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Tealeaf01
Community Member

Hi,

First time poster here. Actually, I only signed up today so kinda thought I'd keep the ball rolling and jump into the deep end.

I'm really not sure what to say so I guess I'll just start with a quick run down...

4 years ago, I flew back home to new Zealand where I looked after my Nana who was sick with my mum. It was such a difficult time. Nana was in her 80's and always so independent. A member of the badminton club, knitting club, volunteering at hospice and now she has difficulty getting out of bed, walking, you know, just doing your normal everyday things. She was in and out of hospital, having daily home visits by nurses etc Mum and I were away from everything familiar back in Oz. After about 4 months, I had to fly back as my daughter was turning 18. It was bitter-sweet leaving but I couldn't miss my girls birthday.

After those months of sleepless nights, stress, feeling homesick, I let my hair down and celebrated my own birthday. I've always been the type who was never scared to be experimental, so this weekend was no different. Little did I know how much my life would change by making this choice. Amongst the cocktail of drugs I used, I tried meth. From that night on, I was hooked. As a result of that, my marriage suffered to the point that we separated after being together for 15 years. In the time we have been separated, my ex husband has been diagnosed with stage 4 colarectal cancer. The cancer hasn't responded to chemo and now it has metastasised and spread to most of his major organs and now reached his bones. We've been told by the specialist that he has 6-12 months if treated. The radiotherapy is pretty much to pro long his life and perhaps ease the pain a little. I'm not dealing well with this news. I've fallen off the wagon. I've tried giving up but I'm addicted. I don't have the tools I need to kick this habit. I have since had a baby who's 18 months old. He has given me focus, and a reason to live but I need help and I'm ready to ask for it.

6 Replies 6

Sophie_M
Moderator
Moderator
Hi Tealeaf01,

We are so sorry to hear about what you're going through; it sounds like it has been a tough time. Thank you for being part of our forums, it takes a lot of courage and strength to reach out for support and we are so glad that you have done so. The community will be here to listen and chat with you. If you would like some further support please feel free to reach out to Beyond Blue 1300 22 4636.

Petal22
Community Champion
Community Champion

Hi Tealeaf01,

Wellcome to our forums!

Im sorry to hear about your Nana.

Im also sorry to hear that you are addicted to meth but I’m glad you are here seeking help.

I understand that drug addiction is a hard thing to go through but I also know that there is HOPE for you and you can overcome your addiction.

Please google Kyle Quilly Quilausing he once was a meth addict and spent time in a high custody jail. He is now sober and has beaten his meth addiction. He is a very inspirational person. Kyle says is he CAN then YOU can…….. this man has totally turned his life around 🙏

Im sorry to hear of what your ex husband is going through.

Im happy to hear your baby gives you a reason to live.

Please seek help through your gp for your drug addiction I’m sure they will have ways that can help you.

We are here as a community to support you.

Sophia16
Community Champion
Community Champion

Hi,

Thank you for being so open and sharing your story. That takes a lot of strength and courage. I can see that you have been through so much and you are probably feeling helpless and unhappy. You have been so strong throughout this journey.

I am glad that you are seeing someone for help. I know you will get through all this hardship. One day everything will be normal and fine.

Please stay safe and I am here to chat if you need me.

Thank you. I plan on utilising the forums and any other services I may need from this site

Thanks for the kind words. I'll definitely look kyle up

I believe in order to get help, one must be transparent so I'm doing my best to be open