Hi

[51]

Hi Everyone I am new here, 1st post. Not really sure what to write, not really sure on anything at the moment. Just that Im tired very tired and really mad.

Hoping just hoping at the moment.

[BKYTH]

G'day. Its important to say something about your situation. What is it that you're tired of? Why are you really mad?   Perhaps you could write some things down on paper and then post it because as it is its not really possible to know how to try to help you........................What are you hoping for? . I hope you post again and say something more about your situation. Philip.

[51]

Hi Philip I have had what I would call a hard few years, I have had 5 family members pass in 6 years, one being my mother with whom I ended up being the primary carer for.  Which I didn't mind doing but her medical issue made her very abusive which was all directed towards me, the rest of the family didn't help and one brother even told me to suck it up. My brother passed unexpectedly, just short of his 50th birthday.  I watch as they worked on him (last 7 min) .  Not sure that it is a tired of something Im just physically tired all the time.  Mad I think its a build up of the last few years, issues with work, issues with my husband losing my family and the attitude of the remaining family members.   

[BKYTH]

Yes. You could call them hard years. Family dynamics can be difficult, and just as in life itself, unfair. The way death sometimes occurs in those we love can be cruel and indifferent to those who have to witness it. You have been through a lot.                                                                                                                                                                         Sometimes, such as when reading a post like yours, I wonder what I could possibly say that would be of any value to you. Sometimes it seems the only bridges we can build between our family and ourselves will always be shaky and unreliable.                                                                                                                                                                                I can remember my mother saying to me on my first admission to a psychiatric hospital over 40yrs ago "IF you think you've got problems now wait til you get married" But in my reflections on that statement I can sense her fear and uncertainty of what was happening at the time. While it sounds a harsh and callous utterance I hold no resentment towards her for saying it. Sometimes words can seem cruel but if understood can reveal something of the psychological state of the person who says them.                                                                                                      Death will always catch us unaware because as a society we don't discuss it until the reality of someones death forces us too. What we avoid will always arrive with a sharper sting than that which we have considered and accepted as being a normal part of life.                                                                                                                                  I try to accept others as being who they are and not as I would have them whether or not they are family - People can hurt us a great deal and disappoint us, and that too, is a normal part of life but with understanding that hurt and disappointment can be largely reduced. I find it better if I focus on how I deal with what others do than on what they did. The first I can have a definite say on the latter I can't.                                                                                It is not the outside world which concerns me but my response to it that I focus on because the world will be as it is, and people, whether family or not, will do as they do. My advise to you would be to develop such an attitude yourself because what we resist and struggle against will respond in kind.             Philip.

[Guest_1055]

Hello 

I am glad you have some hope. And I am glad you took care of your mother even though she was abusive to you, because of her medical issues. I am thinking now that must have not been easy at all. If it is OK for me to say so, you must have really loved her, And I am so sorry for your loss of so, so many of you family members, including your mum. Sounds like you have been carrying a lot, with all this different issues in your life. Like it is too heavy, weighing you down and making you so tired. Are you able to just breathe deeply, let it all go and go on some sort of very restful holiday or break. Because I know being a primary carer for someone can make you very tired. I am just wondering once you have had a refreshing rest, you may be able to see things more clearly and be more sure of things. Well those are just my thoughts. I hope something I have written aids you in some way.

With love and encouragement to have a rest.

Shelley anne