As almost an offside, I am also a full time member of the military so I also need to balance many time and distance factors there as well.

So that is me now . . . .as for the past 🙂
I grew up suffering depression and anxiety pretty much from childhood. The reason - my body did not match my gender. I was raised, and due to the expectations of society and my family, I pretended to be a boy through school and into adulthood experiencing numerous issues of harassment, bullying, isolation and depression.
I tried to suppress everything with little success and resorted to high risk activities and other means to 'block' my thoughts. Going through depressive episodes constantly whilst also acting (continuing to pretend to be a guy) in every facet of my life took its toll and a number of years ago I progressed to being suicidal. It was by both luck and appropriate/timely intervention by others that I survived that period and made the decision to transition my gender. Having completed that process it has made such an amazingly positive effect on my life overall that those issues that I still deal with (ex-spouse and supporting my partner) seem almost easy in comparison.

I'm here on the forums to hopefully provide some help where I can - knowing full well that I certainly don't have all the answers - and to also communicate and find support for those issues that I know I will continue to deal with into the future.
(oh - and I am a very open person and happy to talk about pretty much anything!)

Kind regards

beyondblue's clinically-trained moderators often work offline (invisible to you) on issues relating to suicide or self-harm. At the same time, general supportive comments from the community are encouraged. If you have concerns around suicide or self-harm, please phone our support service on 1300 22 4636.

[Chris_B]

Hi Helen, congratulations on making a first post to the forum and reaching out. It's great to hear that you've found exercise to be a help in managing your depression and anxiety, it sounds like you've been through a huge amount over the years - this is a great place to talk it through, if you'd like to.

Below are a few links to some threads members have started on self-esteem, feel free to have a read and reach out in those if you'd like to continue talking, or start your own thread if you wish:

Boosting of self-esteem

New person - low self-esteem

Self-esteem help

Is low self-esteem really a problem?

Self-esteem

[NerNerNer]

Hey all, I'm NerNerNer. You can call me Ner for short.

I'm a long term moderate-to-severe depression, anxiety and complex PTSD person. I'm resistant to medication and have been trying talk therapy continuously for a few years ending last year. Everything was present but relatively under control until I over-worked myself into the worst mental and physical health I remember experiencing over the space of about a year. That and I had some difficulties with toxic work contracts, bullying at work and a toxic share house environment that was constant drama and conflict.

I'm 34 years old, currently unemployed and apparently unemployable for the next few months until I recover. Right now I'm just trying to keep things together until I can get a job and pay to get some therapy again.

[geoff]

dear ED, thanks for letting us know about the marvellous work you do as an Ambassador for Beyond Blue.

It's such a distinguished role that you have taken on, and the many different people you must have met would definitely be enthralling and uplifting.

I appreciate the time that you have given us. Geoff.

[Chris_B]

Hi Ner,

Welcome to the forums. We have had a few people join recently with experience of PTSD, you might wish to have a look through some of the threads below:

PTSD, Anxiety, Disassociation, I'm not sure I want to do this anymore

PTSD from violence, abuse, grief and traumatic events

PTSD and now secondary depression

PTSD from an anaesthesia awareness trauma

Newbie PTSD

Bullying and my PTSD

PTSD, anxiety and no support

I have PTSD, I can't cope anymore

Here are some threads on workplace bullying as well:

Workplace bullying and loss of job

Workcover bullying, no help anywhere

Workplace bullying causing grief

Please help - workplace bullying, advice/support appreciated

Recovering from workplace bullying

[beyondjazz]

Hey Crumb,

I remember feeling like that at school too. It's hard to say what is 'normal' when you're a teenager. Nothing felt normal when I was 15!

I think it's great that you're reaching out, even if it's hard to find someone you trust. These forums are a good place to just 'get stuff off your chest' and you can do so anonymously. 

I am 27 now (woah - old!) and after many years of battling depression & anxiety I found a person who I could trust - and who I really respected. Since then I have found ways to improve my mental health and bad days are much rarer now. I did 'shop around' though, and waited to find someone who suited me. It's a bit like finding a dentist - you have to find a good one - that works for you. 

Anyway, just wanted to say 'hang in there' and well done on taking some positive steps. 

Beyondjazz