Hi I'm new in here... a new worrier

[Yuanyuan]

Hi everyone , I'm a woman who is 33 and suffering from anxiety since July last year. Things has been changed a lot since I had panic attack at work last year July. I'm a Chinese woman who living in Australia. It's a culture & language battle for me but I don't want to go back to China because I love the life style in here and Australia makes me feel safe. I married but don't have children. I don't think I can get pregnant with my condition. I think the emotion roller coaster going through in my body and mind just won't help me conceive . I worry about everyday and cry every week. I love my husband so much so much. But My husband doesn't believe what's in my mind. he support me and he knows I see my psychologist every month but he doesn't know what I have been through.he said " you get pregnant before it will be fine this time " ( I was pregnant but unfortunately lost the baby when I was 9 weeks. after 6 months my misscarage I had the panic attack. I feel like Everything went wrong after the panic attack). He thinks I'm just not happy at work. By the way I hate my job ( i use to love my job before the panic attack , now I only see how hard the job is and I don't think I can do it anymore) So everyday I come home just cry infront of him. He had enough with my drama I'm afraid I'm gonna lose him. I don't know who else I can talk to. I don't have any friend in here ........plus it's hard to find a non judgement friends. My job is really physical and stressful( working with children ) i lee thinking even i pregnant I will losey baby again. I can't let myself and him down. Now My husband and I are trying for baby but I can't help myself to worry about it. Is there any one who have anxiety and treat without medication still get pregnant ? Please help me I'm so hate stuck in my worry and thoughts. It's not help me cope my anxiety at all.

[geoff]

hello Yuanyuan, thanks for posting your comment.
I know that there is an old wife's tale and it says that if you aren't relaxed then you won't be able to conceive, but it's a catch-22 situation, but how can you relax if you keep trying to have a baby and can't, thart's what that expression means.
I could suggest Try Acupressure, Rub Your Feet Over a Golf Ball, Squeeze a Stress Ball, have a massage or look at mindfulness, these are different ways for you to try and feel at ease, and perhaps I would have a talk with your husband about the worry to conceive, don't say too much, but if you let him know then you can try going out for dinner, movie or something that you both enjoy.
I think that he needs to know why you are crying, he can sympathise with you, and if you decide to not tell him then your r/ship will not be harmonious, I know that he may say we'll keep trying and he's right, but you need to be comfortable and feel relaxed so try on a week end, go out and enjoy yourself.
Can I also say that you have got pregnant before, so there's no doubt you will once again.
I hope others will also reply back to you, but GOOD-LUCK and please let us know. Geoff. x

[Yuanyuan]

Hi Geoff ,

thanks for your advice. I know you and my husband are all right about my worries but I feel like I just can't control it. I feel tired to battle with my mind everyday I really just want to back to normal again. The happy woman without worry anything. But I'm strong I know I have to battle just like all other people who suffering from anxiety , otherwise I will make myself depressed. But it's really a tireing journey when it's the end ? Do I have to live like this for the rest of my life ? So sad

[geoff]

hello Yuanyuan, you know it does always feel as though it's going to last your whole life when you are stuck in the middle of it, and that there never seems to be any hope that you will be able to lift above it, actually there is some light that will slowly drift through, it's not automatic, it can't possibly be, but a slow gradual day by day, something will take your notice like a magpie feeding their young, or even something which could shred of a tear in delight on TV or what another person has to say.
We're not asking you to control it, because that would only mean that you are faking how you feel and that's not any way to overcome your anxiety, it has to come when you are ready, and to ask me when 'ready' will happen, I can't give you an answer to that, but you will feel a slight change like saying to yourself isn't it lovely to see the sun shine after all of this rain.
The more you feel guilty the longer it will take, just as blaming yourself this will do the same, once guilt has gone then you are more susceptible to listen to what is going on around you. Geoff.x