Hi Just got out of the hospital, and trying to deal with being locked in with a Narcissist

[Scapegoated]

Being trapped with my mother is what landed me in the hospital. I cannot stand the way she devalues people. No one has any value unless they are "pretty." She never can laugh with me about things unless it is to put someone else down. I don't find that fun; I find it really depressing because she does that and did that to me my whole life. I don't think I am going to survive another lockdown. I have to go to school and my friends' houses and get away from her. So, I guess what I am asking people is to give me some ideas on how to have fun by myself in my room. I love to write. I like to create characters who are funny& nice. I VALUE them and they aren't pretty. It makes me feel good to read my stories so I guess I can do that but sometimes my body dysmorphia literally gets in the way of that. WHat it is, is obsessing , having intrusive negative thoughts that you can't seem to get away from about how you look. They loop around and around in my head-and i am not vain at all-it is just the opposite. People who have this are attractive but we think we look like monsters. It would be funny if it weren't so painful because i look back on what I thought when I was six and it was so far from reality it actually is funny but the disorder isn't. It falls on the OCD spectrum and it is Very distressing. I have to be honest with everyone here-I am not okay with the fights going on about Covid-19 and i know how psychopathic people can be because of my mother and I know that people in power are just like her and this is extremely stressful. ignorance is bliss I suppose if I did not have a sociopath for a mother i wouldn't know what those in power in the world are capable of. People like my mother have no conscience. She cannot FEEL anything for me. She does not FEEL anything for the people she laughs at and mocks. It is a terrifying time with these mask mandates, social distancing etc. I'd prefer to get the virus seriously. This was the first time I ever did anything bad and ended up in ICU. I need to find a way to make my world happy even though she is outside. So here is what I have done so far. I asked my father if i could sign up for a yoga teacher training-I thought this would force me to exercise and help me relax. he said he would think about it so in the meantime i have signed up for a free 7 day trial what do you think? I am going to write a new character after I complete this post to cheer me up too. any ideas are welcome. Thanks.

[TravelBug2021]

Hello Scapegoated,

Im new to Beyond Blue, just joined today, 26/9/2021. Your post caught my attention as I can relate to your experience of living with a "narcissist" as I've just gotten out of a 4 year relationship with my man, who was such typical narcissist. He put me thru so much pain. I've recently put up a post hopefully to get feedback on anyone who has experienced narcissist abuse.

Pease feel free to drop me a line if your up to exchanging experiences as I'd like to hear what other people have gone thru.

TravelBug2021

[Too_many_narcissists]

Hi - yes my partner of 20 yrs was a covert narcissist.

He showed his true colours when I had cancer and did not feed his narcissistic supply .He was so emotionally unavailable. I eventually realized he enjoyed humiliating me as I wasn't up to feeding his fragile ego. So glad we've been Divorced 4 yrs now.