Hi. Welcome to beyond blue.
I had and have anxiety issues also. I reached a point where I needed to get help. Because I was not coping. I also did not really know how to explain what I was feeling either. What I also found was that I had hundreds of ideas running around in my mind. Preventing me from being able to explain my problems. But I could put them in writing more easily.
You didn't mention whether you are getting professional help or not. So I will cover both bases quickly...
The best place to start would be the K10 checklist here on beyond blue. Quite quick and you will get a recommendation for the next step.
Anxiety typically starts with a trigger which results in negative thoughts and stress. The trick is to work out what the triggers are and work out ways of dealing with them.
You are not alone. You should find the people here helpful and supportive. You will not be judged.
If you are getting professional help there are really 3 choices. Whether you could take your partner to a session is one option. Another is to download information from the beyond blue website for partners so they can get an understanding and how to support the other person. The last option relates to the relationship. But you might might want to have a real conversation with her in a public space where it cannot or should not get argumentative. So that you can explain yourself. And she can listen? I was never argumentative with my wife but we had our conversation at a cafe so that I could be open without the kids interrupting.
I think the truth is when you have anxiety trying to explain to someone about the inner critic in your head is hard. There might be trust issues on her side as well re cheating. I know you probably are but be completely honest. And if you are not getting help, seek it out. I am a work in progress. And I still get grumpy. Still irritable. With the help of my psychologist though, these issues can be managed. And for you.
Wishing you all the best,
Tim
