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lost and trying to find my way back

Community Member



I am in my early 30s. Married but in a long distance relationship with my wife. We have been in LDR for 14 yrs now but since COVID hit, I was unable to go home. I moved to Aus 6 yrs ago in view to bring my wife here who is suffers from depression. However last year, i believe my absence during the 2 yrs, she has decided to leave the relationship and I took it very hard.

I am still working, seeing a counsellor and living day by day but although its been a year since she left, i find myself having daily anxiety and feeling lonely and weak. I sometimes breakdown at least 2-3 times a week. 

I am just hoping maybe someone with the same experience could share with me how to get out of this mental state. I miss my wife a lot. 

7 Replies 7

Mark Z.
Community Champion
Community Champion

Hi calkestis,


I'm really sorry to hear that you're going through such a tough time, I can imagine how hard it is for you.


First of all I want to encourage you to continue with therapy. Professional help is important and you are already on the right track.


It's also a great idea to explore BeyondBlue forum. You can also call 24/7 hotline to have a chat with a professional, to get more suggestions or inspiration.


Don't forget to each out to friends and family, no matter by phone, online, or in person. They may not be able to fully understand what you're going through, but their support including emotional support can be extremely comforting.


To manage your daily life better, I'd suggest you to establish your daily routine. It can provide a sense of structure and normalcy which is really beneficial when dealing with emotional distress. And include things that you enjoy and that relax you. Whether it's reading a book, cooking, painting, listening to music, or anything else, taking time to care for yourself.


Physical activity is a powerful mood booster because it stimulates various brain chemicals that may leave you feeling happier and more relaxed. Try to go to the nature as much as possible, it will help for sure.


Remember, healing takes time and it's okay to have bad days. Allow yourself to feel what you're feeling and be gentle with yourself. You're already doing the right thing by seeking help and trying to find ways to cope. If you ever feel like your mental health is in a critical state, reach out to a mental health professional immediately. They can provide the help you need.



Community Champion
Community Champion



I'm sorry to hear about your long-distance relationship with the challenges you've faced, especially with your wife's decision to leave. It's understandable that you're experiencing anxiety, loneliness, and feeling weak. Separation in whatever form would create a hole in our life - where someone was, is no longer there. Croix made good suggestions on what to do. 🙂


And I would acknowledge the positive steps you are taking in seeking professional counseling. I would guess these conversation you have with the counsellor would include things you could do to create connections with others?


Remember that healing takes time. 


Listening if you want to chat some more.

Thank you Mark. 


Yea. My counsellor was also the one who encouraged me to post on this forum as he noticed i don't share much and I don't have much social life due to my anxiety. Thank you though for your post. I highly appreciate your time and advice. 

Thank you small wolf.


It was also my counsellor's advice to share my story on this forum too since i don't have much of a social life due to my ongoing anxiety which i am trying to manage. Thank you for your time and i am just glad to be able to share my story with others and not keep it in within myself. 

Mark Z.
Community Champion
Community Champion

No worries, Calkestis. Feel free to share your thoughts whenever you wish. We are always ready to provide advice or share our personal experiences. Additionally, you can search for relevant keywords and read similar posts. I am confident that you will find them inspiring as well.


Hope everything will be better.

Champion Alumni
Champion Alumni

Hello Calkestis, I'm sorry because this certainly is not pleasant at all.

Living in a LDR may be good money, however, it can affect a marriage or any r/lationship because there could be occasions where one person needs support but being away may not help, even so it's still upsetting that your wife decided to leave, as my wife left me but it wasn't a LDR and know how devastating this is.

If it's been a year do you still want to be in contact with her, because my ex and I talk weekly and still see each other even though we are divorced, just as if nothing happened.

Please get back to us if you want to.


Life Member.

Community Member

Hi Geoff,


Yea my wife and I do still text as I still care for her. But sometimes the loneliness just hits me and reality sinks in. We don't see each other. We used to vidcall on a daily basis but now we don't. I understand she is facing her own depression and I know these things can't be forced. I even told her that I respect her decision and all I can do now is move on and continue with therapy.


Thank you so much for sharing Geoff. I highly appreciate it knowing one day I should be okay